Staying fit and healthy

The roller coaster ride...

2012-01-06T16:12:00.000+10:00

I started writing this post last week but never got to finish it! Happy New Year everyone!

So anyway, here we are again, on this roller coaster ride called Newborn Baby!

Koby is now 5 weeks old, and what a gorgeous little man he is :) I'm so thrilled that we are now complete as a family. He has the most precious little face, I have been lovingly gazing at it almost non-stop since he was born LOL!

The first 2 weeks were awesome, he really lulled us into a false sense of security. He fell asleep like a dream - couldnt keep him awake!  Although he was a bit fussy during feeds, the fact that he almost straight away started sleeping 5, 6 or 7 hours straight at night was amazing. His day sleeps were at least 2 hours. I felt great, getting at least 5 hours of continuous sleep at night will do that :) Plus I had time through the day to play with Skye.

Then at around week 3 he hit his first growth spurt, and it all went downhill from there. Suddenly he was REALLY windy, burping and farting constantly! EXTRA fussy during feeds, not latching on properly, crying straight after feeds, and started waking up every 1-2 hours. Constantly wanting to be fed, like every hour or two (they call them "frequency days", and by the end of it I feel like I've got no milk left at all). Waking up 2 or 3 times at night for feeds and more screaming. Constantly wanting to be held etc etc.

Phew - its exhausting.   Poor Skye has been watching a LOT of TV lately :(

I remember going through all this last time with Skye, so yes I knew it was coming but I suppose I was hoping that he wouldn't be quite as demanding as Skye was!! The trouble is, you start questioning everything that you're doing. Is it something that I've eaten? Something I drank? Have I not burped him enough? Am I not wrapping him tightly enough? Is it my milk? Is it my fast letdown? Is it the position I'm feeding him?

And of course, everyone has an opinion on what you should and shouldn't be eating. The joys of breastfeeding. Some say that anything that gives YOU gas/wind, will make the baby windy. They say to eliminate all dairy, wheat, onions, broccoli, cauliflower, citrus fruit/juice, cucumber, peas, capsicum, tea/coffee, chocolate (!!!), tomato, nuts etc - honestly, the list is endless. After a while you start to think "What the hell CAN i eat??"

If you go by what you read on the internet, you can pretty much eat rice, and chicken.

I went through all this last time, eliminating everything suspicious from my diet - I did it for a month or more, and you know what? Nothing changed! Skye was still a windy, colicky, refluxy baby. The things that fixed it for Skye were:

a) time
b) baby chiropractic (but then it might just have been a coincidence and good timing)
c) introduction of solid foods at 4 months
d) being able to sit up on her own at around 4-5 months

I keep reminding myself that the hardest time is the first 12 weeks or so. And Koby is now 5 weeks old , so we're over a third of the way there already hahaha...

Skye has been an absolute little trooper. She loves her little brother! She is always wanting to kiss and cuddle him, and wanting to watch his nappy changes, help with his baths. When we do our bedtime routine and say our goodnights and I love yous, she always says "Lub you Koby!" unprompted. So sweet, especially since little Koby is taking up so much of mummys time at the moment!

She's been having her moments though, I knew it would be much harder with a toddler and a new baby, but nothing prepares you for the constant demands from both. And the extra tantrums because the toddler isn't getting as much attention. To be fair, its only on the days when Koby is very unsettled, but its still tough nonetheless.

Anyway, growth spurt is over now and he's back to just waking once a night. On Tuesday night he actually slept straight through from 9.10pm until 4.50am - and I slept the entire time too! Amazing what a difference a full nights sleep can make :) Koby had his first chiropractic adjustment today too :)

Personally I've been feeling fantastic. I recovered really well from the birth, actually I felt pretty much back to normal by a day or two afterwards. I'm still wearing some materntiy pants though, which is annoying me. I've gained a bit of a spare tyre around the belly which I really want to get rid of ASAP. I've lost 11kgs so far, so I've got about 6kgs to go to get back to pre-pregnancy weight.  Breastfeeding is helping but I'm not getting any time to myself to exercise - some days I do manage to get both kids to sleep at the same time but I tend to just want to collapse on the couch for 30 mins, or hang out some washing or something, rather than get on the treadmill. I have managed two training sessions in the last couple of weeks, but its not a priority right now!

So my plan for the moment is to shed as much as I can, slowly, by keeping my food under control (I'm not dieting, just trying to keep my meals healthy and not eat junk!). Biggest problem is that when I'm tired I reach for sugar, bad news! The other challenge is remembering to eat, because when you're caring for two demanding little people, you tend to sort them out and then forget about yourself. Then get so hungry that you end up eating a lot of stuff you probably shouldn't.

Anyway, thats my latest news!

Koby's arrival...

2011-12-14T16:22:00.000+10:00

Here is the story of how little Koby came into the world. (Warning: long post, some gross bits!)

On the Thursday night we dropped Skye off to hubbys parents and headed in to hospital to start the inducement process. The plan was to insert the gel and leave it overnight to start to dilate the cervix, then go home and wait. If nothing happened overnight then I was to go in Friday morning to have my waters broken and possibly intravenous oxytocin to speed up the process.

When we got there, we were shown into a birthing suite and met the midwife, who hooked me up to the monitor to measure bubs heart rate and movements. Bub was being very sleepy as usual, but it was comforting to see the heart rate steady at around 150 bpm. I had been concerned, especially since bub had slowed down movements in the last few days. We were only meant to be hooked up to the machine for about 20 mins, but since they were busy it was more like 45mins. The first 20 mins bub didn’t move, but in the last 20 mins or so started to move around a bit. At one point hubby said that the sound of the heartbeat was like Rolf Harris’ wobble board, and for some reason that just tickled us, and we went into fits of hysterical laughter. We joked that bub didn’t want to come out because the wobble board was blocking its way. (Funny the things that just seem to tickle your funny bone, especially when everyone is a bit nervous!)

Then I had an internal exam and found that I was 4cms dilated anyway, so there was no need for the gel at all, since it would not get me any further than I already was. That was a bit of a relief actually, and we went home feeling positive and hopeful that the stretch and sweep that she also performed might make something happen.

Went to bed early, and actually got an ok nights sleep. I did wake up around 2am with more cramps, but they went away again. Waters hadn't broken naturally so we headed back to hospital for our 6am appointment.

When we got there we were told that it was crazy busy in birthing (it had been a stormy night, and they say its always busier in labour ward when its been storming!), and there was some doubt that they had a spare suite for me!! But there was, and we got settled in birth suite 1. We were warned though that we might be in for a bit of a wait, since all the midwives and doctors were busy with all the labouring ladies, and since nothing had happened with me I was a bit lower on their priorities list!

We waited for 1.5 hours, reading magazines, chatting… and listening to all the other ladies moaning and screaming LOL! I bounced on the birthing ball and tried not to panic about what was soon to happen. At 7.30am a midwife came in and decided that she could at least break my waters for me to get the ball rolling.

I changed into a gown and got on the bed. Had an internal – no change from the night before. Waters were broken – this was totally painless but I kept getting a gush of water when I moved – weird! I was strapped up to a monitor and again had to wait. After half an hour bub was still asleep (lazy little monkey!) so I was given some juice, and finally bub woke up and moved a bit so they could monitor him.

Another half an hour on the monitor, with baby movement this time (and more gushing ewww!) and I was finally able to get up, pants on, and move around. I had my first little contraction just before the straps came off – around 8.30am.

Then I sat on the birthing ball and bounced and rolled around on it, and started to get some very mild contractions. They lasted about 20 seconds and I could still talk through them no problems. I made sure I kept drinking water, and kept going to the loo – I didn’t want to get stuck with a full bladder that wouldn’t empty like last time!

I used a contraction timer app on my iphone to keep track of contractions. The midwves were amazed at the technology LOL!! From 8.45am I started to log them at around 8-10mins apart, lasting for 20-30 seconds each. By 9.30 they were about 5-6mins apart and lasting 30-40 seconds – I wasn’t able to talk through them by then and they were really taking my breath away. By 10am they were 3mins apart and 40-50 seconds long – and really painful. They stayed 3mins apart for a while – just increasing in intensity. I was still on the ball at this stage, but finally I got up and tried to walk around – bad idea. The pain was getting way too intense. I just wanted to grab metal bars and shut my eyes!

By 10.30am they were almost 2 mins apart and lasting 45-60 seconds. Hubby had taken over recording of the contractions by now, I couldn’t stay upright any longer and had to lie down on my left hand side on the bed. By 11am the contractions were 1-2 mins apart, and I was starting to really panic and hyperventilate with the pain.

The doctor came in and laughed that things were a bit more intense than when he’d come in a few hours ago. I was in too much agony to say anything but in the back of my mind I was swearing at him for making a joke of the situation. He asked if I wanted any pain relief, and I asked for gas. He said my next check up with him would be in 45 mins, so he’d see us then and left. (And I never saw him again, as the baby was out before my next review!)

By now with the contractions so close, I had started to sweat profusely. It was dripping off me and I just remember thinking that I was burning, I was so hot. Hubby started to fan me with a magazine and it felt heavenly. I was drenched in sweat, still wearing the purple hospital gown, bra and undies.

After a few goes on the gas, I started to panic even more – thinking that I had hours of this still ahead of me, and started demanding an epidural. Hubby did his best to dissuade me (since I had already pre-decided NOT to use it), but I was determined. I couldn’t take this pain anymore. He even asked the midwife to tell me all the negatives (I would have to sit still for the needle, it would take 40 mins for them to get it organized, I wouldn’t be able to walk around, I’d have to have a catheter etc) but I was not going to be deterred. Each contraction was worse than the one before it, and I could not imagine having to go through hours more pain like this. I was shrieking in agony each time a contraction hit, and I’m normally a very quiet person! I didn’t even make much noise when Skye was born, but this was just too quick and intense!

Then at the next contraction I felt like I had to push so I shouted “I need to push!!”. Midwife was a bit taken by surprise I think, so she asked me to roll onto my back so she could check me (I hadn't been checked since before my waters were broken). My undies/pad were completely saturated by this stage, so she had to peel them off me (I remember thinking in the back of my mind how sorry I felt for her, and how gross that would be!).

I then started babbling about how I cant push yet, its too soon, I’m not ready yet etc. I had to explain this by saying that I had the urge to push last time when I was only 8cms and was told I must not push under any circumstances (easier said than done when your body wants to do its thing). So I assumed the same thing had happened again.

Anyway she checked me and said “oh you sneaky thing you – you’re 10cms fully dilated and ready to go! That was quick! We’ll have this baby out very shortly!” And kept calling me “clever girl, sneaky girl etc etc” and all the while I was thinking “Yeah yeah I bet you say that to EVERYONE!”

So I had to slow things down and calm my breathing. Midwife asked me to listen very carefully, as she would be giving me instructions on how to push and it was really important that I do exactly as she said.

Funnily enough from this point on I don’t remember the pain of the contractions, as I had something to really focus on and a purpose to the pain.

After 2 contractions of pushing they could see the head. A couple more contractions and the head was almost out. The midwife warned me then about the ‘ring of fire’ – which actually wasn’t as bad as I’d thought (maybe all those practice sessions with the epi-no paid off). I had to do little pushes, stop, more little pushes, then stop etc, so that his head didn’t just shoot right out of me and cause tearing!

And then his head was out, and he was face down – NOT posterior!! Phew! And then, according to my birth plan, Hubby took some photos of the head being out! I’m so glad he did that, I’m fascinated by those photos and the wonder of just HOW on earth that head could fit through there!

I then slowly slowly pushed out his body with the next couple of pushes.

Scott got bub immediately and placed him on my chest and told me we had a little boy! And I instantly panted “told you it was going to be a boy!”

I felt a huge surge of relief that the worst was over, and the next thing I said was “Thank God I never have to do that again!!”

I was shaking for a while afterwards, in shock. I had the injection in my leg to speed up the birth of the placenta, which came out whole. I did have to push that out too, but it was nothing after pushing out a baby. We both had a good look at the placenta too - quite fascinating really. The midwife was great at explaining how it all worked.

I was quite pleased with myself that I had done it all with just a few puffs of gas (maybe 10 mins worth) and that I had no tearing, no episiotomy, and no stitches – just a very small graze. The midwife also said that I’d had an almost bloodless birth too!

I was amazed at how I was much more lucid this time around - I guess because it was so much shorter in duration I didn't have time to get fatigued and fuzzy-headed. Big advantage not having pethidene either, last time I was pretty spaced out between contractions, but this time I was much more aware of my surroundings, what people were saying and doing. It was like I was going through this horrendous pain, but I still had this under-layer of conciousness that was thinking clearly and normally, enough to be annoyed at the doctors comments or to have total understanding of the midwifes instructions or whatever.

The cord had been wrapped loosely around his neck once, but he was fine. A grand total of 3 hours in labour, and only 10 mins of pushing!

After all that excitement I felt really cold and shivery for a while, so hubby covered me up in blankets. We then spent the next couple of hours just gazing at our son, and talking about the experience, and trying to decide on a name!

In hindsight, I’m glad that I had to be induced – if my waters had broken naturally and I’d waited until the contractions were close enough together before going to hospital, perhaps we wouldn’t have made it in time! Who knows, I’m just grateful that it all went smoothly and we have a beautiful baby boy to add to our family!

He's here!

2011-12-07T11:25:00.000+10:00

Our little man, Koby Zack, arrived safe and sound at 11.35am on Friday the 2nd of December! Birth weight 3.22kgs (7pds 1oz), 52cms long and 35cm head circumference.

He was 10 days overdue, and I had to have my waters broken (no gel or drip though thankfully!) - but it was only a 3 hour labour in the end! Although I have to admit that the last half hour to 45 mins was one of the most painful in my life - it was excrutiating! And since it all happened so quickly there was no time for drugs, so all I had was gas for about 10 mins, and then it was time to push! And 10 mins of pushing and he was out! Thankfully he was facing the right way, so all those fears about a posterior birth were unneccesary. Happily, no stitches or anything so I'm feeling great physcially... just very very tired.

So a very different experience compared to the first time around.

I will be back later to blog more about the details (since I love birth stories!) - for now I'm trying to figure out how to juggle a newborn and a toddler on my own since hubby has had to go back to work already :( Forgot just how exhausting a newborn can be!

OVER IT!!!!!!

2011-11-29T08:46:00.000+10:00

Officially one week overdue now... still waiting AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!!

Will be induced on Thursday night/Friday morning if nothing happens before then. Keep your fingers and toes crossed that we can avoid that scenario if possible.

Hurry UP baby!!!

Nope, still pregnant!

2011-11-21T13:14:00.000+10:00

Just in case you were wondering - I'm still here, tapping my foot impatiently!

*Sigh* - this is one of the worst things about pregnancy, waiting... waiting... Due date is tomorrow, but dont hold your breath! Doesn't feel like anything is happening. Next hospital visit is on Thursday.

I've mentally started making a list of all the things I'm going to do once I dont have an enormous bump in front of me. Things like giving my hubby and Skye a full-frontal hug, without feeling like we've got a basketball between us. Or being able to sleep on my back again. Or sleeping without constant hip pain. Or being able to pick things up off the floor again, or have more than 3 items of clothing that fits me!!

Yes, can you tell I'm at that REALLY whiney, whingey, complaining stage?? LOL! And yes its exciting to be having a new baby too, I hadn't forgotten about that!

It hasn't been helping that Skye has been really frustrating with her sleeps lately. She started to drop her day sleep altogether, and is now waking at 5.20am every day - regardless of her bedtime. I've got her mostly back on track with her day nap, but still cant work out why she's waking so early in the mornings... just another challenge, another phase!

Our pup Dutchy is proving to be a great little addition to our home though, and its wonderful how well he and Elke get along together too, since this was one of the main things we were concerned about. Elke can be a teeny bit, ummm, aggressive, with other dogs - but somehow she just seemed to "know" that Dutchy belonged. Animals are so smart sometimes.

Anyway, the other week I'd put them to bed and turned out the light - but then a few minutes later realised I'd forgotten something so switched the light back on - and I caught them - like this:

They looked SOOO guilty LOL!! Huddled on Dutchys bed (Elke has her own of course, it was just funny that they both squeezed into the same bed) It looked so funny that I had to turn on the light and take another photo:

Awwww, they love cuddling together!

So glad they have each other now :)

In other news...

2011-11-14T15:40:00.000+10:00

The evolution of our main bathroom. 18+ months in the making.

It started out looking like this below: (before we bought the house - Sept 2009). Not really to our tastes!

We had a separate toilet and bathroom. My husband, ever the "cant-help-myself" home renovator (and yes its just handy that he's a licensed carpenter by trade as well) decided back in March 2010 that the bathroom needed "fixing". Main reason was that we had a 3 month old baby at the time, and only a spa bath in our ensuite to bath her in. So the aim was to renovate the main bathroom to give us a more child-friendly bathroom.

Out came the dividing wall... up came some tiles. The tiles had other ideas about being removed though, they were stuck fast!

Pretty horrible... pink blinds... nice!

So then he had to extend the wall out and move the laundry door too so that it didn't open into the new bathroom space (laundry is also in the process of being done)

Piping had to be changed and diverted from the corner, to the back wall. We lived with it like this for a long time! I had started to shun visitors because of the state of the bathroom!

And then.... suddenly it all started to happen about 6 weeks ago! Our tiler mate came around and did the floor to ceiling tiles for us. The bath had been in position for a while, but then it actually got plummed in!!

Next thing to tackle was the surround for the bath. Hubby bought some Tallowwood flooring "seconds" a while ago, with a view to using it in the bathroom and laundry. This timber is beautiful. We actually had a cabinet-maker mate come around to design our bathroom for us months ago, however he told us that hubby's design for the bath surround could not be done!! Yes it was painstaking and fiddly, but its a custom built work of art as far as I'm concerned :) Perhaps I'm biased :)

He also used the Tallowwood for the vanity drawers. Some Caesar Stone for the benchtop and some lovely chrome taps make a difference too.

And this is the bathroom as of November 2011 as it nears completion!

The bath - looking all shiny and lovely! We are going to put some little accessories/candles/knick-knack type things in the niches - we just need to decide on a colour and go from there. Now that the timber has been all laquered up it looks awesome.

And the new vanity, again custom-made with the Tallowwood. The only remnant of the old bathroom here is the gold powerpoint and light switch. White ones coming soon!

And the last things on the bathroom "to-do" list - sand and paint the ceiling, square-set cornice, and some down-lights!

So nice to have a shiny new bathroom!

Waiting... waiting...

2011-11-11T06:31:00.000+10:00

Yes I'm still here, still waiting!

About 11 days to go now until our official due date - although Skye was 8 days late so I'm not holding my breath!!

I'm at that really uncomfortable stage now - where it doesn't matter how I sit, how I lie down in bed, or how I stand - you just cant get comfortable, or even sleep. How cruel is it, that at a time in life when you need the most sleep you can get, you just cant get it! I dont sleep for longer than 2 hours at a time now, either waking up to go to the loo, or just waking up so I can roll over to reduce the pain in my hips, or waking up to adjust the multitude of bloody pillows that I now share the bed with - aaarrggh!!

I have finished work as of Tuesday though, so thats a relief. Baby capsule is now installed in the car - and wow, does it feel strange when I look back and see TWO kids seats in the back of my car!!

Anyway its all for a good cause! Although I'm starting to freak out - I want this baby out now, but I know what I have to go through to get it - eeeek!!

Thought I'd share with you a conversation I had with my 22 month old daughter in the car the other day:

Skye: "Mummy?"
Me :    "Yes Skye?"
Skye: "Mummy mummy?"
Me:     "Yes?"
Skye: "MUMMY!!!!"
Me:     "What?"
Skye: "Mummy mummy mummy MUMMY! Mummy! MUMM-EH! Muu-uum... mummy... mumm-ehh! MUMM-EH!!" etc etc etc and continued for 15 mins (all said while grinning at me in triumph)

Me:    "Sigh"

How do you manage it?

2011-10-17T07:32:00.000+10:00

So all you mums with more than one child – HOW DO YOU DO IT??

The further along in this pregnancy I get, the more and more I start to worry about how the hell I’ll cope with a baby and a toddler.

Of course you just “do it” and you somehow manage to get through the days, but are there any tips or tricks for how to better manage it?

I’ve been thinking back on the early days with Skye – unfortunately she had colic and silent reflux - but we didn’t realise she had reflux til she was older, and it explained A LOT.

Anyway, I vividly remember some days where it would take me 2 + hours to get her to settle off to sleep, often with non-stop screaming along the way. Only to have her sleep for 20 minutes, wake screaming for a feed, and go through it all again. Exhausting. I would come out of her room after hours of burping and settling her, to flop on the couch and cry. Quite a stressful time.

We tried everything to fix the colic/reflux, but sadly the only remedy was time, and putting her on solids at 4 months as advised by the doctor.

Obviously I had the time to spend settling a colicky/refluxy baby back then – but I will not have that luxury this time.

Of course we’re hoping to not have a second unsettled baby. I’d like to officially place my order for one of those “dream” babies you hear about!!

Unfortunately, both reflux and colic runs in my husbands family – they AAALLLLL had either one or the other, even his niece and nephew. However there is none in my family, so we can but hope.

This bub is MUCH quieter and less active than Skye was. Skye was beating me up internally, constantly, from about 16 weeks onwards – all day AND all night. She never seemed to stop kicking me or constantly hiccuping while in utero. And she’s totally active now, never stops. This bub though seems MUCH more sedate. Sometimes I get a bit worried because I haven’t had much movement – and then I get a good strong kick or feel it "squirm" and feel better.

Anyway, I’ve bought a Maya Wrap/ring sling to try, as I’ve heard that baby-wearing can help. I’ve also got a Baby Bjorn carrier too from last time. I’m thinking that this bub might just have to learn to sleep on the run, in the swing or in the baby carrier. Or else I might just have to buy some noise-cancelling ear phones!

Hellooo!

2011-10-06T15:44:00.000+10:00

Hello my poor neglected blog, are you still there?? I seriously don’t know where the time goes these days!

We’ve got about 7 weeks to go until we meet the newest family member, and the countdown has begun in earnest! Cannot WAIT for this pregnancy to be over!

The whinging has started MUCH earlier with this pregnancy :)

Seems like my coping abilities are declining with age maybe? Anyway, I’m certainly not breezing through this pregnancy like I did last time. My knuckles started to swell weeks ago, so I’ve had to move my wedding and engagement ring to my little finger so that they don’t get stuck like they did last time.

I’ve also just this week started to notice some slight swelling in my feet – here comes the “sausage toes” look, just in time for summer – hooray! :)
I think the main reason for the lack of coping is having a child approaching the terrible twos!! I love my child to death, but seriously she is learning how to push all my buttons lately.

Is it normal for a child of this age-group to NOT CARE if they get into trouble? I mean, everything is like water off a ducks back to this kid. Cheeky? Oh yeah, with a capital “C”. She doesn’t care if she gets yelled/roared at, privileges removed, bedtime story withheld, nothing else to eat if she doesn't eat dinner, smacks on the bum or anything. Just doesn’t care - everything is funny to her.

Last night she decided that she’d had enough of her dinner, and started squirming in her high-chair, twisting around, and then standing up in it. After being asked a couple of times to sit down, daddy ROARED at her to sit down. Which she did. She hung her head for about 5 seconds, then glared at him and gave him the evil eye for 5 seconds, and then proceeded to chuckle and giggle at him!

To which we both had to turn our heads and cover our faces so she wouldn’t see us cracking up laughing! But she saw us laughing anyway, and it just reinforced to her that getting into trouble is funny!! How do you deal with that? Its SO hard not to laugh!

I suppose the good thing is that she doesn’t sulk, ever. She gets over things in the blink of an eye. Its hard to stay mad with her for long because she herself just ‘gets on with it’.

She hasn’t really had many tantrums yet – her big thing is if she decides she doesn’t want to walk where I want her to go, she just lies down – wherever she happens to be – in the shops, on the driveway, in a carpark etc. She just lies down and looks at me as if to say “ha-ha – come get me!” So I then pick her up, drag her by the arm or whatever – I try to make her walk if I can, since my back isn’t coping with carrying her much anymore. I’m fast running out of energy, especially with a huge pregnant belly as well.

Negotiations don’t really work either, so sometimes I just give in because I really don’t have the energy or the patience to fight with her anymore. Toddlers really are exhausting little people!

Progress photos and our newest family member

2011-09-01T15:35:00.000+10:00

A few "bump" photos from this pregnancy... I must admit I've been extremely slack at taking photos this time around! Last time I took them every 2 weeks, pretty much religiously. But these days I just forget to.

18 weeks and I was pretty much feeling just fat at this stage.

20 weeks

27 weeks and HOLY DOOLEY I've suddenly "popped"! My belly button is even sticking out already!

I think I'm going to feel like a whale by the end, considering I've still got 12 + weeks to go.

Getting a few comments that I'm much bigger, sooner, this time around.

The weather has started to warm up and I've been able to go without jumpers for the last week or two, so perhaps its just suddenly visible now. Had a few comments from other mums at playgroup that they didn't even realise I was pregnant, and then suddenly I'm VERY pregnant!

For the last month or so I've been feeling quite restricted around my ribs. I have to be careful not to eat too much at one sitting because it feels like my lungs dont have enough room in there. Dont remember feeling this way last time!

Anyway - in other news:

We got a puppy!

I know, I know - in 12 weeks we'll have a newborn baby and a toddler, and then we go and add a puppy to the mix?? Are we insane??

This is Dutchy - he's a 12 week old toy poodle X pomeranian. (yes, he's sort-of named after a character from Sea Patrol, but it does suit him!)

If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you might remember that we lost our beloved Alaskan Malamute Shavez, not long before Skye was born (Read here if you want to feel sad).

We've umm-ed and ahhh-ed about getting another dog ever since. We still have our beautiful miss Elke (Border Collie X Keeshond) who is now 8 years old, and my gorgeous Siamese Cat Connor who is now nearly 14 - but my husband has been missing "his boy" ever since that awful day.

Sometimes we still sit and chat about Shavez, and it usually still ends in tears from both of us.

So getting a new pooch has been a long time coming, but hubby just hasn't been ready. It will be 2 years on Fathers Day since we said goodbye to Shavez.

Miss Elke is an awesome dog, but she's a little strange that she never gets excited when we get home -most dogs leap about in crazed excitement. She wont sit with him while he's working outside, she'll come inside and sleep on her own instead. She's a bit of a loner in that respect. (I love her to pieces though - she's SO good with Skye, so patient and smart, and I can leave food on the ground in front of her all day and she wont touch it unless I say she can)

Anyway, after deciding that he wanted a little lapdog, hubby found this little pup on the internet on Saturday - and agonised over it for hours! Finally we made a mad dash to the northside of Brisbane to check out this little man (in the pouring rain!) and came home with him!

How could we refuse a face like this!

Let the games begin!

Baby names

2011-08-13T16:04:00.000+10:00

Oh my poor neglected blog! If anyone is still reading, I apologise for my lack of posting!

Partly I’m just busy, partly I’m just uninspired. I’m sure everyone is sick of reading my dribble! The only things I’ve got to talk about are my toddler, and my pregnancy and at the moment I’m into my 3rd week of battling a cold/chesty cough/tonsillitis so my motivation is quite low right now!

Anyway, onto baby names…

Wow – its SO hard to come up with baby names that you can both agree on. Last time, we had two girls names picked out – our number one pick was Piper Lily, and our “back up name” was Skye Lily (but we both preferred our first choice). I’m a big believer in having a few options!

When she was born, I looked at her and I thought to myself “She doesn’t LOOK like a ‘Piper’”… and two seconds later my husband said the exact same thing! So by default, she became Skye! I couldn’t imagine her with any other name now!

It was lucky that we had a girl, because we had absolutely ZERO boy names picked out. We just couldn’t agree on anything.

During my labour, my husband was asking all the midwives:

“Have you got any good boys names?” I didn’t know about this until later, I was so wrapped up in my own little world LOL!

Girls names seem to be much easier. Boys names are tougher in my opinion!

Names are so individual too. Once the baby is born, people will generally say that it’s a lovely name, whether they actually feel that way or not! It doesn’t matter though, as long as we like it.

How did you go about choosing names? Baby name book? Internet site? Celebrity name?

Before Skye, I’ve only had to name pets in the past. I had a beautiful Staffie once, and named him “Tyler”. I got his name by flicking through the White Pages, looking for surnames that appealed to me.

When we got miss Elke (Border Collie X Keeshond) she was nameless for a day or two. We toyed with the idea of “Sassy” and even called her that for a day, but it wasn’t right. I found “Elke” on a baby name website, and it just fit. (We pronounce it “Elkie”).

Connor the Siamese cat got his name from the Highlander movie (“Connor MacLeod, of the clan MacLeod!” – I used to love that movie, and this is the only line I remember from it!)

We like unusual names, but not so weird that they’ll get teased. We prefer names of just one or two syllables too – it just seems to fit with our surname better.

I have about 5 iphone apps dedicated to Baby Names – I guess I’ll just keep looking! Time is running out though – we need inspiration!

Thoughts on Childbirth for Bub Number 2

2011-07-18T14:08:00.000+10:00

The Jellybean at 19 weeks

Well, I'm almost 22 weeks pregnant now, over half way - where is the time going? We have a revised due date of the 22nd of November (one day earlier LOL!) so lets hope this little one doesn't keep us waiting like Skye did!

Anyway, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I would do differently for this birth – which is frighteningly fast approaching!

I think that having “been there and done that” once before, you are LESS scared of the actual birth process itself. But having said that, it doesn’t mean I’m not scared!! In a few ways I'm MORE nervous, because I know whats coming! When we first found out I was pregnant, I found myself trying to sleep, but having flashbacks of the birth, and started wondering "What the hell am I doing this again for??!!"

I had a relatively “ok” birth the first time around. Skye had been posterior at around 34 weeks, but by 36 weeks she had turned around the right way. By the time I went into labour at 41 weeks, she was back to posterior again! A lot of babies turn themselves during labour, but not my stubborn little monkey. So she came out face up and mummy had to have a ‘snip’.

The doctor at the hospital asked me last week whether, if I had the choice, if I would "do" another posterior birth without the epidural, as I did last time. Hmmm, will have to think on that one.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about whether having one posterior baby leads to a likelihood that the second baby will also be posterior. The last doc said there was about a 30% chance - but a lot depends on mums body and how the pelvis is built. I found it particularly frustrating, because the “cure” for getting a posterior baby to turn is to spend a lot of time on your hands and knees so your belly swings down, sitting forward on chairs (and not slumping back into couches when watching TV etc), to make gravity do its job and get the heaviest part of bub (their back) to naturally fall towards your front.

BUT – here’s the frustrating and difficult part – how do you manage that when you have edema (swelling of feet, ankles, legs and hands) as well? Because whenever I complained of that to the docs/midwives, the recommendation is to “put your feet up/recline, lie down/have your feet higher than your hips” etc. Which contradicts what you’re meant to do for a posterior bub. So you do both - and neither helps the other.

Anyway, maybe I’m counting my chickens before they’ve hatched, but its something I’ve been thinking about.

I was relatively active in my first pregnancy, still exercising regularly until about 26 weeks, I worked full time in a busy role until 35 weeks pregnant too, along with packing and moving house when 7 months pregnant. I’m probably less active these days – not as much exercise as I’d like, and my job involves walking from the lounge room into the study and sitting down at the computer for the entire duration of Skyes naps. So I guess I’m concerned that a posterior birth is more likely.

For the actual birth process, I have a few ideas.

Last time I hated the gas, and so I’m going to tell them this time to bugger off with it unless I ask for it. I didn’t have the strength or knowledge to say no last time, every time I cried in pain, the midwife would say “USE THE GAS, USE THE GAS!!” and I just dutifully obeyed when it was shoved in my face. I found the gas annoying more than anything. Plus it gave me a dreadfully dry, sore throat for a couple of days afterwards – it hurt to swallow!

The other thing I’m going to ask for is WATER!! I drank zero water during my last labour. Hubby didn’t think to give me any, nobody else thought to give me any. And honestly it was the last thing on my mind, but I was so parched and dehydrated afterwards that I really wish I had. So that will be hubbys job this time around – to at least keep offering (even when I’m swearing at him LOL!).

I’d also like him to take a few photos this time around. Not of the ‘gory’ bits, but just the environment in general. I don’t remember much of anything except pain from last time (hazy memory due to the pethidene I think), and the only photos we took were AFTER Skye had entered the world.

And I’d like to have a bit more of an active birth this time. Last time I was so caught up in my own little world, I just wanted to lay down and grip the bars of the bed and squeeze my eyes shut and not think about anything. But I think I should try to do some breathing exercises this time, stay on my feet more (or at least just lean on the bed, rather than lie on it). Hopefully that might let me have more of a sense of reality, rather than just be in a bit of a haze the whole time. I guess the pethidene didn’t help with that though, as it makes you doze off between contractions. Maybe I can avoid it this time!

And finally of course I'm hoping for a shorter labour this time - although I cant really complain too much, Skye took about 14 hours "unofficially" (or 9 hours if you go by the hospitals records of "official" length of labour) - so I shouldn't really complain I guess!

Hoarding

2011-06-27T09:32:00.000+10:00

We are part the way through setting up Skye's new bedroom, complete with a new King Single bed!! (We're going to need the cot, and the room beside ours for the new arrival in November). Now I just need to get some decor happening in there, some block-out blinds and a safety rail for the bed and she'll be ready to move in!

So yesterday I cleared out the wardrobe of her new bedroom (which was previously the ‘spare’ room – commonly thought of as the ‘junk room’) to make way for the move.

This room has been the prime place for storing things that we don’t use often, or don’t know where else to put them. It also contained a double bed for "guests" (except we never have any stay overnight these days), spare TV, golf clubs, extra clothes, Christmas decorations, boxes still unpacked from the last move etc. Every house I’ve ever lived in has had a room like this, and I just move this junk from one house to the next!

YesterdayI discovered about 7 rolls of wrapping paper in the wardrobe (and yet I could never find any when I needed it!), and I finally came to the conclusion that I have a serious problem with hoarding gift bags. Whenever people give presents in a gift bag, I always save them with the thought that they are so cute, I’ll use that again. And guess what, I never do! So I have dozens of gift bags "saved" for that purpose!

Another sadder realization that I finally admitted to is the fact that I’m a shocking hoarder of anything sentimental from my past. I mean, I knew that I still had these things, but for some reason I couldn’t let them go. I went through bags containing my high school English lecture pad, with stories I’d written as a teenager (I was an aspiring short-story writer back then). Also, my year 12 student diary and class timetables, with lots of scribbles, notes and jokes inside from friends now long lost. I used to be a member of a theatre group after I finished school, and I’d kept all the old programs of shows that I’d gone to or been involved with – also from those days I’d kept cast newsletters, song lists, scripts, handwritten notes regarding plays that I was in…

I found my old poetry book, where I wrote some pretty good poems (and some pretty bad ones too). And for some reason, I’d kept all my wall calendars from the last 15 years – handy in case I ever wanted to know what date I went to the dentist back in 1998, or what movies I went to see in 2001!!

I also found things from when I was 15 or 16 when I was MAD on the TV shows like The Young Ones and Monty Python movies/series – so I’d written out entire scripts from the skits I liked, along with Monty Python song lyrics… scribbles on paper with lines from Doors or The Cure songs that I listened to at the time etc

I also found my old guitar that I tried to teach myself to play on, when I was about 14!! I keep carting these things from house to house every time we move. I don’t even think about NOT bringing them, because I suppose they are a part of me and my history.

But yesterday I culled about one third of it. I’ve kept the stuff that I just cant even contemplate dumping (and probably wont). I’ve still got a couple of shoe boxes of cards, letters, postcards and photos to go through yet, so I might be getting rid of even more junk soon.

Part of me feels a bit sad at throwing away this “junk”. I know most of it is meaningless, but I suppose its what it represents, rather than what it is. All of these things remind me of certain times, artistic times, or certain friendships. The fact that I haven’t looked at any of these things for years means nothing, its just a part of me.

But another part of me knows that I cant continue to hoard ALL of this stuff for the rest of my life (otherwise I'd need a whole house to store it all!), and I know that it’s a good thing to let some of it go. I have the memories, and that’s what counts.

Luckily I’m not a hoarder of anything else!!

But don’t get me started on my husbands Car Magazine Collection – and he doesn’t see anything wrong with that either!

15 weeks

2011-06-05T16:38:00.000+10:00

The weeks are flying past – only another 25 weeks to go LOL!!

So now I’m past the first trimester I’m feeling a lot better, so nice to feel relatively normal again!

Although having said that, I’ve picked up a cold – booo!

I haven’t been sick for a LONG time, I think the last time was when I was pregnant with Skye, so its been maybe 2 years – a bit of a shock to the system! Normally whenever I feel a tickle in the throat I’m quick to dose up on good old Olive Leaf Extract – multiple spoonfuls of that usually sees me waking up just fine the next day. But of course you cant take anything like that when you’re pregnant. :( So its been lemon juice, manuka honey, and Butter Menthols all week.

Anyway, since I haven't been sick in ages, I've been moaning about it all week. My hubby is the kind who DOESN'T want sympathy when he's sick, he just wants to be left alone - never grumbles (yes I know, how was I lucky enough to score one of those men??). But the opposite side to that is, when its ME that gets sick, I get no sympathy from him at all LOL!!

My bicep tendonitis seems to be flaring up at the moment too. My whole right shoulder, rotator cuff, shoulder blade and lats seem to be involved, and its at the point where its getting painful to raise my arm above shoulder height when my arm is outstretched. I haven't done any shoulder exercises for a while, so I'm not sure why its playing up now. Possibly picking up a 17 month old doesn't help. Might have to eventually see somebody about that. But who? Physio? Acupuncture? Massage?

I've got my first hospital appointment this week, deciding to go to public hospital again. After doing the sums, its going to end up costing about $3000 out of pocket to have this baby private. We had an awesome experience with public last time, I could not fault them - you even get your own room with a shared ensuite, and the care and the food was fantastic - so we'll do that again and I think I'll just downgrade my private health insurance since we wont be using the Obstetrics side of things now.

So as you can see, nothing very exciting going on here, anyway I'd better get off here and get my week organised! Enjoy your Sunday night!

Some news!

2011-05-21T15:00:00.000+10:00

Baby #2 is on the way!

This is part of the reason I’ve been absent from blogging (along with trying to get my work done in the short day nap Skye now takes) – so its nice to be able to share the news.

I’m 13 weeks along now, the due date is 23rd of November. This means there will be 23 months between Skye and this little jellybean, not a bad spacing I guess! We thought between 2 and 3 years would be good – just happened a little sooner than expected :)

We actually didn’t technically “try” to get pregnant this time. Since it took 18 months of very stressful and emotional “trying” to fall pregnant last time due to PCOS, well, I didn’t believe that it would happen quickly this time around – but it kinda did! I stopped the mini-pill around the end of November (after I stopped breastfeeding), and then we just adopted a “see what happens” attitude – and so it only really took 4 months this time!

A doctor did tell me once (when I was pregnant with Skye) that its common for PCOS to not be an issue the second time around – sort of like, your body knows what to do now, and just does it. Pretty cool, since I’m now 36 and technically my fertility levels aren’t so good anymore!

And so far, its been a pretty different pregnancy. Last time I sailed through the whole thing. No real morning sickness or nausea – except for a week or two of feeling a little bit off, and not being able to eat protein.

But this time around I’ve been feeling absolutely rotten since about 5 weeks – constant nausea (no actual vomiting though, thank goodness!) dizziness and light-headed, freezing cold all the time, exhausted, and BIG TIME food aversions – nothing but carbs, carbs, carbs lately! The sight and smell of meat cooking, even salads and some veggies just turned my stomach.

And changing a pooey nappy, with morning sickness, has been a bit of a struggle! I remember chopping up a roll of dog food a few weeks ago, and portioning it out into little baggies to pop in the fridge for the week – and then spending the next two or three days trying NOT to vomit whenever I was in the house – even though the dog food was in SEALED bags, in the CLOSED fridge, I could still smell it!

Anyway, hopefully the worst seems to be over now!

We had our 12 week scan on Monday, and it was still SO amazing to see our little creation on the screen! I remember when we first saw Skye in a scan, she was leaping around doing backflips, bouncing off the walls etc (a true indication of how she is now – she has ONE speed - FAST!) – well I was a bit worried about this little one because it barely seemed to be moving at all! But the heartbeat was strong and normal, and the sonographer said that it was just asleep. Fingers crossed that this little bean is a bit less hyperactive than his/her big sister! Everything is healthy and normal too!

Oh and in case you were wondering, no - we're not going to find out if its a boy or a girl. We like surprises :)

Exercise has been… um…. fairly limited. Ok, to be honest I haven’t been doing much – but now that I’m feeling human again, I’m getting back into it. The plan is to do 1-2 resistance training sessions per week, and 3-4 treadmill walks per week. Getting up early to do them hasn’t been nice though! Now that the middle-of-the-night toilet stops have eased, I’m feeling a bit more energetic too – so will continue this while I still feel able.

I started this pregnancy at 64kgs – 1kg heavier than my pre-preg weight last time. So far I haven’t gained anything yet, which is on a par with my last pregnancy. I gained 14kgs all up with Skye, so the goal again is to not gain more than 15kgs.

But even though the scales haven’t moved yet, OMG I FEEL HUGE! They say that you start showing much earlier with your second due to the fact that the uterus and other muscles are already pre-stretched, and that is certainly true in my case. I feel like I’ve already got a belly – my waist has disappeared, I feel so “round”.

Anyway, I will try to blog more frequently – rather than leaving it so long and then posting a mammoth and boring post! I also must get around to read some other blogs – its been a while, sorry guys!

Long time no blog

2011-05-06T19:39:00.000+10:00

Long time no post - AGAIN!

Its been so long I'm not even sure where to start!

Skye is now doing just one day nap, and has settled in pretty well now - usually sleeping around 1.5 hours over lunchtime. Unfortunately this has meant that its more difficult staying caught up with my day-job work, as well as my IBO work. I went through a bit of a rough patch a few weeks ago, where instead of getting up early to train, I was getting up early to work because I just wasn't getting enough done during the day.

I had a bit of a meltdown the other week, because I was also trying to get our BAS sorted (which took me a week - it was more complicated this time due to a recent vehicle purchase and sale) and other MYOB stuff which I find quite confusing at times. I am fairly new to MYOB (or bookkeeping of any kind) and I have a very limited understanding of accounting, so trying to run the business on my own in MYOB (with the guidance of our accountant) has been a bit of a nightmare! I have to keep asking stupid questions, and I KNOW they are stupid questions, but sometimes I just dont understand!

My little munchkin is growing up WAY too fast - 16 months now and she is just a joy. I love how she runs up to me now, climbs onto my lap and throws her arms around my neck and SQUEEEEZES a big hug. She makes us laugh every day. This is a beautiful age - she's too young for tantrums yet (although she's tried a couple) and she hasn't realised that she can disobey me yet!!

Piggy tails!

Climbing the slippery slide

LOVES her swing-set!

We had a nice, relaxing Easter break - it was nice to just have some family time with just the 3 of us. Skye also had her first ever taste of chocolate. She bit straight through the foil of a 17g egg (about the size of a chicken egg) and after we unwrapped it, she ended up eating about half of it. Here's a photo of the first taste...

Easter - her first ever taste of chocolate....

...and the after-effects!

The sugar-rush lasted for a while afterwards - with her running around the house yelling "Yippee!! Yippee!!" LOL!

We also had a morning trip up to Tamborine, and went for a bit of a bushwalk. She did pretty well and walked for about 1/3 of it on her own, before cracking it and having to be carried!

Anyway its taken me all day to write this post (!!) so I'll sign off now and go enjoy my Friday night!

Busy Days!

2011-04-03T17:05:00.000+10:00

Jeez I just cant get into the habit of regular blog posting these days! Things are going well here, just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day!

For the last two weeks Skye has decided that she doesn't need her second day sleep, so that has been making things a bit more challenging for mummy! I really rely on her having two day naps of about 1.5 hours each. If she doesn't do this then I struggle to get work and other stuff done.

BUT - she's getting older now (15 months - eeek!) and I knew the day was coming, when she'd transition to just having one day nap. Seems that day is pretty much here - sob! So even though she's only having one nap, I've been keeping her to the two-nap schedule. The afternoon nap is now just some "quiet time" in her cot, while mummy finishes up with her day job!

Lets hope that when she officially goes to one nap, that she does me a favour and has a 3 hour long one! (We can hope!)

The other week, Nicole came for a visit and gave me some instruction on how to do some kettlebell exercises, which was fantastic! Kettlebell swings are MUCH harder to do correctly than they look. Anyway, after Nicoles excellent lesson, I feel like I'm able to do them properly now - and can even tell when someone's doing them wrong on TV! I've been practicing them most days with my dumbbells (we haven't bought any KB's yet) and although the action is slightly different with dumbbells, I still feel like I'm targeting the right muscles. I've also been practicing some Turkish getups too :) Thank you Nicole!!!

As far as my challenge goes, well I guess I'm just taking things at my own pace at the moment. And I'm enjoying being able to feel a bit of room in my jeans and shorts these days too, so I've definitely shrunk a bit in the hips and butt department.

Other news – I got all my hair chopped off!! So I’m back to a short bob again, and went back to dark brown. Having it lighter just needed too much maintenance – I hate having regrowth roots. It feel so nice and shiny and sleek again. One of the benefits of having totally dead straight hair. I still tie it up most days, but its nice to be able to wear it out occasionally and feel like there is a bit of style there!

Oh yes - for Kelly and Kristy - regarding our treadmill... initially I was going to get a second-hand one on eBay (so many people seem to buy them and then they collect dust, so I figured it was a good place to start looking). But then we saw some brand new ones on eBay, starting from around $500. Did lots of research, and ended up going for one of the brand new ones for about $600-700 (had a longer belt, higher horsepower, inbuilt speakers, ipod plug etc). They were local to us, so hubby went and picked it up for me, saving us the $100 delivery fee. I have to say that I'm impressed with the great quality of this treadmill too, especially for the price! I LOVE eBay! If you want more details, let me know your email address and I'll send you some more info :)

Have a great week everyone!

Turning it around

2011-03-18T10:32:00.002+10:00

I’ve had a great fortnight. Something SO simple has turned it around for me. I’ve started logging food again. I swore I wasn’t going to get into that again, but its really helping me stay in control.

Now, I love a gadget. My favourite gadget is my iphone. I play with it all day. I even have to try to make a conscious effort NOT to play with it when hubby is home, because he gets the shits with me LOL!

So when I found a free iphone app last week called “My Fitness Pal” – I had to give it a go, and its awesome! So I’ve been logging my food, my cardio, strength training, calories burned (according to HRM), water intake, measurements, weight etc

Theres heaps of Aussie brand foods too (although even though I’ve switched it to metric, some of the portion sizes come up with ounces rather than grams… so I’ve had to use my Handy Convert app to figure that all out LOL!)

So I even had another whoosh on the scales last week, plus a very sensible weekend, no huge free meal, and I’m even starting to see those lines appear down either side of my stomach again – yay!

I’ve been doing weights and simple cardio – incline walking, and straight powerwalking. I’m trying to be kind to my foot and give it a chance to heal. Nicole has very kindly offered to come next week to teach me how to do kettlebell swings correctly, so I’m really looking forward to that!

I’ve also started doing a bit of Crossfit too. A friend of ours runs a Crossfit Studio, so he’s been giving me some tips and ideas. I’m just starting out with bodyweight stuff, but don’t worry – its not easy!! This week I did “Cindy” – which is 5 x pull ups (using rings, modified), 10 x pushups (modified) and 15 squats. Repeat for as many rounds as possible – I did 5 minutes to start with, and managed 5 ½ rounds… Caught my breath for a few minutes, then went again for another 5 minutes. This time did 6 rounds! I've had really sore leg and back DOMS from this session!

Then later this week I did 5 x DB one arm snatches, followed immediately by 5 x burpees. Repeat. For FIFTEEN minutes!! OMG I was dying at the end! (I hate burpees!!) I did 12 rounds in 13 minutes - yes I had two minutes to spare, but I needed to breathe instead!!

On in-between days I did treadmill walks (cant let that sparkly new treadmill go to waste now)

I'm feeling great, and looking forward to adding some kettlebells into the mix next week. I also went and got all my hair chopped off yesterday too, so I'm feeling like a new woman!

I’m still here

2011-03-04T10:53:00.002+10:00

… treading water.

Last week after “that comment”, I really knuckled down. I upped the ante with my workouts, I was particularly careful with my nutrition. I jogged more. I threw in some more interval training.

A few days later I had one of those magical “Whooshes” on the scales – hooray!!

Then my foot pain flared up again. And I had to scale it back again. Rest, and steady state cardio to nurse my poor plantar fascia on my right foot. Damn. More ice/heat/ice/heat therapy (which I should be doing multiple times a day, and I usually forget – oops!)

My podiatrist says it should settle down, but with my jogging its not getting a good chance to heal. The orthotics really help, but I need to be more patient and stop jumping in head first like I do, and doing too much too soon. I love interval jogging, but my feet dont like it.

So frustrating! But still hanging in there.

Last weekend sent me backwards though - a big free meal on Saturday night, and then a few friends came over on Sunday, and I DRANK! I'd already had quite a few big glasses of wine, and then some more friends turned up and we opened another bottle... and then polished that off too. I must have had 1.5 bottles of wine to myself. I haven't drunk that much in a LOOOOOONG time!

Needless to say I felt a bit yuk that night, and very dehydrated on Monday. But it was nice to catch up with friends and talk about stuff other than kids for a change!

I've been feeling a bit down about my progress (or lack of). My body seems intent on staying this size at the moment, and I'm just going to have to work even harder to bust through it. I need to stop having big free meals (a small one would do just as well) and I need to stop letting those little extras creep in.

Measurements day tomorrow!

End of week 6 - refocus & recommit

2011-02-20T14:07:00.003+10:00

Ok so it was measurements day again yesterday - and I went into it with some trepidation!

It was TOM so I wasn't expecting much - and I was right. Up 300g from last fortnight, grrr, and most measurements and skinfolds had little or no movement. 2cms lost. BAH!

Very annoying when you feel like you've been working your butt off. But anyway - time to refocus and recommit to my goals. I know that this is normal, so I'm not going to let it stop me.

I had a very negative moment on Friday when a relative said 5 little words that every woman dreads - "Have you put on weight?"

WHAT!!!!?????

Only a family member would dare say that to anyone, wouldn't they? It took all my strength to keep my composure and not let it get me down. I kept saying to myself "dont let it get to you, dont let it get to you..." over and over.

But of course it got to me. I even had a little cry over it to hubby when I got home.

Stupid thing is, I only have to look at my results over the last 6 weeks to know that this is NOT true, but these comments have such a way of deflating you, dont they?

Anyway, not letting this stop me - here's to having a fantastic fortnight, and I'm going to kick arse!!

Funny little habits

2011-02-13T09:59:00.002+10:00

Do you have any funny little "rituals" or idiosyncrasies?

Last week I discovered I have a “funny little habit” that I knew nothing about…

Now when I’m preparing dinner, I normally always have 2/3 of the plate covered in a big salad, and the final third is the meat. I’m normally the one who sets the plates down on the dining table, but one night last week I was still getting Skye’s plate organized, so hubby grabbed our two plates and set them down.

But when I went to sit down to eat, I looked at my plate and realised that it just didn’t look right. I stared at the plate for a few seconds before I realised that the plate was the wrong way round - I cant eat my dinner unless the salad is on the left, and the meat is on the right!! Once I turned the plate around, I was fine!

I once had a neighbour who counted steps. She knew exactly how many steps it took to go from her car, to her front door. How many steps from the front door to the kitchen bench, how many steps from her house to my front door etc.

I thought that was a bit funny, then I realised that lots of us have our own “funny little habits”.

My main “funny little habit” that I’ve always been conscious of is being worried about forgetting to shut or lock the door properly. I used to lock the front door, check it, get in the car, drive out the driveway, then spend the rest of the day worrying if I'd locked the door. I'd do that every day. When that got a bit much I developed a new ritual where I’d lock the door, check it (several times) and then scratch the back of my hand with my key. Then whenever I started to worry about not locking the door, I could look at the scratch on my hand and remember – YES I locked the door.

I’ve overcome that one a bit, but I still think about it. We've never been burgled or anything, so I'm not sure where that comes from!

My mum has a thing about wall picture frames having to hang straight. If she’s in your house, and a picture frame is hanging crooked, she cant sit still or concentrate until she gets up and straightens it.

I've heard that some people have to put their left shoe on, before their right. Or wont eat a certain coloured food etc

Do you have any funny little habits? Come on, share them with me so I don’t feel so strange!

The playgroup

2011-02-08T11:19:00.002+10:00

Today I ventured into the world of the unknown… the playgroup.

I've been wanting to take Skye for a while, but I kept putting it off.

I find it amusing that despite my roles in the workplace, which for years saw me flying around the country to stand up in front of a room full of strangers and train them to use a computer program, and then later as a sales rep covering the whole of South-East Queensland – where I was talking to strangers all day, and making small talk out of absolutely nothing, that I should be so daunted by a childrens playgroup!

Its a bit off-putting, entering a room full of mums and their kids, who all know each other. Me not knowing anyone. Wondering if they’ll be friendly, or keep to themselves etc.

But kids are amazing aren’t they? They aren’t shy, they just jump right in there and go play. They don’t worry about if someone will talk to them or not – they just march right in there and get down to business.

Grown ups on the other hand, worry about all sorts of silly things. Nobody likes to be the new girl!

Luckily this local playgroup is a small, relaxed one – only about 20 kids. Its raining today, so they had to stay indoors. But I was amazed at the huge variety of toys, and activities for the kids… a drawing table with lots of crayons and paper, a painting table with glitter and glue, a big padded play mat with a zillion toys, a reading section, a food table with lots of healthy kids foods (plus a few unhealthy too! I was quite pleased to see Skye reach for the strawberries and apple, and then pick up the piece of muffin and throw it on the floor!)

Skye had a blast! Plus I got to meet a couple of other mums who were also new today (but they were already friends) so it was a pretty nice morning. I think I’ll be going back.

Next on the agenda this week – Skye’s first official swimming lesson!

Weigh-In day

2011-02-05T10:42:00.002+10:00

Results after 4 weeks:

This fortnight has seen a small loss on the scales again – only 800g since last fortnight, and 1.5kgs in total. Bit disappointed in my measurements this fortnight too, as my waist, hips and chest stayed the same (and they are normally the big movers for me), and only had small losses from thighs, calves and biceps. Still, a 4cm loss is a 4cm loss and I am still happy that things are going in the right direction – albeit a bit slower than I’d like!

I am pleased with my skinfolds though – I’ve lost another 1.3% bodyfat (down 3.8% in 4 weeks) and a 8mm from all over (down 17mm since the start).

So although the scales and some measurements aren’t showing the progress that I’d like, I have to look at the big picture and know that the changes are slowly happening!

I’m actually quite impressed with myself this week, and really really chuffed that my determination and commitment is still there!

I had a bit of an “a-ha” moment yesterday when I was thinking that my progress felt slow compared to in the past, despite the hard work. I’m not sure if this is because I have Polycystic Ovaries – this was never a problem until we first started trying to get pregnant a few years ago and went off the pill. Actually – I never even knew about it before then. I was on the pill from the age of 18, until I was 32, and so consequently I never had any of the tell-tale signs or symptoms until I stopped taking the pill and tried to get pregnant (and even then, I don’t have MOST of the symptoms that go with PCOS, just the faulty ovaries) and being on the pill may have helped control the symptoms.

So PCOS is possibly hampering my fat-loss attempts, but in no way is it an excuse. But it might explain why my belly fat (which I’ve never had a problem with before) is a bit more stubborn now (or it could just be that I’m older now LOL!). I’ve been working hard and eating clean – the results will come but they might just take a little longer.

We had a night from hell with Skye last night – she woke up every hour and a half crying… I don’t know why, she NEVER does that. She seemed fine and if I went in to her, and picked her up, she would fall asleep on my shoulder. Put her back down and the crying started again. At 1am we brought her into our bed (which we’ve never done before) to try to get her to settle – BAD IDEA! She thought it was so much fun, and was too excited to sleep. So… back to her room at 2am – more crying… finally she went to sleep until she woke at 3.45am crying again… sigh…

Today I feel shattered, I don’t know how on earth I survived on so little sleep when she was a younger baby!

Where do you get your motivation?

2011-01-29T11:02:00.004+10:00

I have been flicking through some of my old fitness magazines recently… and it got me wondering – what do others do to keep themselves motivated?

I used to buy fitness magazines regularly. I have a huge stack of old Oxygens, Muscle and Fitness Hers, Fitness RX, and Womens Fitness and Health. I even bought a few running mags too, back in the day :)

I went “off” fitness magazines a few years ago though. I don’t know, I guess my priorities changed. At the time, I started buying pregnancy magazines instead! I have to say, although I still buy the occasional fitness magazine here and there (or have a flick through them at the newsagent), they just don’t do it for me anymore, or else they are not what they used to be. I suspect it’s a bit of both.

So what do you use to give yourself that extra kick of motivation?

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I've had an ok week - not perfect by any means. Everything was going well, but on Australia Day I decided to blow off my training in favour of a sleep in, and then a day down the Gold Coast. We had other stuff to do down there, so only spent about half an hour on the beach (little miss was overdue for a sleep by then, but she loved the water!) and then spent over an hour stuck in traffic trying to get home... grrr!! All the while Skye was grizzling and crying in the backseat... enough to set your teeth on edge!

I kept my food clean though (taking my own chicken salad and water with me) but then treated myself to a glass of wine to celebrate Australia Day (and because of the stress of listening to a screaming child in the car for an hour LOL!). Back on track with training on Thursday morning though - except I'm now a day behind - oh well.

Feeling really good and starting to see some definition coming back in my upper arms which is nice.

Yesterday was my birthday (thank you to everyone for your kind emails, texts and FB messages!) and I still dragged my butt out of bed at 5am for an hours cardio. The older I get, the more I begin to realise that its just another day. Bit scary to think that I'm 36 now - eeek!

So last night we had take-away chinese for dinner and I had a few glasses of wine, which I have to admit I didn't enjoy as much as I was expecting. Then we watched a movie - 127 Hours - which I've been wanting to see for a while now. (About the American mountain climber Aron Ralston who got his right arm trapped by a boulder, and after 5 days had to amputate his own arm in order to survive) It was quite harrowing but fascinating to watch at the same time.

Anyway, thats it for another week. Time to go do some housework!

Weigh in day

2011-01-22T16:34:00.002+10:00

Week 2 is going well!

I woke up on Wednesday morning with a headache, but dragged myself out of bed anyway and pushed through some weights. Thursday morning I had scheduled in some longer, lower intensity cardio, but woke up with another headache – so I stayed in bed!

Felt a little bit guilty, but I reasoned with myself that it doesn’t matter WHEN I do these sessions through the week, just as long as they get done.

Friday morning after another weights session, Skye decided that 6am was a good time to wake up (normally she waits until at least 6.30 – 7am), after I’d clocked up a huge 3 minutes on the treadmill… bugger! Never mind, when hubby came home that afternoon he was on child-minding duties while I got my treaddie session done.

I finally went to the Athletes Foot on Thursday too and got myself fitted for some running shoes more suited to my foot problems and pronation. Now that my orthotics are in my new shoes, they have a whole different feel to when they were in my old shoes… definitely going to take some wearing in!

This morning was my fortnightly weigh and measure day. Wasn't expecting much change in the number on the scales because TTOTM arrived unexpectedly through the week. Feeling very flabby through the tummy area (I’ve never carried a lot of fat through the tummy before, I’ve always been a pear shape with a bigger butt and thighs – but pregnancy seems to have changed that – or else its age creeping up on me!)

Anyway, on the scales I've only shed 300g, however I was quite pleased to see that I've lost 8cms all up, and am down 2.5% bodyfat! I use digital calipers, so it was nice to see that I've also lost 9mm in two weeks too.

Very much looking forward to seeing those numbers drop even further in the coming weeks.

In other news, I have to go to the dentist on Monday and have a crown put on a cracked molar... eeeek! Really NOT looking forward to that! Hope its not too scary!

Week 1 Update

2011-01-17T21:18:00.002+10:00

I’ve spent the last week watching the unfolding dramas in Queensland with horror – as I’m sure everyone has. We are a fair way from the flood affected areas, however I’ve grown up around Brisbane and its suburbs, and to watch so many familiar areas go under water, and then re-emerge covered in slimy, stinky mud has just been crazy. I’ve also spent a lot of time in Toowoomba, Warwick and the Lockyer Valley in the last few years as a sales rep and its been pretty unbelievable to see the devastation in those familiar streets too. My heart goes out to all those who’ve lost lives, and who’ve lost everything.

Despite being glued to the TV last week, I’ve been doing great with my 12 week challenge. Last week I completed 3 weights sessions and 5 cardio sessions. I have to do this at 5am while Skye is still asleep – otherwise there is no way on earth I’d get it done!

Food has been pretty good – I had one day where I forget to eat a meal, and I went a little overboard on Saturday night with a free meal (lesson learned!), but all up its been really easy. I’m really enjoying each and every meal I have, which I’m very happy about!

My major challenge last week was drinking enough water. I’ve averaged around 2 litres each day, but need to work on that. I’ve now got reminders going off (rather annoyingly!) on my iphone so I’ve been doing better the last few days.

My poor little poppet was due for her 12 month vaccinations last Tuesday, but she woke up that morning with a high temperature and a severe case of the miseries… I took her to the docs appointment anyway, but they sent us away and wouldn’t do the vaccination until she was better. Panadol helped temporarily, but she had a temp of 38.8C that night which was a little worrying for me! It was our first fever, and she was off-colour and a very upset little camper for a few days – she’s not been sick before so it was a new experience for both of us! She’s fine now, and unfortunately had her vaccination today :( lots of tears, but that’s it now for another 6 months.

(Just on this: I have been so worried about getting this MMR needle done since she was born! I just worry so much about the autism link. I KNOW its been disproved, but once the idea is there, its really hard to NOT think about it)

I got my custom orthotics on Friday. Podiatrist cautioned me to go slow with them – wear them in, wear them around the house – increase by half an hour every day etc. He suggested I don’t actually exercise in them for a week, and certainly don’t run for a few weeks.

So what did I do? I wore them in my shoes around for a few hours on Saturday, they felt fine so I went for a big hilly powerwalk with Elke on Sunday.

DUMB move.

Now I have extremely painful shin splints, and my right arch is aching. GAH!

This morning after weights I was struggling to walk on the treadmill at 6km/hour because of how sore my shins were. Stupid stupid girl!

Now I’m going to have to use my much hated cross trainer while I try to let my shins have a rest :(

I've also got to get myself some better quality runners - podiatrists orders!

Ok – here’s to another good week!

Changes

2011-01-10T12:12:00.002+10:00

Over the last 6 months I’ve come to a few realizations about myself.

I’ve realised that for me - simply WANTING to lose bodyfat is not enough

Going through the motions is not enough

Halfhearted planning is not enough

Having a vague general idea of what I want to achieve is not enough

Doing it SOME OF THE TIME is not enough

Over the last 6 months I’ve started and stopped my fitness endeavours a number of times, never quite getting anywhere. Or taking two steps forward, only to take two steps back a few weeks later. Getting frustrated, and making excuses, then feeling like a failure.

Not having a plan of attack doesn’t work for me. I’m no good at just “winging it”.

Actually that’s probably not quite true – when I was fit, when I was working out every day (and intensely) and keeping my nutrition pretty clean apart from a couple of free meals each week, I WAS good at just "winging it". I think I had my metabolism in a really good place for a few years there, I had a little muscle, and I was able to experiment with things here and there – enjoy a few glasses of wine each week, and be able to maintain and feel happy with myself.

The trouble is, for some reason I thought I could just start doing that again (after a year and a half of NOT doing that, during pregnancy and beyond). And unfortunately, the old bod isn’t what it used to be!

So I’ve decided I need to get right back to basics and do a 12 week challenge. I’ve been working on a few things – the first thing being my headspace. Like a lot of us, I have some self-sabotage issues that I am currently addressing. I have some negative self-talk that I am addressing.

I have started using a goal/inspiration workbook again, and I’m in the process of creating an inspiration poster (which will be situated on the wall right beside my computer in the study – seeing as I spend so much time here!). I have motivational quotes stuck around the house in key locations (on the fridge and inside the pantry door works for me!) I have my goals written down where I can read them every day. I have had hubby take some ‘before’ photos, and done my stats and measurements, and will be keeping track of them regularly in my inspiration workbook. I have a plan of attack, and it feels good.

This is what I did when I first started out on my fitness journey, and it’s the best way I know to keep me focused on my goals. Today is day 1 and I’m feeling positive and inspired! Here's to an awesome start to 2011!

Happy New Year!

2011-01-06T16:10:00.002+10:00

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you all had a lovely Christmas break :)

I'm on holidays from my "day job" until the 17th, which has been awesome - apart from the rain! Its hard enough trying to keep a one year old entertained in this constant wet weather, I dread to think how other mums manage it with older kids.

Our Christmas was a bit of a bummer this year unfortunately. Our border collie X Keeshond decided to go for a wander on Christmas Eve. Hubby was mowing the lawn and had left the front gate open as he was going in and out. I didn't realise, and let Elke out to do her business... half an hour later I went outside and said "where's Elke?"... and that sparked 2 days of frantic searching, letterbox dropping, ringing the pounds and local vets, doorknocking, driving around the streets, printing posters (and trying to keep them waterproof in the neverending rain!)...

When she still wasnt home by that night, well I was pretty distraught. Christmas Day was a very emotional one for us. I feel sorry for Skye that our hearts weren't in it this year - we were trying to get excited about opening her presents, but with tears pouring down our faces :(
We hosted Christmas lunch, but I felt like I had to apologise to everyone because the meal was a disaster, green veggies overcooked and sloppy, meat gone cold, roast spuds started to burn etc because I wasn't able to concentrate properly.

On Boxing Day morning hubby went to put some rubbish out in the wheelie bin, turned around and there was Elke, safe and well (and completely dry too, despite the fact that it was thundering down with rain at the time!). Needless to say, he scooped her up inside and we both dived on her and hugged her silly - a HUGE relief! I guess we'll never know where she was - she had a very upset tummy for a few days, and was a bit smelly, but other than that she seems fine - just VERY clingy (and constantly underfoot) since she came home.

I guess you can tell I get a tad emotional about my pets LOL! I have heard of plenty of people whose pets fall by the wayside once they have a child. But I can assure you that is not the case in this household. My family means the world to me, and that includes the dog and cat.

Apart from that drama, Skye's first Christmas was good - she was completely bewildered of course and had no clue what was going on, but she seemed to enjoy having all the family around so she could show off! Seems that babies just love to be the centre of attention!

We also had Skye's first birthday party on Monday, which was really good - she had a great time running around with the other toddlers, they all stole each others sippy cups hehehe (somebody elses water obviously tastes better than their own LOL!) and generally ran around having a great time :) She had her very first cupcake too, and liked it so much that she stole half of one from her friend Georgia!

This week I have been steadily working away on my fitness goals for the next few months, and working through some mental roadblocks too. I feel a lot more pumped and ready to be fit and healthy again. Looking forward to picking up my orthotics from my podiatrist next week too, so I should be able to work up to running again without pain.

Anyway thats me up to date so far. Really looking forward to having an awesome 2011!

Update and Merry Christmas!

2010-12-21T05:54:00.002+10:00

Things are chugging along here nicely - I've just been doing my thing, getting up every morning and jumping on the treadmill... have not got on the scales for a few weeks, mostly because I cant be bothered at the moment - but I got on them this morning and was surprised to see it much lower than expected! Yay!

One drawback of my lovely treadmill has been the return of plantar fasciitis. I used to suffer from this before I was pregnant - I think it came about from wearing sky-high-heels every day to work, coupled with running, and having high arches. Anyway, it went away while I was pregnant and I haven't thought about it much since. I thought that pregnancy had cured it! But I started jogging regularly again, and within 24 hours of that first treadmill jog, I was waking up with heel pain and a burning sensation in my arch on my right foot.

I kept up the jogging for a few days, but when I started waking up in the middle of the night with foot and toe cramps, well I had to tone it back a bit. So its been powerwalking and incline walking + foot strapping for me since then. I'm going to see the podiatrist tomorrow so hopefully we can get it treated, get some custom orthotics and (fingers crossed) I'll be able to jog again!

Anyway, we are VERY much looking forward to our little munchkins first Christmas, and her first birthday next Thursday! I cant believe my little girl is almost ONE! Obvioulsy she hasn't a clue whats going on, and everyone else is looking forward to just watching her face on Christmas morning :) and watch her play with the wrapping paper instead of the presents lol. She has a cute little outfit to wear on Christmas day too of course!

Its hubbys' birthday today, so she can help daddy open his presents tonight and help him blow out the candle on his cake - good practice for next week!

December for our families brings many, many birthdays. We have a total of 8 birthdays in December, accross 2 families - as well as mum and dads anniversary, plus Christmas... busy time of year! Anyway...

Wishing you all a lovely Christmas - hope Santa visits you all and everyone enjoys some relaxing time with family and friends! Bye for now!

My new treadmill

2010-12-09T15:08:00.006+10:00

Last Friday, Santa paid me an early visit! I got a treadmill!

The treadmill was in aid of cheering me up - well, in giving me the "tools" to cheer myself up. I've been feeling very... um... FLAT... lately. Quite down on myself - struggling to find ANY "me" time at all these days.

While working part-time from home is awesome, it does take some getting used to. I've been feeling a bit daggy because I can be working while wearing my slippers, or with wet hair and no make-up. Or hair not done (can you call pulling your hair into a rough, unbrushed ponytail "done"?). It takes some effort to make an effort!

I also have to make an effort to eat, because I often cant be bothered! I always thought it would be great to be home at lunchtime because you could eat "whatever you wanted". But the reality seems to be that you just dont bother, or pick at whatever your child doesn't eat. Or when I take Skye out when she wakes up, typically I get her food organised to take with us, but completely forget about myself! So by the time I get home I'm starving...

So for the last two weeks I've been super organised - cooking up big batches of things on weekends so that I've got meals ready for the week - just like I did when I was working full time.

I've also been using the new treadmill almost every day - slowly building up the fitness levels again! I've been getting up at 5am to fit my training in - although yesterday after doing some weights, I only got 5 mins done on the treadmill before Skye decided that 5.45am was the time to wake up... bugger!

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Anyway - other stuff - I'm really looking forward to Christmas this year! Last year we cancelled Christmas, since I was 9 months pregnant and just over everything LOL! So we are making up for it this year - BIG TIME! We're hosting lunch this year - both hubbys family and mine are coming. No doubt Skye will be getting spoiled rotten (even though we all said we wouldn't!). I went and collected Skye's Christmas layby on Wednesday - I did the layby back in July I think, so I had completely forgotten what I'd bought!

For the last few weeks I've been mentally planning the Christmas meal - I'm going to do a glazed ham this year (never done one before), plus a roast beef I think. Also having roast spuds, maple glazed roast sweet potato, individual stuffing balls, and green vege. Dessert might be a macadamia and white chocolate Ice Cream cake... haven't decided yet! (Both our families are English, so we like the traditional dinner, as opposed to the cold seafood buffet, or BBQ etc)

Ok - enough about food! Have a great weekend everyone!

Bored with my hair

2010-11-25T21:39:00.007+10:00

I've been pretty sedate with my hair for the last few years. I used to do really cool, different things with my hair, which I've blogged about in the past. One month I'd have black hair, then the next I'd decide I wanted to be platinum blonde and spend hours at the hairdressers (going from black to blonde was not my smartest move - took FOREVER!).

Once upon a time I had a really cool hairdresser who I went to see every 6-8 weeks. She'd clip pictures out of magazines for when I came in, and say "I though we might do something like this?" and I'd just go with the flow - whatever she wanted to do, cut, colour, or extensions - she did! I loved it, and she liked that I just let her do whatever.

I've had blue stripes, blue hair extensions, lovely thick slashes of purple through my hair, swatches of bright red, a full head of black, or burgundy, or blonde or red hair... long, short, and even WAY-TOO-SHORT - so short it made me cry because it looked horrible LOL!

Hubby used to love the changes cos he reckoned he got a different girlfriend every couple of months. People at work used to ask me if I did it "because of a dare or something"...

But I've been toning it down for the last couple of years. Not deliberately. But its been happening nonetheless. I still had my purple stripe for the last few years, even had it at my wedding. But a few months ago I coloured over it. Now I'm dark brown all over. Hairstyle is now non-descript. Feeling rather blah actually, all I do is tie it up in a ponytail...

And now I'm taking it one step further - I'm actually planning on going back to my NATURAL colour (whatever the hell it is LOL!) - I'm going back to mousey-brown! Well maybe not mousey, but yes I'm getting my hairdresser friend to get me to a light/medium brown. The problem is I've got years of colour build up in my hair, so its going to take some time, over a number of visits to get it right. It started on Saturday with streaks... yes the dreaded streak cap came out.

Here is the result so far. Its a bit coppery because of the camera flash - its not quite that orange in real life:

But as you can see the ends are still dark. Its a work in progress - will post more pics as the transformation happens over the coming months!

Arachnophobia

2010-11-19T08:06:00.008+10:00

One day last week when I jumped in the shower, I turned around and there was a decent size Huntsman spider sharing the shower with me. *Shudder* I HATE spiders!

Needless to say it was the shortest shower ever, I jumped out and grabbed the nearest can of insect spray and doused that sucker as much as I could. I had to leave it there too, I was too squeamish to collect the body! Poor hubby had to clean it up when he got home!

All day I kept expecting more spiders to leap out at me... before I sat down to work I checked under the desk, every time I walked into another room I scanned the ceilings etc. But the worst was when I went to bed. Hubby went to bed about an hour before me so he was well asleep by the time I crept in.

Now I have always hated spiders. I can handle the little ones no problems, but anything bigger than about a 50c piece is enough to send me running. I'm so arachnophobic that I cant even look at them on TV, or in a book. If its on TV, I have to turn away, and ask hubby to tell me when its gone. Have you noticed in the toy catalogues lately there seems to be some kind of toy tarantula for boys? Yep, I flick past that page real quick cos I cant even look at it.

So when I went to bed that night I was pretty creeped out. I kept imagining spiders on the doona that any moment were just about to run across my face - eeek! So when hubby (who I thought was sound asleep) suddenly LEAPT out of bed, ran across the room, turned on the light and turned around looking back at the bed, terrified, well I sprang out of bed too and joined him - heart pounding!

"Whats wrong, what is it??" I asked him.

He didn't answer, just kept looking at the bed, then at me, then around the side of the bed, then back at me, with this wild look in his eyes...

Then he said "Oh, must have been a dream" and switched the light off and went back to bed!

I quizzed him further. Apparently a huge, hairy spider X scorpion had just crawled over him, and had run on top of me. He said "I hope it was a dream, cos that sucker was a FOOT long!"

He was asleep within minutes. Needless to say, I was awake for hours after that.

(I think he's been watching too many episodes of Man vs Wild! He's had dreams like this before, but he's never actually leaped out of bed before LOL)

Nicknames

2010-11-08T21:13:00.002+10:00

Did your parents have a nickname or pet name for you as a kid?

My mum had several for me - one was "min"... short for "mini" (as in a mini person, little one). Another one I was never particularly fond of was "Mu". Short for "Muriel" - my paternal grandmothers name!

She has never ever called me "Hil" - which is what most other people call me. She doesn't like people calling me "Hil" - saying that "If I'd wanted people to call you that, then thats what I'd have named you!" LOL!

Anyway - when we named Skye, of course we tried to think of how the name could be shortened or lengthened, or how it could be made fun of!

Hubby really wanted to also come up with a good pet name - so far the one he mainly sticks with is "Skyesie-Wysie". His niece has a good pet name - "Spud" - he has called her that since she was a baby (she's now 15) and its his special name for her. She got quite offended when he accidentally called Skye "Spud" once!

Lately we've been calling Skye "Speedy" because of the way she crawls at top speed sometimes! I also call her "Freddie" - this is because whenever I pick her up, or get ready to take her somewhere, I always say "Ready Freddie?" and its just stuck :)

Isn't this a strange obsession that we humans have with names? Even our pets have "pet" names! Elke has always been "Grub" to me - hubby calls her "Elke-Schmelkie". Connor the cat is "Connor-Bear" etc...

Anyway, just random ramblings for a Monday night!

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Other stuff - I've been pretty consistent with training and cleaner nutrition for a couple of weeks now, so I'm feeling pretty good - not seeing much changes yet but I know that it will happen. Still not drinking enough water though! Even though I work from home, I have a pretty good weekday routine happening - I get up at 5.30am now in order to train - a couple of days a week I have a sleep in until Skye wakes (usually around 6.30-7am) and take her and Elke for a powerwalk around 9am instead.

Weekends are still a challenge, since hubby is home my routine is all out of whack - but I'm getting there.

Skye took her first steps last Monday, which was very exciting, and she was absolutely stoked with herself LOL! I've got to start thinking about planning her first birthday too - need to start practising making cupcakes I think. We cant wait for Christmas this year too, although I'm wondering how I'm going to be able to put a tree up without her destroying it! This year is just going way too fast.

Anyway, I'd better get off the computer - early start tomorrow :)

Photos

2010-10-23T15:36:00.012+10:00

Lots been happening, still busy as ever - still finding it a bit tough to fit everything in, working from home is FANTASTIC, but its a big juggle to get everything else done!

This weekend we had the first casualty from Cyclone Skye - the laptop power cable is now mysterioulsy broken and the laptop wont charge. We've had to send it away to the manufacturer to be fixed - we only got it in June!!

I have to say, I never realised that having a child would be so much fun! I'm just so so so in love with our little munchkin. She has me in stitches 10 times a day, she's so funny! I love the little 'words' she comes out with - the latest 'words' being repeated over and over is "pitch-oom, pitch-oom, pitch-oom" - endlessly... no idea what she thinks she's saying, but she says it with such determination, and she thinks that shes hilarious!

I'm trying to really appreciate the here and now - I'm perfectly aware that it wont be long before she's having tantrums, saying "NO"! constantly and being a right little monster. But for now, she pretty much does what I want her to and thinks I'm the greatest, she cant talk back yet, and hasn't really figured out that she can assert her own authority yet! (Except when I'm trying to change her nappy - there is no keeping her still, the second the nappy is off, she's away! Its extremely difficult to change her bum these days, I just wish she'd stay still long enough!)

Its so lovely to have someone idolise you so much, its so hard to imagine that one day she'll be rolling her eyes at me when she's a teenager!

She's been crawling and pulling herself up for a few months now, but in the last week she's started to let go of things and can stand without holding onto anything for a few seconds. I think the problem is that she's more interested in jumping up and down than actually walking at the moment!

A few picture updates. After seeing a few fellow bloggers, and Facebook friends using the iphone Hipstamatic app, I decided to get it myself and have a bit of a play... and I'm LOVING it!

Here's a few that I've taken recently:

The beanbag is the latest "toy" - she loves to stand beside it, and then throw herself onto it with a big squeal! Even better if mummy or daddy are ready in waiting beside her for a tickle attack!

Now that the weather is warmer, the fireplace is not in use so Skye's been exploring the area a little. The other day I came out of the kitchen to find her STANDING on top of the brickwork... oh no, the little monster has starting CLIMBING on things!

So I took a quick photo, and THEN told her off! LOL!

Helping mummy with the vacuuming - bet she wont be doing this as a teenager either! She LOVES the vacuum - she follows me around the house, not afraid of the noise at all. She seems quite fascinated by it.

My cheeky grin!

Elke... waiting patiently for me to pick up the ball at her feet... She never, EVER tires of this game...

My other beautiful girl...

Busy busy busy

2010-10-02T11:37:00.002+10:00

Well things just seem to be getting busier around here!

I have been very slack with visiting and commenting on blogs lately (sorry!) - I still read blogs (mostly on my iphone - but its too hard to comment from there, I've tried a few times but my comment always disappears so I've given up!) but havent had much chance to read and comment properly lately.

One reason is that I'm now employed again! I approached my work about the possibility of working from home, and they have very kindly found me something that I can do... just 10-12 hours a week at this stage, which is great. But it means that when Skye is asleep, I need to be working. Its great because it gives me the freedom to be a "stay at home mum", but also bring in some income too. But its challenging too - because as we all know, often babies dont sleep when they are supposed to!

Of course I'm still working as a feedback coach for IBO too, which I also do when Skye is asleep, or when hubby gets home. Plus running around after my little crawling monster while she's awake and trying to keep her out of trouble, and doing all the other "mum" and "wifey" things, and still trying to get out of the house a few times a week so that I dont go stir-crazy!

So, blog has been a bit neglected! Admittedly, so has training this week as I've tried to get myself organised. My poor brain is struggling to have to think so much again, and I've got so much on my mind that I'm struggling to fall asleep at night.

So anyway, just a short update today - hope to get back on here a bit more often!

More on sleep

2010-09-22T14:43:00.002+10:00

Well we are finally getting some good sleep in this house! For the last week we've been using a Baltic Amber Teething Necklace, and despite my skepticism, things definitely seem to be different... better. I did a bit of internet research before I bought one (initially I thought that it was for chewing on! No - its for wearing only, the amber releases oils into the skin, which supposedly has a healing, soothing effect). I was concerned that Skye might try to start chewing on it, or tugging on it, but she doesn't even notice that she's got it on - she just accepts it like its an item of clothing. Its short enough so that she cant see it, and it has a knot in between each small bead so that if it did break, only one bead is lost or has the chance of scattering. Its also got a plastic clasp which is designed to break under pressure, in case it gets caught on anything. I ended up getting ours on eBay!

So even though I bought it as a "teething necklace", it seems to be helping Skye stay asleep - a nice bonus! All of a sudden she seems to be able to self-settle - yes she's still waking, but she doesn't need me to help her back to sleep any more (touch wood!) The first few nights, she was still waking once or twice a night, having a little whinge, but after a minute or two she'd go back to sleep. The last few nights she's gone to bed around 7.30pm, and I dont hear a murmour until about 5am, when she has a little chat to herself for a while, then sleeps again until much later in the morning. On Saturday we had to go in to wake her at 8am - unheard of!!

******************************************************************

I have to admit, this kid cracks me up! Her latest thing is this HUGE fake smile LOL! She has figured out that if she smiles at people, they pay attention to her and say nice things to her. So if we're at the shops and I've got her sitting in the trolley, she carefully watches people as we go past (to the point of craning her neck to see them as they go by)... and the second that somebody looks at her, she instantly puts on this massive smile - all gums and teeth on display, eyes crinkled up etc (she smiles so hard its a wonder her face doesn't hurt) - the minute they look away, or if they dont notice her, the smile instantly drops off and she's looking for her next "victim" LOL!!

She does the same with the camera - if she notices the camera on her she stops what she's doing and smiles hehehe... hmmmm, wonder where she gets that from??!!

She's now crawling all over the house, getting more adventurous - exploring the house without me. She'll happily play on the kitchen floor with a few Tupperware containers and plastic spoons while I cook. Or stand up holding onto my legs. She falls over and hits her head almost daily too - to the point where I'm a bit concerned about taking her out in public because of the number of bruises on her forehead, I worry about what people might think!

Jogging again

2010-09-15T16:26:00.002+10:00

Lately, I've been feeling like I want to jog. I'm not a natural runner, and I haven't run since before I was pregnant. But in the last few weeks, I felt the urge to get jogging for some reason.

We have a cross trainer at home, which I really dislike using. I think there is something wrong with it because even on the lowest level (1), its so hard to get moving! Level 1 feels like a level 10. Maybe the tension needs adjusting, but its electric, so I'm not sure how you do that.

Anyway - I've been pondering HOW I'm going to be able to go for a jog. I cant really take Skye with me, because its too hilly where I live to be pushing a stroller AND jog at the same time, and there aren't even any footpaths - so that option is out. I cant go early in the morning because she wakes around 5-5.30am, still dark outside before then. I cant really go when hubby gets home from work, because by then its pretty much time for me to start dinner.

So yesterday I did the only thing I could think of - while Skye had her morning nap, I went for a jog out in the backyard . Its 90 metres from our back fence to our front fence - with a slight upward slope. I managed to jog up and back 4 times before stopping to gasp for breath LOL! Heart rate was through the roof too - then I continued on, combining jogging with walking - managed about 20 minutes before I collapsed in a heap. I ended up jogging UP the slope and walking down it, because halfway through, I suddenly remembered that jogging downhill always gives me shin splints.

Today I'm limping, as I expected. My calves are CAINED, and my shins aren't too happy either - but it felt so GOOOOOD! I loved seeing my beetroot red face in the mirror afterwards - been a long time since I worked so hard - even felt a bit nauseous for a while afterwards. Elke (the dog) had so much fun chasing me back and forth too :)

Cant wait to do it again now!

One year ago today...

2010-09-03T10:36:00.007+10:00

One year ago today we said goodbye to our beautiful, fluffy boy Shavez.

So much has happened in a year. We still think of him all the time, and talk about him quite often. He was one of a kind, such a huge character - there will never be another one like him. I just wish that Skye had been able to meet her big "brother".

Is it normal to still be so sad over losing a pet, a year later? I look at photos of him and still crumple into tears.

On the 4th of September, 2009

Our best mate passed away.

The tears I shed

weigh down like lead

on my heart -

Unto this day.

RIP big fella... miss you...

More sleep please...

2010-09-01T10:22:00.005+10:00

Feeling good and on track at the moment after a bit of a tough fortnight! I have to admit that I dropped the ball a little with regards to my own health and fitness. No excuses, I know! But the reason is because of sleep deprivation.

Now I always thought that once a baby learned to sleep through the night, they KEPT doing it. Boy has that belief been well and truly shattered! We have always swaddled Skye for sleeps, and she sleeps great while wrapped (except for that horror 6 weeks when she was 4 months old). I was happy to keep wrapping her except for the fact that she started rolling over in her sleep, and waking up on her tummy with her arms pinned to her sides - well naturally she didn't like it and screamed and grizzled until she was 'rescued'.

So we started on the journey of re-training her to sleep unwrapped... and its been a bit challenging! We did it gradually, but she started waking 3-4 times a night again, and needing help to get back to sleep... I'd forgotten how draining it can be to get by on such small amounts of sleep!

Anyway, last night she slept from 7pm til 4.45am - so not too bad - fingers crossed she's getting the hang of it now :)

But I would like to know how you get a baby to sleep til 7am?? Skye thinks that by 5-5.30am its time to get up and start the day, and actually I'd even take 6am at this stage, that would be a sleep in! We have tried letting her cry it out (many times)- anywhere from 3-4am - but generally she will just grizzle and whinge for 1-2 hours non-stop, until one of us gets the shits and gets up! She's just got this internal clock that says 5-5.30am is when the day starts...

But anyway - back on track this week, no more excuses.

I'm also trying to find a protein powder that I can use while breastfeeding - I need one with no artificial sweeteners (including Sucralose) because I'm allergic to them - I used to use All Natural Whey, which is sweetened with Stevia, but it also has 1000mg of L-Glutamine per serve, which has not been tested as safe to use when breastfeeding... if anyone has any ideas I'd be really grateful!

My little one is 35 weeks old now - 8 months! Where is the year going???

Feelings, and Frights

2010-08-20T09:35:00.003+10:00

I really cant get over how strongly maternal I feel now. I used to never be interested in kids. I was the one who, when colleagues brought their babies in to work for everyone to see, I would hide in my office and avoid them like the plague. If someone handed me a baby, it would start screaming. I never even noticed kids except when they were being annoying!

These days I notice babies everywhere. When I was pregnant, I was amazed at how many strangers would smile at me and ask about my pregnancy. Now I’m the one smiling at pregnant ladies at the shops, and talking to complete strangers about babies. I actually GAWK at newborn babies, with a sort-of wistful smile on my face, and tell whoever I’m with to look too… as in “LOOK at that baby!” (hubby finds it particularly strange I think, seeing as how all my adult life I swore I was never having kids)

Last week we had a bit of a fright. I’d put Skye down on the carpet in our walk in robe, and she was busy looking at her reflection in the mirror on the sliding door. I was sitting right beside her, but when I wasn't looking she must have picked something up off the carpet, because I could see her sort of chewing on something, but when I looked in her mouth I couldn’t see anything. If I had have seen it before it went in her gob, I would have assumed it was a blade of grass – wrong…

A minute later she started choking – I grabbed her and shoved my finger down her throat as quick as I could and felt around – felt something, first impression was “oh my god it’s a staple!”… but I grabbed it (pushing it against the side of her windpipe to get it out) and dragged it out with one finger. A small streak of blood came out too. It was some kind of metal shaving – THEN I freaked! Kept shoving my finger back down her throat to see if there was any more in there. She kept screaming – in fright I think. This shaving must have got walked in on one of our shoes, and buggered if I know where she found it, as the floor had been vacuumed the day before.

Afterwards I hugged her and hugged and didn’t let her go for ages. I think I was still shaking 2 hours later. She is just SO precious, and I'm so worried about something happening to her. I spoke to my mum about it, and she says that its just that natural maternal instinct to want to protect your child coming through.

I kept looking at this metal shaving, which really did look like a blade of black grass, except it was thin black metal. I kept thinking "What if" - what if some of it had broken off and gone down into her stomach. I had visions of it tearing right through her intestines, her waking up screaming with blood coming out the other end etc. I was SO upset and so worried… I didn't sleep properly for a few days from worrying about it - but she seems ok. She was fine within about 10 minutes. Hubby says I gotta stop thinking about what could have happened, and instead focus on the fact that I WAS there, and that she's fine.

Since then I see danger just about EVERYWHERE! But I'm really trying not to let fear take over. She has started crawling, and within a few days of crawling, she started pulling herself up on any available piece of furniture too - so now she's standing and cruising along while holding on to things. I cant let her out of my sight for a minute or else she's up to mischief and into everything!

I've never been an overly neat and tidy person, I'm not a clean-freak - but having a little one crawling around is really making me much tidier - vacuuming once a week doesn't cut it anymore!

Pets

2010-08-09T14:53:00.007+10:00

On Friday it was Elke’s 7th birthday (our Border Collie cross Keeshond) – so I made sure I gave her lots of cuddles, and she had a great big bone for breakfast too :)

When Skye came along I was determined not to neglect our pets, since they really do mean the world to me.

.
Sure, I certainly have a lot less time to devote to Elke and Connor the cat, but I still consider them to be my kids too – its just they are a little lower in the pecking order these days. My cat still sits on my lap at night after Skye has gone to bed, and Elke is probably getting more attention now than she ever did before, with walks, frisbee throwing, and the fact that she is indoors with me 24/7 these days.

Elke is a little 'miffed' that there's another little princess in the house now, but she's pretty good with her. Mind you - I would NEVER leave them alone together. Elke is starting to wake up to the fact that a baby drops food everywhere, so she hangs around a bit more now and when Skye's moved away Elke swoops in and hoovers up the crumbs :) But when Skye decides she wants to give Elke a pat, Elke takes the bolt!

Connor was totally aloof when Skye first arrived. He merely came up and gave her a sniff, and walked away and ignored her like a good Siamese cat should. However in the last couple of months he's started to get more interested in her, and even venturing in for a pat now and then. I'm trying to teach Skye the meaning of the word "GENTLE" when she pats him, but without luck so far! She grabs chunks of fur and gives it a good tug - and he happily lies there purring away!

I think Connor is pretty safe with her though, he is 13 years old now, and his teeth are so blunt that he cant break the skin if he bites, and he has long since stopped sharpening his claws (I have to cut them for him, lazy bugger!)

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We had a bonfire night here on Saturday night, along with a BBQ and LOTS of marshmallows roasted on the fire - yum! I ate a fair few, far more than I should have - sugar overload! I didn't get to bed until after midnight, and that is a VERY late night for us! I had two glasses of bubbles over the entire night, but I just didn't really feel like drinking much. We are both starting to laugh at ourselves because we just dont really want to drink like we used to. One glass of wine is usually enough for me, any more than that and I feel so dehydrated the next day. Plus I'm still breastfeeding Skye, so its not like I can get rolling drunk anyway - even if I wanted to!

Felt a bit bloated yesterday after eating all that party food. Last week was ok training wise, got 3 weights in but not enough cardio. So today I went hard on the cross trainer, and then this afternoon I took Skye and Elke for a powerwalk. Busy week this week so I've got to stay focused!

Back in the swing...

2010-08-02T16:20:00.006+10:00

One week down and I'm feeling SO much better about myself now that I'm back in the swing of things. Last week I completed 3 weights sessions and 4 cardios, and feeling good. Have seen a small drop in the scales so far, which I'm quite happy about.

I got hubby to take some "before" photos on the weekend - eeeek! Not real excited about those at the moment :) Have to say that it was a bit tough to squeeze myself into my bikini top - I've grown a bit in that department, and was very much spilling out of it, both front and sides! The joys of breastfeeding!

Sunday was back and triceps. I was a bit concerned at how I was going to target my lats seeing as how I dont have a lat pulldown at home. So I did bent over rows, DB pullovers and self-assisted wide grip chins... and the pullovers and self assisted chins have got my lats nice and sore. Hubby went rummaging through the shed and found his springs that he uses for lats... think handles, attached to springs, which you can hook onto something up high - like a beam. So I'll be giving these a go next time!

Today was leg day again, followed by a powerwalk with Skye in the Baby Bjorn and Elke dragging me along - so I'll be aching again tomorrow no doubt. I also had a visit to the chiro this moring - I'm needing my regular chiro adjustments more than ever lately, carrying around a baby on one hip all the time really seems to throw your back and hips out.

Yesterday I had the pleasure of catching up with Alicia and her beautiful little girl Ava. It was nice to get out and talk mum stuff, and get the girls to meet each other too :)

Anyway, nothing really exciting to post about today - can you believe that I started typing this post Monday morning, it has taken me 3 goes to finish it and its as boring as hell! Ha!

Legs

2010-07-28T09:31:00.002+10:00

Ouch, ouch, ouch - thats all I can say...

Yesterday morning I did my first proper leg session in a LONG while, and I think I might have gone a little too hard. I knew I was in trouble during the first set of walking lunges when my quads starting to scream at me LOL :)

Elke, our border collie cross, saw me put my gym shoes on. Now since I've been at home, me putting my gym shoes on means only one thing: shes going for a walk. But NOT anymore! She started racing around the house expecting me to grab her lead and head out the door... poor puppy! She was not impressed by me exercising on the patio - in fact, during my walking lunges (which were done around and around our outdoor table) she followed me the entire time, swatting at my ankles as if to say "What are you DOING mum? Stop mucking around and lets GO!!"

She soon gave up, and she left me to continue in peace :)

Changes

2010-07-26T10:33:00.002+10:00

Its amazing how things change when a little baby comes into your life.

For one thing, I never realised how precious “spare” time could be, until I had another little human being to look after, who depends on me for EVERYTHING, and how easy it is to waste time when she’s asleep, when I should be doing important things!

One really big change in my life since having Skye is my body shape. I’ve always been prone to being a “pear” shape, always storing the majority of my bodyfat on my hips and thighs. I’m still storing it there, but I’m noticing a lot more rolls around the middle – the dreaded muffin top!

At first I made excuses for myself. Hubby keeps saying to me “But you’ve just had a baby!!”… and I’m like “ummm… that was over 6 months ago!” (Bless him for loving me just the way I am, I’m very lucky to have him…)

Anyway, I've been looking at myself critically in the mirror lately, and realised that its time to get a bit more serious about my health again. The realization has been slowly creeping up on me for weeks… and now that Skye has settled down from the reflux and colic, I feel that I finally have the energy (without resorting to sugar!) to get back on track.

I’m ready to feel fit and healthy again. I’m taking it one day at a time, and being reasonable with my expectations. I'm 3kgs over my pre-pregnancy weight, however I've lost a lot of muscle so I'm not really using kilos as a goal. I need to build a bit of muscle and lose some bodyfat, so I'll be monitoring skinfolds and measurements as my main guide.

Back when I was heavily pregnant, I only suspended my gym membership until July, because I didn’t really know what the future was going to be like, so I wanted to give myself the option of going back.

I went to the gym last week and cancelled my membership. I really loved my gym – I was a constant gym-goer, almost every weekday for the last 5 years, I would be there at 5.30am ready and raring to go – it was a huge part of my life. I much prefer to train in public, because I usually push myself harder when there are other people around!

So yes I was a bit sad to cancel it, but the facts are this: we have a complete weights station at home, dumbbells, barbells, squat rack, leg extension etc, plus a cross trainer, and the benefit of living in a quiet, hilly area, perfect for outside cardio with baby + dog. We’re on one income now too, so it just makes more sense for us. I'll just have to make sure I push myself hard now that I'm training in private.

I've taken my starting measurements and drawn up a plan, –I need to be flexible, and reasonable – babies seem to have a way of throwing a spanner in the works! – but I’m feeling the fire in the belly again. I wasted no time on the weekend and did a "proper" weights session - supersets and everything, and boy am I feeling it now!

I also bought a new training diary from Ada Street Supplements in Brissie a few weeks ago (and a big plug for them – I ordered it online around lunchtime, and they delivered it to me by courier at around 5pm – THE SAME DAY!! Now that’s what I call service! They've always been good like that) - so I'm raring to go!

Teething!

2010-07-15T17:05:00.006+10:00

Poor Skye is teething at the moment. Ok, I should actually say she's been teething for bloody months - I wish this first tooth would hurry up!

Doctors and child health nurses have been telling me for ages that she's teething - swollen gums, red cheeks, tugging at her ears, excessive drooling and fingers in the mouth etc...

In the last week she's gotten worse and has been quite grizzly with it. I read Alicia's blog the other week and got some teething tablets to try, fingers crossed!

So because she's not sleeping for long stretches at the moment, I cant train when she's asleep because I usually only have time to eat, or shower or whatever before she wakes and demands attention. So yesterdays training session involved putting Skye in the walker out on the patio, and letting her watch me train. I kept her amused by asking her to help me count out the reps... so picture me in my trakkie daks and ugg boots, lifting weights and counting out my reps in that annoying high-pitched voice that we seem to use when talking to babies! And then singing songs in between to keep her smiling :)

I can only hope that the neighbours didn't see or hear me!!

Needless to say it only kept her entertained for a short amount of time and then she started to whinge, so I didn't get a full session in :(

I LOVE this cooler weather we're having overnight at the moment. We have a fireplace at our house, and its so lovely to get it cranking and watch the flames - just need to add a good book and a glass of wine and it would be a perfect way to spend the day - oh well I can dream!

Neglected

2010-07-06T11:20:00.006+10:00

Eeek - my poor old blog has been a bit neglected lately!

Partly because of not really having huge amounts of spare time these days, and partly because of not really having anything interesting to say :-)

Things have really settled down here in the last month - finally we have a happy baby! After months of stress and unsettled-ness, and me surviving on 2 hours of sleep every day for months, the doc diagnosed Skye with silent reflux and put her on some medication called Probitor. Within a day she was a different baby and we thought "Awesome!" She started sleeping longer, and was happy, and a pleasure to be around.

But then two days later the side effects kicked in - she was screaming in pain, doing these crampy sort of stomach movements, constipated, grizzly, waking up multiple times in the night with blood-curdling screams... and over a week it just got worse. So I took her back to the doc who recommended some MORE medication to treat the side effects of the first medication... WTF???

Tried that for 2 days, and she was no better, so gut-instinct was to stop all medication, which I did. Poor little poppet was so distressed, and worse than before the meds.

Then I was at my chiropractor for my own monthly adjustment, and told him my woes... he had a look at her then and there (her hips, neck and back were out) did a few little adjustments on her, and the difference since then has been amazing!

Chiropractic for babies is actually extremely safe - they dont do big "bone cracks" like they do on adults, they use a little clicker thing that really just massages the joints, its like gentle manoeuvring, rather than manipulation.

Anyway, it had such an amazing affect - she is just so happy now, and is sleeping nearly 12 hours a night again - woohoo! Hubby is not a believer in chiropractic though, he thinks maybe she was going to get better anyway. And I also think that moving on to 3 solid meals a day has helped a lot too - whatever it was, I dont care, she's happy and content, and that is the main thing.

I didn't realise just how hard it is to have a reflux and colicky baby, and now that she seems to be past that, its like I can finally enjoy being a mum. She no longer wakes after 30 minutes, she's not screaming during feeds anymore, she's not grizzly now unless she's tired... she's a joy!

She has started babbling this week... here's a little bit of one of her 'conversations'...

**************************************************************************

Other news... we're changing cars... again... Today I said goodbye to my beautiful Ford G6ET, and I'll be getting my replacment car on the weekend - a V8... ahh I cant wait, I loved my old V8! Hubby has also now got a V8 ute, so we're an all Ford, all V8 family now LOL! We change cars like we change our underwear around here hehehe!

I've returned to feedback coaching for IBO again for the last 8 weeks too, and its nice to be able to do a bit of work from home.

So this week, without a car for a few days I'm house-bound (well, I can walk to the local shops)... so I've got a "to-do" list as long as your arm - better get cracking! I'm hoping to teach myself how to use MYOB this week... dont like my chances!

TTFN!

Happy Anniversary!

2010-06-10T11:05:00.004+10:00

On Sunday it will be our one year since we said "I do"! Time flies huh? I love looking back on our photos and video of such a special day.

I cant believe how fast that year has gone though. Life has certainly changed so much in the last 6 months, and I think I am the luckiest girl in the world :)

Not sure what we are doing yet for our anniversary - we were talking of going away for a night or two, but we're not sure what to do with Miss Elke (the dog)... so we may end up just having a nice dinner somewhere and getting grandma to babysit Skye for a few hours.

Either way, cant wait!

"They're two, they're four, they're six, they're eight..."

2010-05-25T11:17:00.002+10:00

"... shunting trucks and hauling freight..."

GAH! I just cannot get the Thomas The Tank Engine theme tune out of my friggin head!!

Its been on permanent repeat in my brain for days now. Skye just loves watching it, she thinks its hilarious. I think she likes the big faces, she watches it and chuckles and giggles the whole time :) And she loves it when mummy sings along to the theme songs, so I'm getting to know them all pretty well by now hehehe

I also get random words stuck in my head too. Does anyone else get this? I know lots of people get songs stuck in their heads, but do you also get random words? It seems to come from things I see or hear in the news. Last week the word was "Nhulunbuy" - a town in NT... it was on the weather map on the Today show one morning. Lately its been "Roland Garros" - that tennis tournament in France.

So whenever theres a lull in my thoughts, the "word of the week" just pops in there, just to say hi. Hmmm, maybe I'm losing it?

It goes like this "Ok, better remember to get that washing out of the dryer. Roland Garros. Oh wait, whats the time? Roland Garros" LOL!

I've just googled it. Interestingly there is a term for this, seems like I've got an earworm! Tiredness is probably the culprit :)

##########################################

I'm going to be sore tomorrow... I trained shoulders, bi's and tri's this morning. I went a bit heavier than I probably should have, and my arms had the shakes for a while afterwards! I'm training at home while Skye is sleeping. We've got a weights station on our back patio, with an adjustable bench, preacher curl pad, dip station and squat rack. Its quite handy, although I'm not a fan of adjustable dumbells, it seems to take forever to change the plates. I use the house windows as "mirrors". Oh, and I've taken to wearing my ugg boots to train in. Just cos I can :)

I've also discovered that hefting a 7kg bub up and down in the air is an awesome chest workout too :) She loves it, and I get tired of it a hell of a lot quicker than she does. I might carry her around for walking lunges next. And all my powerwalks are so much harder with her strapped to my chest in the Baby Bjorn (and being pulled along by the dog).

Oh, and I got FIVE straight hours sleep last night - feel like a new woman!

Time flies when you're having fun

2010-05-10T16:40:00.007+10:00

... and even when you're not! I cant believe that I finished work 6 months ago!

Wow - long time no update! Spare time is so precious at the moment, that I havent had much time to blog. At any rate, I'm sure you're all sick of reading baby stuff, and thats pretty much all I have to write about at the moment!!

So. We've had a very rough couple of weeks here. Skye has been going through a bit of sleep regression over the last few weeks. She HAD lulled us into a false sense of security by starting to sleep longer and longer... some nights 8, 9, 10 hours straight. "Awesome!" we thought, and proudly started telling people that she was sleeping through. Then she hit 4 months and it all fell apart. Waking up 3, 4 or 5 times each night. Grizzling. Unsettled. In these last two weeks, she's been worse than when she was a newborn!

So all that makes for one very tired and cranky mummy. I haven't slept more than 2 hours straight for weeks.

Silly us, thought that once babies "learned" how to sleep through the night, that they just kept doing it. Apparently not - supposedly they unlearn, and then have to relearn... over and over for the first few years of life. Joy. And its all normal apparently.

Aside from that we are having so much fun! Its amazing to watch the little personality develop, and seeing her learn new skills. She's now grasping things with her fingers, and trying to put every single thing in her mouth! She's such a chatterbox too, and I love dressing her up in cute little outfits. I'm SO, SO in love with her - imagine that - ME! The most "un-maternal" woman ever! Its such an amazing feeling.

I've decided that I need to get my act together fitness wise. A few things have slipped, like drinking water. I'm lucky to drink 1 litre a day these days, and that needs to change. So I'm taking small steps to increase how much I'm having. I also need to get back to my healthy eating habits. These last few weeks I've been relying on sugar to get me through the exhaustion... bad Hil!

One thing thats helped this week is by doing my grocery shopping online. Its only $5 delivery, and it really helps me to avoid those impulse purchases that dont help the waistline! I've had one delivery so far and it was fantastic - the man even carried all the groceries into the kitchen for me (and the one part of grocery shopping that I despise is bringing all those heavy bags in from the car). The best part is that it frees up our Sundays, so we can start doing things as a family, instead of wasting half a day leaving Skye home with daddy while I do battle with the crowds.

My first mothers day as a mum was great! (apart from the lack of sleep) Hubby spoiled me with a voucher for an Ultimate Pamper Package - full body massage, head and scalp massage and deluxe foot treatment... ooooh I cant wait for that! I've booked in for next Thursday. And he bought me thai for dinner :) We spent the day with both our mums too, and I can tell you that I have so much more appreciation for my own mother now!

Well thats probably enough ramblings from me... enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Things I never knew about parenting...

2010-04-14T09:35:00.002+10:00

That eating dinner at the same time as my husband would be a rarity, and that most meals are eaten in a rush before the baby wakes up
That most of my food choices revolve around what is quick and convenient
That coming up with new and exciting ways to entertain a baby can be exhausting – they have such short attention spans!
That the amount of vomit my baby can produce is mind boggling at times
That wind can stay trapped in bubs tummy for hours – just when you think you’ve got it all, there’s more!
That I would forget to eat!
That 3 minute showers become the norm, and toilet visits become very hurried pit stops!
That my hair would stay in a permanent pony tail, and only get washed twice a week these days (used to be every second day). Similarly, hair colouring has become a thing of the past, and I’m in desperate need of a trim but cant be bothered!
That all my clothing choices revolve around what is comfortable to breast-feed in.
That I would go through so many bibs in a day! After my baby shower I thought I had SO many bibs and would never use them all… well we go through about 3 or 4 per day, and that’s mostly from the drooling! We can go through heaps more if she’s having a particularly ‘spewy’ day.
That babies are such amazing little ‘time sponges’ – I don’t know where the days go anymore.

This is her newest "thing" - she's discovered that she has two hands, and now loves nothing better than holding hands with herself. We laugh at her because it often looks like she's rubbing her hands together plotting some kind of mischief. Look at her chubby little legs! So far she hasn't realised that she has feet yet :)

I have started selling stuff on ebay - just general household stuff that we dont use. I've become a bit addicted. Now that a few things have sold, I find myself trawling around the house from room to room, opening cupboards and drawers looking for stuff to sell LOL!

My exercise mainly consists of walking at the moment, although I'm now having to strap the sole of my right foot again because the bloody plantar fasciitis is playing up again. Funnily enough it went away when I was pregnant, but its back with avengence now, even though I havent worn high heels, or done any impact exercise in months.

We're talking about getting another dog again. We put it off after we lost Shavez, and then Skye came along and we had our hands full anyway. We both still miss Shavez like crazy - I cant believe its been 7 months since he left us... I sometimes have dreams about him where he comes to this house and gives me a cuddle and I can still smell his scent. In the dreams I know he's gone, but its like he's telling me he's watching over us. Thinking about him and talking about him still makes us cry.

Anyway, so we're thinking about it again, and we also think that Elke could do with a companion - I often catch her looking longingly at the neighbours dogs. We're just trying to decide on a breed.

Anyway, sounds like the little monkey has woken up - better go!

Fun and Games

2010-03-29T09:28:00.003+10:00

Long time no blog again... I feel like life is just flashing past me at the moment! I cant believe that our little girl is 12 weeks old already! I dont really have anything exciting to blog about, hence the lack of posting.

We've had a tough few weeks - Skye has had really bad wind and its been making mummy's life a bit of a nightmare lately. But I've now stopped eating a few things that might have been part of the cause and hopefully that has helped. Last night she slept for almost 9.5 hours straight - OMG! I had to go check on her a few times and make sure she was ok. Then I had to express because I felt like my boobs were going to explode LOL!

We've been going for walks most afternoons... I strap her into the Baby Bjorn and grab the dog and go for a 20 minute walk each day... she weighs less than 6kgs but holy crap she feels heavy when we're power walking the hills! I keep reminding myself that when I was 9 months pregnant I weighed a hell of a lot more than that!

I've not managed to do a lot of weight training, mostly because the last few weeks have been so rough and when she finally does sleep I generally collapse in a heap. But I'm getting there and plan to do at least 2 weights sessions this week. Fingers crossed.

There have been a LOT of poo explosions going on! She's not doing as many per day now, but when she does go - WOAH... watch out! Some of them are hilarious (who'da thought that I'd spend so much time talking about poo?!!) especially when she's managed to poo so hard that it comes out the front, back AND sides of the nappy! Because we've got a sick sense of humour, we've taken a few photos of these poo explosions in order to embarrass her at her 21st birthday party hehehe...

This was one that she thought she'd share with mummy... all over my leg and even managed to get it up underneath my shorts too... what a talented girl!

Over and out!

Awww...

2010-03-08T12:35:00.002+10:00

Here's my girl, telling me how funny she thinks the swing is...

Its finally happened…

2010-03-03T15:19:00.004+10:00

I have finally succumbed to the ultimate in mummy-fashion…

I am now the proud owner of a dressing gown!

Well – I’ve never EVER, in all my adult life, worn a dressing gown or robe. I’ve never wanted one, never needed one. Both hubby and I are not the kind of people who get out of bed and lounge around in their PJ’s, boxer shorts or whatever – no – I get out of bed and get straight into the shower (if I wasn’t going to gym that is).

But suddenly everything has changed. I now have to get up in the middle of the night to feed Skye, and some mornings its actually been quite cool. Then when its morning of course the first thing I have to do again is to feed Skye, so I often don’t get a chance to have a shower until much later – sometimes not til 11am! I’ve been wearing jumpers, but its just not cutting it.

I confessed to hubby the other day that I thought I was going to need to get one soon… and so he secretly did a bit of online shopping and ordered me a lovely pink Billabong robe, complete with pink polka-dot trim and a hoodie as a surprise… aint he lovely?!!

I’m so lucky to have such a wonderful supportive husband. Skye just adores him – often I’ll sit her on my lap facing him and she just gazes at him and smiles and giggles, he doesn’t even have to be looking at her – she just thinks he’s hilarious!

Isn’t it funny how daddys always get to be the “fun” ones, and mums do the comfort thing, along with all the other mundane, every day stuff! He can always come up with exciting stuff to keep her interested, like flying her around the room as if she’s a plane, or bouncing her up in the air… she squeals and giggles and just loves it.

I'm constantly amazed at the fact that no matter how hard I try, I always get spewed on. I put the spew rag (terry toweling nappy) over my shoulder, and without fail she will find the one spot that isn’t covered and puke… often its down my cleavage, or the back of my arm. By the end of the day I absolutely reek!

I also never realised just how much clothes washing one little body could generate… I mean, before Skye came along I used to wash one day a week, generally 3-4 loads – too easy.

But now – holy crap, I’m going through loads of washing like there’s no tomorrow! Because of the spew and dribble, she’s going through at least 2 changes of clothes a day, plus bibs and muslin wraps. Then there’s my own change of clothes, due to the aforementioned spew. Then you’ve gotta factor in the nappy leakage – be it poo or wee, sometimes those suckers just cannot be contained by a little nappy!

When I was pregnant I bought one packet of 12 terry toweling nappies to use as spew rags, thinking it would be MORE than enough… HA! I quickly learned that I can easily go through 3 or 4 a day, especially when she’s having a particularly spewy day, or has one of her gargantuan poos that seep everywhere! So I had to get another packet to make sure I had enough.

Anyway, things are becoming more fun around here. We've had a good week and things seem to be settling down, lets hope it continues!

Learnings…

2010-02-14T13:54:00.002+10:00

Long time no blog! I thought I'd take this chance now, as everyone else in the house is asleep - hubby has crashed on the lounge, Skye is FINALLY down and the dog and cat are always asleep anyway...

Well - what a steep learning curve I’m on. Just when I start to feel confident with my parenting, and just when I think I’ve got her figured out, she throws a spanner in the works and everything changes!

I’m quickly learning that what worked today will probably not work tomorrow, especially where her sleep is concerned. I’ve got a large number of techniques up my sleeve now to try to get her down. And mostly, I can get her to sleep these days (except around 4-5pm, that’s just impossible as she wont stop carrying on, and it goes on for a few hours) – no – the main problem at the moment is getting her to STAY asleep. For the last week or so she has started waking after 20-30 minutes, and then refusing to go back down to sleep. I've heard that its a pretty common problem as they transition through to the next deeper stage of sleep around then.

The last few days I’ve resorted to going back into her room to see whats going on after 20 minutes. Its her legs, after 20 minutets or so they start to kick like crazy and she wakes herself up (told you she was hyperactive!). So I hold her legs still so she doesn't wake, she'll do this 5 or 6 times over a 10-15 minute period. Some times I’m not quick enough, and other times it works. I feel like I spend my entire life bent over the cot!

If I'm not quick quick enough and she wakes up, sometimes she'll scream blue murder for 2 hours. Yesterday I was tearing my hair out - nothing would settle her except a feed. Straight after the feed she screamed again. She screamed when I took her into her room, and also when I took her out again, she screamed when I tried to lay her down to wrap her, she screamed when I picked her up… you get the picture. Today she seems fine, but still resisting sleeping through the day...

I’ve got a head cold and sore throat which doesn’t make me feel very happy at the moment, and some days it feels like everyone else wants a piece of me first. If its not Skye, then its the dog or cat wanting food or attention, or meals needing to be prepared. Its just so tiring, and frustrating sometimes! I also hope I haven’t passed on my cold to her, I have no idea how I'd tell if she had a sore throat?

Anyway, apparently it gets better eventually!

Although for the last two weeks she has been giving us the most gorgeous smiles, giggles, coo's and ga-gahs too, which just melts your heart and gives me such a warm-fuzzy feeling. It kinda makes up for all the frustrating times! I cant believe she is over 6 weeks old already...

Yesterday hubby moved our gym equipment from the carport into our patio area, so I'm thinking I'm going to have a few weights sessions this week and see how I go. Its been so long but I really miss feeling strong and throwing weights around. I want some muscles back and to lose the little belly pooch that I'm now sporting...

Probably about time my blog started focusing on fitness again I guess!

Have a great week, I'll be glued to the TV watching the Winter Olympics... I LOVE Winter Olympics, its so much more interesting than the summer ones, of course I'm a bit biased because of my ice-skating past ;-)

Studio photos...

2010-02-02T13:29:00.008+10:00

Time is just flying isnt it? I cant believe that its February, and that little miss Skye is almost 5 weeks old already!

Well we've had a fun couple of weeks getting into the swing of being parents, and all the challenges that brings. Some days are great, and other days not so great, but thats all part of the experience I guess!

Our major issue has been getting her to sleep during the day - it seemed that no matter what I tried, or how many different settling techniques I used, the little bugger just REFUSED to go down. Last week it wasn't uncommon for her to be awake for 8 hours straight, and cranky as hell, not surprisingly. She would sleep on my lap, but then as soon as she went into that bassinette she was wide awake and screaming - ahhh the joys!

But the good thing is that she seems to be a good sleeper at night, often going 4 or 5 hours at a stretch, so I cant really complain. Yesterday and today I've been successful to get her to sleep during the day, so fingers crossed we're onto something!

It was my birthday last Thursday and I was invited out to lunch, and took Skye. I was pretty nervous to take her out to a cafe, I had visions of her screaming the entire time. But she was a perfect angel and slept the whole time, so I worried for nothing! It was our first BIG outing together, and it was great because it gave me a lot more confidence that I can manage.

I'm starting to think about getting back into some kind of fitness routine, but nothing intense just yet. The other day I ran to answer the phone and I could feel that there is still some tenderness in my tummy/pelvic area. I've been doing a bit of walking, but nothing of much consequence. I havent really done any weight training since about October (unless you count lifting a 4kg baby around all day!), so that will be something that I'll need to ease back into!

Anyway, on Saturday we went and had some studio photos done by Rezolution Photography - who also did our fantastic wedding photos... I went and picked up the CD today (how's that for super fast service?!!) and I am SO impressed with them, they are exactly what I hoped for. Here's a small selection of them:

We learn as we go...

2010-01-18T14:02:00.004+10:00

Random observations from the first 3 weeks of motherhood…

Nitrous Oxide gas during labour – gives you a really swollen and sore soft palate and throat for days afterwards. Swallowing really hurts!
It’s a cruel joke of mother nature that your baby “wakes up” and becomes hungry and alert about 2 days after the birth, and my milk didn’t come in until about day 4.
Public Hospital food was surprisingly good! Porridge for breakfast was awesome!
Breastfeeding really HURTS for about 2 weeks after the birth. It felt like razor blades being sucked through my nipples for the first 20 seconds every time, even when she was supposedly attached properly. Using the breast pump hurts the same. Its only been in the last week that its stopped being painful, and its such a relief!

The middle of the night, sitting alone in the quiet, dark house - feeding, burping, changing and settling a windy/colicky/grizzly baby is one of the loneliest feelings ever .
Every single midwife in hospital has a completely different opinion on how you should do things. They often contradict each other. Eg – one midwife talked to us about Skye’s long fingernails and told us we could nibble the ends off with our teeth. An hour later, the next midwife told us that on NO ACCOUNT should we use our teeth!
Baby swings are awesome, at least I can put Skye down and get a few things done, she loves to look around.
Some days feel absolutely overwhelming and frustrating. I think Skye has reached her 3 week growth spurt yesterday – she fed almost every hour, with very little sleep in between and lots of wind in between too. It made for a very grizzly baby and an emotional wreck of a mummy. Today though has been great!
Having not had any nappy/baby experience before, I cant believe how often babies poo! Skye must think we have shares in Huggies Nappies I think, with the rate that we are going through them. The other day we changed it 3 times in half an hour – the first was wet, so we changed it, then 5 minutes later she’d done a big poo – changed it again and 10 minutes later she finished the poo!
Some poos (think American Mustard!) cannot be contained by a mere nappy and I’ve been hammered twice already, once from side seepage from sheer quantity! Oh and I’ve discovered that its crucial to wait until she’s finished… initially I would jump up and change her straight away after hearing the telltale fart of her pushing one out… well I quickly learned to beware of this, as she often isn’t finished and will squirt more out onto you when she’s on the change table! It pays to wait a good 5 -10 minutes!

All the days start to merge into one another, and I no longer know what day of the week it is.
Press studs on baby clothes. Clearly they have been put there for the benefit of sleep deprived parents because nothing could be easier to fasten, right? However I’m constantly surprised by just how difficult and complicated it is to line up 3 little press studs and get them closed when you have a wriggling, squirming little bub on the table, and you are half dead with tiredness!

All the gory details

2010-01-09T07:03:00.002+10:00

Well I finally have a moment to myself, so I thought I'd share the story of how Skye Lily came into the world.

Hubby has pulled an all-nighter so I could get some sleep, and now its 6am, he’s gone to bed and I’ve just fed and (hopefully) settled miss Skye, so I might get to finish this. She’s a tough one to settle, she just fights sleep like you wouldn’t believe, and is SO alert! I read that newborns don’t stay awake for more than an hour or two at a time – try telling that to my child please!! She can be awake for 5 or 6 hours at a time, so tired but just too interested in everything to sleep. Once she's asleep though she can go for 4 hours or so before waking up, so I shouldn't complain too much. The lack of sleep is really debilitating though, I feel like I'm constantly in a daze.

Anyway… here's the gory details. Warning - its long-winded and probably way too much information!

On Tuesday 29th of December 2009, we had our 41 week hospital appointment. The doc checks me over and everything is normal. Does the internal exam and finds that I am 2cms dilated, so he does a stretch and sweep to try to get things moving. We are also booked in for an induction on 1st January at 4pm, if nothing happens sooner – although he tells hubby that he feels that it will happen before then. We left hospital feeling excited that things might be happening, and then go walk around the shopping centre for a while – I actually bought the first Twilight book “to read between contractions” – humourous now when I think of it, and yes I can see those that are already mothers rolling their eyes at me – I still have not had a chance to open that book!

8pm that night, the period-pain like cramps that I’d been having on and off for weeks start to turn worse – some actually start to take my breath away. I stay calm, assume its more Braxton Hicks, and continue eating dinner and start watching the DVD that we’d hired (Wolverine!). But they start getting stronger, and come with regularity. I start keeping a log of the time, and how long each one lasts. I also give them a “pain rating” out of 10. I tried to be conservative with my ratings, because to my thinking, a rating of 10 was full-on screaming labour pain. I laugh now when I look at how I’d scored some of those early contractions, as a 5 or a 6 out of 10 – HA! Little did I know what real pain was at that stage!!

About 9.30pm I sat forward on the lounge and felt something leaking down below. I assume it might be my “show” (mucous plug which you can lose when the cervix starts to dilate). I sit back, not concerned yet, since a friend of mine had her “show” about 2 days before going into labour, so I’m still not convinced that I’m in labour, and I had a maternity pad on just in case anyway.

Hubby starts getting a bit excited at this stage, but we’re still watching the DVD so he stays pretty calm too – only asking me every 5 minutes if I’m ok.

10pm – I sit forward again, and get another gush. This time I get up and go check. Hmmmm…. I think my waters have broken!!

We ring the hospital – they tell me to come in. I then realize that there are still a bunch of last minute items still not in my hospital bag (make up, mobile phone charger, camera – other daily use stuff) so I madly try to gather everything together between contractions, which are getting more painful.

11.30pm – Arrive at hospital. It is pouring with rain! I get taken into a room and strapped into a machine to monitor bubs heart rate, and my contractions. But the position of the belt isn’t right and it keeps losing the fetal heart rate, and my contractions are barely showing (but boy could I feel them!). I become convinced that they’re going to send me home because I’m not ready yet!

The midwives are reluctant to do an internal because we think my waters have broken (risk of infection if they do it too often) so they use a speculum (the thing they use when you have a pap smear) to have a peek. Its confirmed that my waters have broken, but they cant tell how dilated I am because there is too much fluid in the way.

1am – get wheeled into a birthing suite. I’m starting to really gasp with pain at each contraction, and am cursing the fact that I’d perservered with eating dinner, felt like it was going to come back up for sure.

From this point on, things get a little sketchy as far as time/sequence of events go!

Around 1.30am – in the birthing suite, I hop into the shower because a few friends have told me how heavenly it was to have hot water on your back… it didn’t really do much for me though! The midwife insisted that I should lean on the fitball in the shower, when I much preferred to rest my head on the hard plastic shower seat (so I could grasp the chair legs!). I tried it for a while in the shower, but felt I’d be better off lying on my side on the bed. The contractions were getting stronger, so I asked for some gas. Tried it, felt it did nothing. I found it to be more annoying and frustrating than anything!

The midwife told me to empty my bladder. And the strange thing was, I couldn’t go! I sat on the toilet for a while, nothing… she suggested I hop back in the shower and try… nothing! Yes its hard to pee when you have an audience (hi hubby!!) and harder again in labour – but I just couldn’t go. Midwife said I actually had TWO bumps at that stage, one baby bump, and another BLADDER bump! To my absolute horror, they had to put a catheter in – and I think I was more scared about that than the impending birth!

2.30am-ish – I ask for more drugs. The contractions were feeling unbearable, and the gas was doing jack-shit. I got a pethidene shot in the leg. It took a few minutes to work, and the major relief I found was that I was dozing/drifting off between contractions. It also made me lose sense of time to some degree.

But it could only do so much, and I’d had just about enough, even at this early stage! The gas was useless, I kept telling them so, but every time another wave of contractions started, I kept getting told “Use the gas!! Use the gas!!” and had it thrust into my hand to use. So I would huff and puff into this “useless” thing – just about screaming in agony, and ANGRY that they didn’t seem to be listening – it didn’t work!

At some point I had another internal exam, and I was told that I was 3cms dilated!! AARRGGGHHH!!!! I was horrified, it was so distressing to hear. All that pain for a measly ONE extra centimetre!!

By then I was exhausted. One thing I remember was that between contractions I kept being told to lift my butt off the bed so they could change the padding under me – easier said than done!

At this stage the only words I could utter was “I CANT DO THIS!” – to which my hubby always replied “YES YOU CAN – you are amazing!”.

Eventually I asked for something, ANYTHING to take away the excruciating, relentless pain. Epidural? –yes!! Gimme it!! Make it stop!!

I don’t wanna do this anymore!!!

So they rang to book me in for an epidural – but since it was 6am, I had to wait for an anesthetist, I was told it was an hour away. I remember panicking, thinking how can I endure another hour of this?

But then they did another internal, and I was suddenly 8cms – I’d dilated about 5cms in an hour or so! I got talked into canceling the epidural (since it would probably slow the labour down) and seeing how we went – they told me I was almost there!! But sadly, we weren’t.

By now I had 2 female doctors in the room as well as the midwife and hubby. It was discovered that bub had turned posterior again, which was going to make the next bit more complicated…

I begged for, and got, another pethidene shot…

More of the same, contractions, pain, useless gas – I was panicking, hyperventilating, screaming that I cant do this, and just OVER it! Get this frickin thing out of me!!!

And then suddenly, during these intense contractions, my body did the weirdest thing ever – it started pushing all on its own. I hadn’t been told to push, I didn’t WANT to push, but my body just did it and I found it VERY hard to control. They kept saying “stop pushing!” and I kept saying “I’m NOT!” They told me to breathe through it… and it took all my strength and effort to stop my whole abdominal and pelvic area from bearing down.

These involuntary pushes were the weirdest thing ever, and completely unexpected – I’d never heard of them before.

So, by about 8am we got to 10cms dilated, and I was finally given the ok to start pushing with the contractions. We tried all different positions (easier said than done) but I preferred lying on my side. Hubby had to get one leg in an arm lock so I could bear down against it. I ended up on my back though, this was the easiest to push against.

All during pregnancy I was so worried about everyone looking at my “girly bits” during birth. I was worried about being naked in front of strangers, and I was worried about pooing when I was pushing. I’m a bit shy, so it was a concern…

And just like everyone tells you, when the time came, I didn’t give a shit. All I cared about was getting this thing out of me. And make the pain stop!

Anyway, 2 hours of pushing… bub still posterior and not turning. They can almost see the head. But its just not happening, and to make it worse, the head is also on a crooked angle. They start talking as if I’m not there, might have to do a Caesar? She’s too exhausted to keep pushing like this, the heads not turning…

I’m hyperventilating, freaking out. Doc says I’m pushing so well – not many people can push this hard, for this long – she knows I can do it… if I want, we can do an episiotomy (cutting the perineum) which should see this baby out within the next few contractions (yeah right!)

So I get the snip. I didn’t feel it (it was done in the middle of a contraction) – but I HEARD it. It sounded like someone cutting gristle with kitchen scissors… ugh! There are some things you cant unhear!

It took another 2 or 3 contractions (each contraction having 3-4 pushes) to get the babys head out. The biggest push of my life!

Baby was face up, and at an odd angle. Someone says “heads out!” – everyone looks, except me of course!

She opens her eyes… suddenly nobody cared about the woman on the bed, everyone was oohing and ahhing at the baby looking up at them, whilst still half inside me!! I felt like screaming “HELLO!!? Remember me??” LOL!

Had to wait for the next one or two contractions, and at another big push this hot, purple, slippery little being landed on my chest and was being quickly toweled dry… I was in awe… our baby!

I was dazed and relieved that the worst of the pain was over – time was called – 10.17am. I kept touching the little body on my chest, not quite believing that this was once our “tic tac”!

Hubby came around the other side of the bed and said “it’s a girl, we’ve got a baby girl!!” and I went “Oh yeah, that’s right – we didn’t know!!” I wonder how long it would have taken me to ask!

Funnily enough, when theydid my stitches, the doc said to breathe in the gas while she gave me a local anaesthetic. I thought “whats the point?” but sucked on the gas anyway… and woah! - instant light head, I guess it did work after all!

Its an amazingly empowering feeling... you feel like you can do anything! I cant believe that I managed to push my little girl out, I look at her now and wonder how on earth she managed to fit inside me! You feel proud of yourself too - especially when the doctors said that in 90% of cases, when the baby presents that way, they have to do a caesar. Man am I glad that we avoided that!

So that’s the gory details!

We are slowly adjusting to life with a baby. You dont realise how much it consumes your life. I cant just go to bed anymore when I'm tired. If hubby stays up with her I have to make sure I've expressed enough milk for them. I do a load of washing and it might be 4 or 5 hours before I get to hang it out! We havent eaten dinner together since the night of the labour, one or the other will usually be trying to settle Skye.

Recovery wise, I'm great. The stitches feel like they've healed well. Going to the loo has been a challenge, its scary when you have stitches and you're worried about tearing them down there. Consequently you "put it off" which just makes it harder when you DO go! My stomach has shrunk pretty well too, and amazingly I'm back to within 4kgs of my pre-pregnancy weight! I'm loving being able to sleep on my back again too. Breastfeeding is a whole new challenge, but we're getting there. I think Skye is going to be hyperactive, like her daddy!

Anyway, I'll stop boring you now with all this! Thank you all for your beautiful comments, texts, emails and gifts! This parenting thing is going to be a challenge, but I'm up for it! (just need a little more sleep!)

Its a girl!

2010-01-04T07:24:00.006+10:00

Our beautiful little tic tac has finally arrived, and its a girl!!

Skye Lily was born on Wednesday 30th December 2009, at 10.17am. She weighed 8lbs 2oz, 51cms long and had a head circumference of 34cms.

Thanks to everyone for so many beautiful facebook comments, texts and emails - its been overwhelming and quite an emotional ride!

We had a natural delivery (unfortunately with an episiotomy) and managed to avoid the epidural, had gas (didn't help) and pethidene. She was born posterior (came out face up!) and head at an odd angle - they were starting to think we'd have to have a caesar to get her out, but after 2 hours of pushing we got there in the end.

I will be blogging about the birth in detail, but not just yet as I'm still struggling to string sentences together properly! We are just over the moon and so excited to have our little girl, she is so precious to us and I just love her to pieces! (and here I was, worried I wouldn't feel maternal!) Hubby is the proudest dad you could imagine, you cannot wipe the smile off his face :-)

Here's a few photos of our little one...

In the birthing suite, getting measured (and not happy about it!)

First bath in hospital

Awww... sleeping

At home testing out the new bassinet

Will be back sometime soon with lots of gory birth details!

PS - belated Happy New Year to everyone too, we kinda missed it this year :-)

The waiting game

2009-12-26T05:20:00.006+10:00

Hope everyone had a lovely Christmas!!

Ours was VERY quiet. Since we didn't know where we'd be on Christmas Day, we decided to cancel Christmas this year, well - the gift-giving bit anyway, but we still got together with family and shared the day and a lovely meal.

But, we're still waiting for our best present ever!!

Tic tac was officially due on the 22nd, although technically they say that 75% of babies are born AFTER their due date. We're now 4 days "overdue" and I dont think there are any signs that we're close. At my 40 week hospital checkup on Tuesday, the midwife said that the head hadn't fully engaged yet, and although softened, I hadn't started to dilate yet. Disappointed! We just want to meet the little bugger, although I guess if its not ready, its not ready!

Its hard not to be frustrated. Even though bub will come when its ready (or when the hospital decide), I feel like all the pressure is on me to "perform" - everyone is so impatient to meet tic tac, and I reckon at this time of year its so much worse, because of all the other special/important dates around this time. At least the weather has cooled down a bit and its not so humid. Trying to enjoy my last few days of "freedom" anyway!

Next hospital appointment is on Tuesday, and if still nothing has happened then we'll be booked in to be induced - something I'd really like to avoid if possible. So we're trying every trick in the book to get things rolling, if you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them!

Here's a couple of pics we took on Xmas Eve - we were sick of sitting around the house waiting so we went for a drive to Manly harbour and had a wander around... took our fur baby Elke for a walk along the water - here she is with me and the bump!

And afterwards in the car - shattered!

Enjoy your boxing day everyone, and keep fingers crossed for us!

Dreaming of Screaming...

2009-12-16T15:05:00.002+10:00

With thanks to System of a Down for the title...

Both of us had dreams of birth last night. I woke up to tell hubby that I'd just dreamt of having the baby. In the dream, I arrived at hospital on my own, because hubby was running late. There was a male midwife, who saw me to a room - where I had just hopped on the bed, and 5 seconds later gave one LITTLE push (hardly any effort really) - and suddenly the baby was born and taken away from me! I was told its a girl, and then the midwife told me I had two options, I could either stay there, or check into a hotel!! LOL!

Hubby dreamt that I was having contractions, while we were sitting in the carpark of a landscape nursery... I dont know what we were doing there!

Hmmm, well I'm still here anyway, and so is the bump.

For the last week I've been getting period-pain type cramps that come and go - perhaps these are Braxton Hicks? (I have no idea). And today I cant walk too well because I seem to have pinched a nerve in my groin area. Took Elke for a longer walk today, and was absolutely shattered when I got home. Lots of little stabbing niggles down below. I keep waiting for something to go "KABOOM" - this is it!! But nothing yet. Every little twinge I'm like "Is this IT?" I'm running out of patience!

Anyhoo... this is the new "Hil-mobile" - forgot to post pics when we got it a few weeks ago! Naturally, its a Ford!

And this was me on Saturday night (thought I should post one with my head still attached, just once!) - at the end of our housewarming party, feeling hot and bothered and about ready to collapse!

Ok, I'm ready for it to be over now

2009-12-11T13:24:00.002+10:00

Yep, I'm ready for this baby to be out now!

This is just a horrible, horrible time of year to be heavily pregnant (and not in air conditioning). Its been so hot and humid, and I'm just so uncomfortable now...

The swollen feet are a given (I waddle like a slow-moving duck these days), but in the last week my hands and fingers have decided to join the "fluid retention party" - and now I cant get my wedding/engagement rings off. This is upsetting me more than anything else, its just SO frustrating and annoying, and really starts to freak me out if I think about it too much.

Yesterday I had my regular appointment with my chiropractor, and was telling him I couldn't get the rings off. Well, I had his entire office staff, other chiros, and my chiro's wife all trying different things to get my bloody rings off! Ice, elevation, lubrication - nothing worked! Felt quite funny to have so many different people standing around discussing different techniques that might work LOL! Their final suggestion was to have them cut off - something I'm reluctant to do to my beautiful rings.

So I'm just trying to ignore it for now, its not like I have purple fingers or anything, its just frustrating and annoying more than anything. I feel so stupid cos I SHOULD have taken them off weeks ago, but in my stupidity I thought "Naaahhh, my hands wont get swollen!!" - famous last words!

Week 38 hospital visit was on Wednesday and some good news - at my last visit at 36 weeks, Tic Tac was lying posterior (its back was against my back) - so after much effort this last fortnight (getting down on hands and knees, leaning forward when sitting down, not putting my feet up, lots of walking etc) we've managed to get bub to turn - yay! They are not concerned with the swelling, chiefly because my blood pressure is still on the low side of normal.

So its in position and ready to go - now just have to wait I guess! Officially we have 11 days to go, but of course its all up to bub and whenever he/she decides it wants to join us. Technically if they allow me to go 10 days overdue, then we might not be having a baby until 1st or 2nd of January... ugh!

We are having a housewarming party here on Saturday night (yeah great timing huh?) so it will be a busy weekend. I've told hubby that I'm not planning on jumping up and down serving people all night, so its a sausage sizzle and he's doing most of it (I'll make a salad and then put my feet up) - lets hope it goes to plan!

Have an awesome weekend!

Where's the cat?

2009-12-05T14:16:00.007+10:00

The other morning I couldn't find the cat in any of his normal sleeping haunts... where is he?

Mmmm, there's a strange lump in Elke's dog bed...

Is that a little paw poking out?

Found ya!

Lemme alone mum, I like it under here!

Elke: Ok, but where am I going to sleep?

We are lucky enough to have a fully screened in patio area at our new house, which is where Elke sleeps at night. She spends most of her daytime indoors now, and Connor spends most of his daytime out in the enclosed patio area, sunning himself. Elke would rather come in and drink water from the cats small water bowl, and Connor would rather drink from Elke's huge bucket of water which is on the patio! Its like having kids! (except they dont talk back LOL)

Cravings

2009-11-30T13:36:00.002+10:00

Photo at 36 weeks pregnant.

No car news yet, we hopefully pick it up tomorrow (Tuesday)

Anyway, cravings. I haven't really experienced many. I've had the odd occasion where I felt like having something in particular, but it wasn't a desperate urge or anything.

To date, they have been:

1. In the first trimester - fruit. I'm not a big fruit lover at the best of times, but I wanted and ate a fair bit of fruit in the first 12 weeks. I'm over it now though!

2. In the 2nd trimester, on one occasion I suddenly thought I could "smell" pickles. You know, like the ones on a Cheeseburger. Then I thought about pickles all day. Told hubby about it, and he went and got me McDonalds that night, LOL!

3. Last week, I really felt like one of those icy poles that comes in plastic tubes. Like the ones you give to kids, from the supermarket. So I bought a packet, and have been having one now and then - hits the spot right now because its so hot and humid lately! I guess its like wanting to eat ice...

4. Today - All I could think about was having a HUGE cold salad for lunch. No protein, just lots of crisp iceberg lettuce, onion, cherry tomatoes, asparagus, capsicum, cucumber and avocado. So I've just finished it - yum! I dont really understand this one, because I have salad probably 4 nights a week with dinner (the other nights are steamed veg), so its nothing special, but for some reason I REALLY wanted salad for lunch!

Now that I've got some time up my sleeve, I've been experimenting with some baking. Last week I made bread rolls for the first time, and yesterday I made some Almond and Strawberry Friands (ooooh yum!). I only ate a couple, and the rest go to hubby for his lunches (he's lovin it!). Think I might also try making some Calzones, or Foccacia bread, for his lunches. I'm not a natural "baker" (I'm hopeless with measuring and weighing ingredients) and I cant seem to stick to a recipe (I've got a bad habit of throwing extra stuff in for some reason, for experimentation - which is great when cooking, but not so good when baking). But for some reason, I feel like baking. Maybe its the nesting instinct??

3 weeks to go (unless tictac is late of course)!

Maternity Leave

2009-11-26T09:08:00.002+10:00

Ok, so here I am, maternity leave. I finished work last Friday (big sigh of relief) and am now patiently waiting… waiting… for a baby to arrive.

4 weeks to go (am now 36 weeks along), and next week bub will technically be considered “full term”. Makes me laugh when people say to me “wow that’s gone quick!”… man, I feel like I’ve been pregnant FOREVER! I would just like tic tac to be out now, seriously, its been lovely to have another little being growing and kicking inside me, but I’d really like my body back now!!

Work gave me a baby gift card, so I happily went and spent that on Monday. Just a few small items to get now, and I’ll feel ready! I still haven’t packed any bags, so I must get to that this week – just in case. I’ve got lists galore, and have got so much stuff to get done in the next couple of weeks (get tax done, hospital appointments, massage appointment, get a few more baby/hospital supplies, pack hospital/baby bags, get baby capsule installed, organize bubs room, dentist check up etc) so I’m not exactly putting my feet up just yet (and with my feet swollen to resemble elephant-man, I really should be!)

One thing that is still up in the air is a car. Can you believe that we STILL don’t have a car for me yet? Because hubby is such a car (Ford) enthusiast, well, he’s been researching a car for me for the last 6 months. Its got to be a performance car (for him, when he’s on his own), and a safe & reliable car for me and bub. Hard to find something that ticks all the boxes. To me, a car is a car, but its so important to him! My company car stayed at work on Friday when I finished, so currently I’m driving around his hotted up XR8 ute (his pride and joy). It’s a manual though, and an absolute BITCH to get into reverse. I do enjoy driving it though, I feel a bit tough! Here's a pic - wouldn’t you feel like a hoon if you drove this?:
Anyway, we sorted something out yesterday, fingers crossed we’ll have a new car by the weekend (and bye-bye XR8!)

Today I'm going for a pregnancy massage, and I cant wait. I've certainly relaxed and loosened up a bit since I finished work on Friday, but my shoulders are still pretty tight. A bit of pampering will be nice though.

So nothing too thrilling to report here - catcha next time...

Fat feet

2009-11-13T14:46:00.001+10:00

Hubby has always loved my feet - he has often said to me that one of the first things he notices in a woman (after a face, boobs etc) is their feet. Its surprising actually how many of his mates share this same opinion actually!! I don’t think it’s a foot-fetish, but apparently it IS important (in his opinion) to have nice feet.

Anyway, currently I have fat feet. And at the end of each fat foot, I have 5 fat little sausages for toes… This swelling only really started a few weeks ago, and its gradually getting worse, and some days are worse than others, depending on the weather, and how long I sit/stand in one position.

I'm having great fun tormenting hubby with my ugly feet now - I keep saying "Look at my swollen FEET!!" and he just about shrieks and runs away! LOL! Not quite, but it IS funny! Ankles have disappeared too, on both sides. It is quite bizarre. Luckily I have no swelling anywhere else. Elevating my legs at the end of the day helps a bit, but you cant do that at work!

We had our all-day ante natal class last Saturday, which we actually quite enjoyed. We learned quite a bit, we both asked heaps of questions, and it was great to have a tour of the birthing suites, and to see the rooms in the maternity ward. The great thing about my hospital is, although its public, you get an individual room - nice. We watched a couple of birth videos, which for some reason made me want to burst into tears. I just found it so emotional watching this woman go through all those contractions and pain, having her hubby supporting her and helping her, and then the actual birth (which was graphic enough in detail, and freaked me out a little bit) - just so … moving. I blinked back the tears though, had to remind myself that I was in a room full of 30-40 strangers!

I'm having my baby shower this Saturday, and really looking forward to it. One of my friends has organised it all, so I just get to sit back and relax! (After I clean the house from top to bottom of course)

Oh and I have decided to finish work a week earlier than I'd planned, its just getting too much. I will be 35 and a half weeks by next Friday, which is enough for me. So I have only 5 days of work left - yeeha! I've got so much to do after I finish though, to get organised for tic tac's arrival.

Have an awesome weekend!

Stressy Week

2009-11-06T03:59:00.002+10:00

Ugh - stress city. I knew this week was going to be the week from hell... and it has been.

I've been having trouble sleeping this week. Sleep is always one of the first thing that goes out the window for me when I'm stressed. I'm actually ok getting to sleep this time, but I cant seem to stay asleep. And once I wake up, thats it.

Now I know that this is part and parcel of the last trimester of pregnancy, but I'm over it. Work is really stressing me out, there is so much going on, and now when I wake up, I just cant seem to drop off again. Bubs has also taken to doing a "corkscrew" impersonation during this time, or at least thats what it feels like!

Last night we had a huge storm in SE Qld, huge claps of thunder too - so we decided to bring Elke inside for the night because she was really freaked out. Its the first time we've had her in the bedroom (on the floor) and while she did settle down and go to sleep, she's a really "snuffly" dog and all I could hear was her heavy breathing and snorting. I woke up around 1.30am and the storm had passed, eventually at 2.30am (I was still awake) after listening to her grunt and snort for an hour, I got up and put her out (much to her disgust!).

But still couldn't sleep, so at 3.30 I decided to get up, no point lying there NOT sleeping. So another night of 3-4 hours sleep. *Sigh*.

I have 16 days of work left. I'm really thinking that the stress is not worth it, and see if I can take my maternity leave a week earlier than planned.

I'm planning on suspending my gym membership in the next day or two. I haven't been in several weeks, and I really just dont have the energy at the moment so I'll just keep up the walking a few days a week with Miss Elke.

I had my 33 week hospital visit on Wednesday, and its all looking good. Tic tac's head has descended already - I was hoping that meant it might come on time (or even a day or two early would be nice!) but apparently it aint so!

A friend of ours had her second bub on Tuesday morning - a gorgeous little girl. Wednesday night we went to visit them in hospital, and my hubby was quite smitten with the beautiful little bundle. He even held her for ages, he said he needed some practice holding a baby! I kept saying that its hard to believe that we'll have one of our own in a few weeks - freaky!

We have our ante-natal class tomorrow! Just gotta get through today...

Pregnancy observations

2009-10-30T14:46:00.002+10:00

Having never been pregnant before, I've experienced a few things that have quite surprised me. Such as:

A pregnant belly feels HARD. Like a fully inflated basket ball. I thought it would be soft and squishy!

My hair is growing at all sorts of different rates. The hair on my head is growing fairly steadily, underarm hair is growing super fast though and requires almost daily shaving! But the hair on my legs has barely grown at all in the last few months, and most strange of all - my eyebrows - I last waxed them just before my wedding in June, and since then I think I've had to pluck a random hair about twice (yes that’s in total, in 4 months!)

My fingernails are growing like the clappers, I'm having to fill my acrylic in every 3 weeks, where I used to stretch it to 4 weeks.

Leg cramps in the night are most unpleasant, especially thigh and hamstring cramps - ouch. I never even knew it was possible to get a thigh cramp.

The little bugger has started punching and squishing and bashing into my bladder, to the point where a couple of times I've had to cross my legs, squeeeeeze those pelvic floor muscles… and hope for the best!

Random strangers often talk to me. It seems that many people love a pregnant woman, especially if its your first. People look at me and smile. I've struck up conversations with random sales clerks, big burly butchers, staff at Queensland Transport, bank officers etc - whereas before they would barely even look up.

I'm forgetful. Really, really forgetful. Hubby finds it particularly annoying! I never had a great memory beforehand, but its even worse now.

I drop things. A lot. The harder I try NOT to drop things, the more I drop them.

Putting on lace-up shoes (like gym shoes) is proving to be more difficult as time goes by. Same goes for putting on socks, painting toe nails, and picking up the stuff that I dropped.

Everything is done with a grunt. Bend over to pick something up - grunt. Get out of bed or out of a chair - grunt. Walk up the stairs at work - grunt and rest at the top.

Your feet get bigger. No kidding, its supposedly because the bones and muscles relax. Some say that they never go back to the original size. So what do I do with all my beautiful size 8 shoes????

Still, I think I've been pretty lucky so far. No stretch marks yet. And with 8 weeks to go, I've gained just on 10kgs. First time in the 70's! Fingers crossed my target of putting on no more than 15kgs is achievable. Blood pressure is still normal, glucose test results were fine. I've also not experienced any cravings, or had any symptoms of nesting yet. (Can you believe we still haven't got any furniture for tic tac's room yet!! Maybe this weekend) My major complaint at the moment is that I'm just extremely TIRED.

Last Friday we went for our 3D/4D ultrasound, and got some amazing photos of little tic tac. We ended up with about 130 images, plus a DVD of the whole thing. I will leave you with a couple of the best photos.

Have an awesome weekend!

Photos! and other stuff...

2009-10-13T07:17:00.011+10:00

Thought I'd update with a few photos this week.

Here's a pic of the new house - this is the side of the house. You can see the temporary fence that we built a few weeks ago to keep Miss Elke in. To the right of the tree in the middle is our fully screened patio area. The house is pretty much smack bang in the middle of the 1.5 acres, so the neighbours aren't too close :-)

More of the backyard - this is the area that we fenced off . If you look closely, on the right hand edge of this photo you can see the corner of the screened-in patio.

This was a classic - Connor discovering the local wildlife! This bird was absolutely obsessed with its reflection in the glass - it sat there for about half an hour gazing lovingly at its own image, totally unaware that there was a cat on the other side going bananas and wanting to catch it, and very frustrated that he couldn't!!

In the end Connor was the one who gave up in disgust.

Elke - I had just put some Advantix on her, and she was not happy with me. She refused to make eye contact with me for the photo!

Baby bump last week (at 29 weeks)

We went to a wedding on Saturday and I wore heels. Flat shoes with dresses just dont look right on me... I had to stand a fair bit though, and ended up with swollen ankles again, and back pain for a few days. The things we do for style! Although I feel that at this point in time, nothing is going to make me look good LOL. This weekend is another wedding, and I'm trying to decide if I can get away with flat shoes... maybe I'll have to wear pants, but I'd rather not! Maybe I'll just try to sit down as much as possible instead, and wear the heels? Or am I just being silly?

I'm getting to the point in this pregnancy where I'm starting to complain a bit! Oooh my back hurts, leg cramps in the middle of the night, I cant bend over and do up my shoes, or paint my toe nails because there's this big belly in the way, heartburn, I'm so tired all the time!... etc etc. I catch myself and think "you of all people should not be complaining, after the dramas it took to actually GET pregnant" So I'm trying to suck it up and just get on with it.

I have caught myself waddling a few times in the last week or two - and I have instantly corrected my gait LOL - ahhhh its SO glamourous!

Todays excitement came when I felt the heel of a FOOT pushing out of my belly. Its the first time I've actually been able to almost name a body part. Cute.

I went to a morning tea on Sunday, and one of the girls there had a 9 week old baby. Everyone was doing the "Pass the baby" thing, and I felt horrible that I STILL didn't have the slightest urge to cuddle a baby. The sum total of my baby holding experience in my entire life would probably add up to less than one our - that is including ALL babies that I've ever held. I thought I might be different once I was pregnant, but, um, I'm not. I've also never changed a nappy before. This baby is going to come out and I'm not going to have the slightest clue what to do with it.

I hope its different when its your own?

I'm also wondering when this supposed "nesting" instinct is going to kick in, cos so far it hasn't surfaced....

10 weeks to go - eeek!

Its starting to feel like home :)

2009-10-06T21:22:00.003+10:00

For me, the sun is starting to come out again. When I think back over the last few months - its been HUGE. All the stuff that’s been going on - getting married, putting the house on the market, having open houses, buying a house, organising finance, having to put our much-loved dog down and grieving over him, packing and moving house, unpacking, buiding a fence at the new place, starting a new temporary managers role at work, AND being pregnant - well, its no wonder I had been feeling so overwhelmed and "flat" for the last few months.

But I'm starting to feel good again. There is less stuff to stress over, and more stuff to look forward to now. Starting to look ahead to the next few months as we finally get to buy a few things for the baby's room. We'd been holding off on any big purchases because there didn't seem much point doing it before we moved. So now we can get a stroller, cot, change table etc - oh and we also have to get a car for me, because pretty soon I have to give the company car back :( bugger!

We have started talking about getting another dog too - its been a month now since we lost Shavez, and it feels like it might be ok to get another one soon. It also might help us heal emotionally. Elke has become even more precious to me lately. She is such a gorgeous little girl, and is such a good indoor dog. Even Connor the cat is tolerating her being inside so much now. She has become my shadow, sitting at our feet when we're on the lounge, or comes up at random to give us hugs and kisses. I don’t know if she can sense my pregnancy, but she's certainly been a great companion lately. Isn't she a cutie?

There are a few things we need to get for the new house, but one of the things on the list was to finally get with the 21st century and get a big screen plamsa TV. We went out window shopping on Sunday - and yep, you guessed it - we came home with a new telly! It’s 50 inch - its MASSIVE! We are not really big TV watchers, but hubby wanted to watch Bathurst this weekend on a big screen - spoilt!

We have such a busy month ahead of us - including weddings on the next two weekends. Hubby is in the bridal party for one of them too. Normally I would buy a new dress for a wedding, but I decided to try on a few of my current dresses this time - and I found two that still fit, despite the big preggo belly! Not keen on buying something new that I wont get to wear again, so they will have to do. Feeling like a whale at the moment, so I don’t think much is going to make me look good somehow! Will get some photos taken if I remember.

Did a lower body training session at the gym on Monday, and took Elke for a walk this morning to expore some of the new suburb. Tomorrow I'm going to gym for an upper body session, and Thursday I'm planning a sleep in! Although sleep is getting to be a bit of a luxury at the moment, the other night I actually feel like I pulled a muscle in my stomach just from rolling over!

It really is amazing what the human body can do - I have a little being inside me right now that is about 27cms long from head to bum - now THAT is amazing! I also keep looking down at my growing belly with a degree of fright - this thing keeps getting bigger, and its got to come out down there! 11 weeks to go!

All moved in

2009-09-30T08:08:00.003+10:00

OMG what a week!

We are now moved in to our new place, and I just have to say - I am NEVER moving again! Aaarrrggghh!!! What a pain in the butt!

We thought we were doing great on Friday morning, (remember, we hired trucks and moved ourselves) - and by 11am we had one truck loaded with all the outside stuff. Hubby is a carpenter/builder, so he has a large amount of building materials that needed to me moved (and they say that I'M the hoarder!!). Then it was on to the inside stuff - which quickly filled the second truck WAY before the house was empty.

Why on earth do TWO people need to live in a four bedroom house, with enough furniture and crap for 6 people??

Anyway, then the boys had to take the loaded trucks down to the new place (15 mins away) and unload them in the new yard, then bring the empty trucks back for more loading. Ugh. There was no way in hell we were going to be out of there by settlement time (3pm) - so I had to ring the real estate and apologise. We didn't get out of there until almost 6pm!!

So that meant that we didn't get to the new place until after dark - unloading in the dark has got to be a movers worst nightmare. Thank goodness for friends and family for all their help, and if we EVER move again - can we please get removalists in????

Everybody did too much - everybody was wrecked by Saturday. Even hubby admitted he underestimated the job and was wrecked (and thats a big thing for him to admit!). I was a mess. I found the day to be extremely frustrating. Everyone kept saying "dont you lift that" or "put that down - you're meant to be taking it easy" - but seriously, you cant sit down and relax while everyone else is working their arse off. So I worked all day and ended up with swollen ankles, a WICKED varicose vein in my left leg and lower back pain that wont go away.

Its so frustrating when you know what you are normally capable of, but because of pregnancy you just cant do it anymore. I felt quite weak and useless, and I'm not used to feeling like that.

Nevermind, we're in now... I've got this week off work, so I've been slowly unpacking and doing what I can. I got hit with heartburn/indigestion from hell on Monday - which turned into a mild version of those stomach pains I used to get a few years ago. I was up all night doubled over, my whole digestion felt like it was on fire. Thats what you get when you eat crap for a few days, or get so busy that you forget to eat and then overeat as a consequence. Lesson learned. Heartburn is still there (one of those lovely side effects of pregnancy) but I'm feeling better. The stress of everything hasn't helped, I feel very overwhelmed by it all at the moment.

Elke has become an indoor dog, which we love. She is following me around like a lost sheep, I cant move from one room to the next without her following me everywhere. She is loving the acreage, but is still a little apprehensive about it. Its not fully fenced yet, so she gets to explore it under supervision at the moment, and gets locked inside an enclosed patio area to sleep, or when we go out. She is such a good indoor dog, but I wonder how long it will last - once she's used to this place she'll probably want to be outside again!

Ooh yeah - I'm going for a pregnancy massage today - cant wait! I'm also going to get an iphone tomorrow, because pretty soon I'm going to have to give back my work mobile (and laptop - boohoo!) so I thought I'd treat myself to a new toy :) Only 8 weeks of work left - yahoo! 12 weeks til we meet tic tac, eeek!

Random Stuff

2009-09-22T21:22:00.003+10:00

Our houses (selling and buying) are scheduled to settle simultaneously on Friday… so we are madly packing, cleaning and throwing-away. I don’t think I've been exerting myself too much, although my back begs to differ at the end of the day and just aches and aches. I'm so front heavy now, that even just sitting for an extended period makes my back hurt. I packed up some of the kitchen on the weekend for about an hour, and then had to sit down for an hour to rest - just so tired!

I'm excited about moving, but also a bit sad because Shavez's presence is still so real here. At the new house, although it will be easier for us to look to the future, our memories of him wont be there at that house. Elke seems to be coping ok - she doesn't want to be inside anymore, I bring her in every night for dinner, and afterwards she stands at the door and waits patiently to be let outside again.

I have started in an Acting Branch Manager role at my work - Its sort of a "caretaker" position until I go on maternity leave in about 10 weeks, so its all good experience for me, and was nice to be asked! But it has been quite challenging, trying to learn new stuff whilst suffering from baby brain! As of this Thursday, I have a week and a half off to move house, and then unpack at leisure. Although, I have so many appointments organised for next week that I'm still going to be super busy.

Tic tac is going fine, lots of kicking - usually in the bladder, usually once I've laid down to go to bed, or at 3.30am. I think tic tac takes after its dad and is going to be a Muay Thai kickboxer! I have to go for my gestational diabetes blood tests next Tuesday - fingers crossed! The latest thing we have discovered is that you can now actually SEE my belly move when it kicks - its like I've got this alien being inside me wriggling about - kinda freaky being able to actually watch the skin move. Hubby reckons we're not far off from being able to try the Malteasers thing (like on the TV ad).

Training in the last few weeks has been a bit dismal since we lost Shavez - making it to the gym about one day a week, and taking Elke for 3-4 walks a week. I guess I'm still fairly active though, especially with all the packing going on. I still have a little bit of muscle definition left in my arms. Have gained 7kgs to date, which hopefully at 27 weeks pregnant isn't too bad. Although everyone keeps telling me that the last trimester is when you stack it on, especially fluid! I'm also told that my belly will probably double in size - I don’t know how the skin could possibly stretch any further though!

I went along to the QLD INBA's on Sunday to cheer on Kristin in her first figure comp. Kristin looked so graceful on stage, and so confident too! It was lovely to be there as part of her cheersquad, you were awesome and did yourself proud Kristin! I also met one of our IBO clients Geraldine, and briefly met Tiarna and said hi to Shannon.

Anyway, thats whats happening in my world. Feeling a bit flat and overwhelmed with everything at the moment.

Getting through the days

2009-09-11T07:02:00.002+10:00

Its been a week today since we said goodbye to our dog Shavez. It feels like I'm marking time, I guess I am. I know that time will make it feel more bearable.

Thank you all so much for your beautiful comments on my last couple of posts, each and every one was special - thank you all for your wonderful support. I find blogging to be theraputic in some ways, so it helps me to write my thoughts down. I suppose its a tool I use to cope. Being pregnant probably makes it all seem much more emotional too.

I can now think about Shavez without becoming a blubbering mess. I can even talk about him to other people. I thought I was doing ok this week - I got through Tuesday and Wednesday without any tears, then on Wednesday night hubby said 4 words to me that set me (and him) off crying again "Shavez comes home tomorrow".

So he is home now in his memorial box. There is room in the box for his collar, and a small ball and photos. I got home last night to find hubby crying his heart out again - looking at photos on the computer... he said he felt stupid doing it, but he hugged the box... At least he will always be with us.

Our house is now sold - and if all goes well we'll be moving to our new place in 2 weeks. We threw ourselves into packing last Saturday as a way of distracting ourselves. While we're looking forward to the new place, its bitter sweet. All the memories are here. But then again, it might be good for us to have a fresh start, and make new memories without seeing him everywhere each time we go outside.

I have been playing the "what if" game this week. I suppose its a natural part of losing someone you love. What if I had taken him to the vet sooner? What if I hadn't taken him on that last walk where he fell over again - maybe thats what did his back in? What if I'd called the doggie chiropracter?

I've also been playing the "I wish" game. I know its pointless. I wish I'd brought them both inside more often, I wish I'd stopped to give him more cuddles instead of rushing off to work in the mornings. I wish I'd taken them on more walks... I wish he was going to be here to meet tic tac...

I'm throwing myself into taking care of Elke and helping her cope. She comes in every night now (much to Connor the cat's disgust), hubby is playing frisbee with her every day, and I'm taking her for walks as many times as I can. I dont think she understands why she's inside so much now (she loves it though). I wonder if she knows whats happened. She is probably just waiting for us to bring him home, like we've always done in the past.

I've been setting my alarm for gym every morning - only to wake up feeling exhausted every day and not going. So I decided to have the rest of this week off. Next week I will get back into it. I have completely forgotten about being pregnant too - tic tac is still kicking away, but has been a bit quieter than normal, or maybe I just haven't been noticing. Last weekend was hard because I didn't feel like eating. I tried to force myself, but only because I know I've got to look after this little human being inside me. Maybe thats why I've been so ravenous these last few days!

Anyway, I will endeavour to be a bit more cheery in my next post.

The hardest goodbye

2009-09-05T21:09:00.008+10:00

R.I.P. our beautiful boy Shavez...

Thank you for all your kind comments. We have had the most heart breaking week.

Poor Shavez's X-rays weren't good. Apart from the problems with his spine and discs, the results showed that his lungs were riddled with tumours. The vet said that it was surprising that he was still breathing as well as he was, and that it wouldn't be long before he was coughing blood and bleeding from the lungs. Everything was inoperable. The vet also said he would never walk again, so any time that we had left with him - we'd really only be delaying the inevitable.

At 5pm on Thursday, we went to pick him up from the vet. He could no longer walk or move much, so we went out the back to see him in the cage. He was wrapped in a doona because they'd shaved him (to try to find the tick that didn't exist) and had been cold. He was distressed, but SO happy to see us. His eyes lit up when he saw hubby - those two had such a special bond, I never had a hope of winning the same level of affection that Shavez had for my husband - they both adored each other.

So we talked to the vet, talked about the Xrays, and then took Shavez home for one last time. It was a mission getting him into the car, we had to use a stretcher, and the poor boy cried because it obviouly hurt to be moved.

Once we got him home, we settled him on his big foam mattress - right in the lounge room. This was his favourite place to be. He loved being close to us, as coming inside was always a bit of a treat for them, both dogs spent most of their time outside.

He was ravenous, so we gave him lots of treats. He has cleaned us out of Schmackoes, doggie chocs, and liver treats. He was also extremely thirsty, I think we filled his water bowl up 4 or 5 times during the night. Miss Elke came in and spent some time with him too.

Hubby's family came to say their goodbyes. It was so very very sad. We all sat around him on the floor, patting him, cuddling and kissing him - the whole family got to tell him how much they loved him and would miss him. Poor Shavez probably didn't understand what was going on, but I guess all he knew was that all his favourite people had come to say hello.

After the family left, he seemed to be in a lot more pain. I think the anesthetic had started to wear off by then, because he started crying... pretty much non-stop for the rest of the night. We tried everything to ease his pain - heat packs, moving him to different positions, I rubbed arnica all down his spine and gave him massages... the arnica seemed to help for a little bit, and we all were able to doze lightly for 30 minutes or so.

But there was no sleep for anyone. Hubby and I stayed up all night with him, patting him, cuddling him, crying for him, crying for us... we got to tell him many many times over how much he meant to us, and how much we'd miss him. We tried to make his final few hours as comfortable as possible.

To be honest, I felt so horrible for putting him through another night of pain. I felt like we should have made the decision on Thursday. But I do know that he loved being home... and I know that he loved the attention, and everyone coming to see him. It also made our decision to do what was best for him, and have him put to sleep, so much easier. There was no way in the world we would have put him through any more pain. But at least we got to see that for ourselves. And we got to pamper him one last time.

The frustrating thing was that Shavez was STILL a playful pup til the end. We gave him a tennis ball to chomp, and he popped that so easily, and with such gusto! He loved it. Then we gave him a squeaky ball that I'd had in the cupboard - he just LOVES squeaky balls! He squeaked that like crazy, he went nuts for it. We captured that on video - but its distressing to watch too, not only because you can hear me and hubby sobbing in the background, but because it showed that it was still "Shavez" - his beautiful personality was still there. We keep saying - "The mind was willing, but the body just wasn't able".

When the sun finally came up, our decision was made. As soon as the vet was open we were going to say goodbye. One of our good mates came around - he has always loved Shavez, so he asked if he could come to say goodbye too. He stayed with us until it was time to take him to the vets.

Hubbys parents came up to the vets office. Shavez had the four of us gathered around him at the end. He didn't understand what was going on (he was actually excited to be going in the car again) and we were all overcome with grief. I have never stayed with a pet when they have been put to sleep before. I was looking into his eyes, and I saw the light go out once it was over. He was at peace.

I cant believe he's gone. I see him everywhere. The whole yard is him. I cant go to the veggie patch, because I see him follow me in and dig up the soil. I hung washing out today and thought "last Saturday when I hung washing out, he came up and we had a cuddle". I hear him whinging at the screen door because he wants his dinner. Only its not him. He's not here anymore. Its so hard to believe that last week he was here, and seemed fine - and now he's gone.

I keep thinking "he's just a dog - get over it!". But he wasn't just a dog, he really was a HUGE part of our family. He was like the dignified old man, the heartbeat of the family. He has left an enormous hole in our hearts, and our lives.

I hope you are resting well, my beautiful Shavez. I will miss you always. I will see you again one day..... always in our hearts.

My heart is breaking

2009-09-03T07:58:00.002+10:00

My heart is breaking as I write this post. Our beautiful Alaskan Malamute - Shavez, is unwell and I dont know how much longer he's got left with us.

Lately when I walk the dogs, he’s been a little unsteady on his feet, sometimes slipping over etc. The vet has had him on treatment for arthritis, because he's 13 years old, which they say is REALLY old for such a big dog.

On Tuesday night I noticed that he didn’t get up to eat his dinner, so I put the bowl down in front of him – he ate it all so we just thought he was a bit sore. Then yesterday morning when I got home from gym I noticed that he hadn’t moved (and he was a bit whiney), and when I tried to get him to get up, despite his valiant efforts, he just couldn’t seem to get his legs to work properly. I even tried standing over him and hoisting his upper body up, but he was a dead weight and his front paws just curled over when they touched the ground. I did get him to take a couple of drunken steps but he fell straight over again. I was a wreck over this, actually, I was hysterical, but convinced myself that once the day warmed up a bit he would improve. When I left for work, Elke was just sitting beside him, looking down at him as if to say “Come on, why aren't you getting up??"

When I got home yesterday afternoon, hubby said he was worried about Shavez, so I told him what had happened in the morning and he burst into tears, which set me off again too. So we went out to him and he tried to get him to stand up, and the same thing happened. We rang the vet, who said we should look for a paralysis tick, and bring him straight up there. We flew up there in a panic, and virtually had to carry Shavez (all 45kgs of him) into the consult room, and laid him down there. Vet thought the symptoms were strange, but a tick was his number one suspect. We had to leave him there and they had to shave him down last night to see if they could find one (he’s too hairy to find it normally).

So at about 8pm last night they rang us to say that they couldn’t find a tick, so he next suspected a slipped/herniated disc in his back – but wont know until xrays today. They also think it could be a tumour in his spine, which might stem from his tail removal episode last year. Either way, they've told us he’s too old to have surgery, as they don’t think he’d make it. Either way, it feels like the end.

We have both spent the night and morning sobbing our hearts out. Our pets are like our children, they mean so much to us. It doesn’t feel like theres much hope. I guess we just have to wait and see what the xrays show, and maybe, just maybe its treatable with anti-inflammatories or steroids or something (as long as theres no tumour). I’m also going to ring my chiropractor and see what he thinks.

It breaks my heart. It makes us feel so bad that poor Shavez had to spend the night at the vets, shaved naked and not knowing whats going on, or why we’ve abandoned him. And poor Elke is confused too, we cant explain to her why he's not here, or whats happening. She has never known life without him.

Please keep him in your thoughts...

Another boring update from me...

2009-08-22T15:54:00.005+10:00

Finally took out my belly button ring this week – it was starting to get itchy, and wasn’t really inside my navel anymore, it was kinda riding on top of it. My belly button is THIS close to becoming an “outie” – ewwww! I was playing with my belly button the other night – when I push around the edges of it, it kinda squishes out a bit to look like a cats bum LOL! Raised a smile from hubby anyway.

On Friday I got dressed for work and discovered that most of the shirts I have ironed and ready to wear, wont button up without the buttons looking like they are going to burst. So its been a challenge to try to find something to wear to work!

So I discovered a Trade Secret shop this weekend, had a looksee and found that they sold maternity clothes too. Got 2 more maternity bras, and 4 stretchy cotton tops that I can wear for work and weekends - all for a bargain price, yay!

Yesterday morning hubby finally felt tictac kicking for the first time! I was so happy (and so was he) because I think he'd been feeling a bit left out of the whole process, it was like tictac and I had this "secret" thing going on, and everytime I'd say "quick, its kicking!!" - it would stop - little bugger!

I'm feeling completely knackered today. Last night after hubby went to bed, I stayed up to watch The Notebook... have you seen it? The last time I watched it (years ago) I ended up a complete blubbering mess, and last night was no exception. I think I used about half a box of tissues! So there I was at midnight last night, sobbing over this lovely movie... with a packet of Lindor chocolate, and my cat on my lap to comfort me... only problem is that today I have really puffy, sore eyes from all the crying! Silly pregnant woman...

Anyway, enough boring ramblings from me. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

"Pop"

2009-08-16T14:39:00.004+10:00

I have finally "popped" in the belly department - and I actually look pregnant (well I think so anyway!). Its nice, I'm actually enjoying it! I keep looking at myself side on in the mirror and thinking "OH MY GOD, I'm a pregnant woman!!"

Stupid thing is, now people are saying things like "you're showing so early!" - GAAHGGHHH!! So in some peoples eyes, I'm not big enough, and in others - I'm showing very early - give me strength!

I used to look at pregnant women and wonder why they always rubbed their hands on their bellies, or why they would rest their hand there... and now I find myself doing both of those things. I dont know why, I guess because its just "there"!

For me too its a bit strange, because I never knew what a pregnant belly felt like. Apart from those very brief moments when a friend would let me feel their tums if their baby was kicking - but you still dont know what its going to feel like when its your own. I am surprised that its quite a hard bump actually, I suppose I thought it would feel a bit wobbly, like fat! I go to give hubby a hug, and there is this round, solid "basketball" in the way!

Anyway, other stuff:

We have a contract on our house already!! We actually were under contract the day after we went on the market last weekend. Pretty neat huh? But we're not getting too carried away just yet - its still subject to finance, and builders and pest. When we sold our last place we had the first contract crash due to finance, so I'm holding off on the celebration party for now.

I have been very very stressed this week - me and buying/selling houses is not a good mix. I dont sleep too well. I've actually been getting off to sleep ok, but I keep waking up at 3am and then just dozing lightly until its time to get up (good practice for when tic tac is here).

Yesterday we put a contract on another house, and we are stoked. It still needs a bit of renovations to modernise it a bit, but nothing like the full-scale extension we did on our current house. The things that need doing can be done quickly, before tic tac arrives. The new place is on 1.5 acres - and we've always wanted acreage, so its very exciting. But again, we're trying to contain ourselves because it still revolves around the contract on our place going through, and our own finances coming back ok.

So that's been the main focus of our weekend, finding some place to live. I haven't got any other exciting news, so I will catch you all later!

Busy week

2009-08-10T08:29:00.002+10:00

We had such a busy week (and weekend), mostly due to the fact that we have finally put our house on the market! I know, I know, not a great time right?? Apparently houses are still selling quite well in our area, so we will wait and see. Also, being 21 weeks pregnant means that we have a deadline, so if nothing happens then we will stay right here. But it also means keeping the house spotless, which sucks (I'm not really the tidiest person around!!)

I have had a crappy fortnight at work, with customers really starting to do my head in. I work in the building industry, and I've really just about had enough. Bring on maternity leave! Only 15 weeks to go until I can stop work for a while and hopefully have a few weeks of "me" time before tic tac arrives (thats when the HARD work begins!)

I had a few moments last week where I was in such a bad mood, I just really wanted a glass of wine. GAH! Bloody pregnancy! I had a lemon, lime and bitters in a wine glass and pretended it was the real thing.

Had THREE gym sessions last week (go me!) and felt great. Did another cycle class on Thursday morning - it was a different instructor and he did this weird hover-thing, except that you put all your body weight forward so that your knees are scraping the sides of the bike. My knees didn't like that at all, and hurt for 2 days afterwards. Think I might skip that part if he is there this week.

Starting to get paranoid because people keep telling me that my bump is so small, and asking if there is actually anything in there. I keep thinking "so should I be bigger?? Does this mean that tic tac isn't growing enough??" Drives you mental. I just keep thinking back to my 19 week scan which showed that tic tac is the right length compared to weeks...

Last Thursday was Elke's 6th birthday. Elke is our border collie X Keeshond. She got a new frisbee and lots of play and cuddles (she's on a diet, so no birthday dinner!) I found these pictures of her when she was just a few weeks old, so I thought I'd share them... she was about the same size as Connor the cat here!! (She's now about 20kgs!)

Anyway, I'm having my Ekka public holiday today, so I'd better go and get stuff done I guess! Have a great week everyone!

Photo update

2009-07-31T07:29:00.011+10:00

We had our 19 week scan on Wednesday, and I was relieved to hear that everything is where it should be! Tic tac has 2 arms and legs, both the right length, got to see the heart with 4 chambers pumping away correctly, kidneys are there and working fine, head is the right shape etc - so its all good! It took a long time - about 45 minutes all up. Most of it was diagnostic stuff, so it was really hard to recognise what you were looking at without the sonographer explaining as he went. We only got a few good looks at tic tac's face - here is one of the 3D images of its face:

It was also cool to see the hands - in the pic on the right you can see a little fist with its thumb stuck out! Nice to see all the bones too :)

And the feet:

Also, here are a few progress shots of the tic tac belly - this is at 14 weeks, when I could still just about do up the button of my work pants:

This is at 16 weeks -

And now at 19 weeks. Doesn't look to be much difference between 16 and 19 weeks, but I can feel it! At home I'm living in my Lorna Jane Flash Dance pants (I'm glad I've got a few pairs now!) and with my work pants the zipper is now halfway unzipped. Belly bands have become my best friend :)

This photo was taken a few weeks ago, I thought it was funny. We bought this mattress for Shavez (the big one) because he's a bit old and arthritic these days (especially in winter) and the vet suggested he needed something thicker to sleep on to keep the cold away. So we got him this mattress and put a thinner foam over the top. I just thought this was a classic - Shavez is huddled on the smallest strip on thin foam, while little miss Elke (young and fit and healthy!) is stretched out like a queen on the big mattress!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Advice wanted!

2009-07-24T09:03:00.002+10:00

I know that lots of pregnant women dont like people giving them advice, but I'm soaking it all up since I have no idea what I'm doing! So I wanted to ask a few questions for you blogging mums out there!!

What are some of the things that you bought (for either pregnancy or for the baby) that you thought you'd use heaps, but never did - or used once and never used again?
What sort of pram is best? All I know is that I want a light weight one! 3-wheeler? 4-wheeler? Brand?
If you used a breast pump, did you use manual or electric?
Baby sling/Baby Bjorn thing - any thoughts?
Nappy wrapper buckets - any good?

I have a million questions, but that will do for now LOL!

Yesterday I did a cycle class again. This time I spoke to the instructor beforehand and told him I was pregnant and he gave me some tips, including raising the handlebars since I'm now a bit "front-heavy". I tried not to go all-out, but he did chastise me a little (good-naturedly of course!) afterwards for going a bit too hard... I just cant help myself!!

I got a bit of light DOMS from an upper body workout this week, which was nice. I didn't particularly lift anything heavier than I have been, so I dont know what that was about. But it was nice to feel my muscles again for a few days!

I've stayed home sick today because yesterday my left tonsil swelled up like a balloon full of razors. The chemist wouldn't let me have anything except Butter Menthols and panadol. Today my throat feels better, but I'm feeling thick in the head and am coughing so I thought I should stay home rather than share my germs around at the office. I'm trying not to get paranoid about swine... Pregnancy and swine doesn't seem to be a good mix at the moment :(

We have our 19 week ultrasound next Wednesday - cant wait to see tic tac again! I'm starting to really look pregnant now, which is exciting and bizarre at the same time LOL!

Week 17 random stuff

2009-07-16T07:50:00.007+10:00

Wow, time is just flying! Cant believe we've been married for over a month now!

Things are good, but I'm feeling a lot more tired. I sleep well, but I'm dreaming a lot. I read that its common in pregnancy to get a lot of REM sleep, but you miss out on some deep sleep. That must be whats happening. Plus, every time I roll over, I wake up - mainly because my belly is starting to get a little uncomfortable, but also because sometimes when I roll over I get a sharp abdominal pain like I've pulled a muscle.

Middle of the night toilet stops have diminished - I can go right through without having to get up now! Although I've heard that this will again start up once I get bigger - oh the joy! Hopefully the weather will be warmer by then.

I have a little belly now, and its so cute! Although I'm still at the stage where I just look a bit fat, rather than pregnant! Lucky its winter and I can wear longer jackets. I've got really really itchy skin though, and its driving me mental.

I'm slowly adjusting to the granny knickers now (note: granny knickers are anything other than a g-string) but I still wear a g-string a few days a week - but its getting a bit uncomfortable.

Had my first hospital visit yesterday and it was all good - mainly just filling out paperwork and answering heaps of questions. Had a weigh in , which I didn't like much - their scales had me 2kgs heavier than mine at home! Boohoo! LOL! Although I was fully clothed, with shoes on, and it was 4pm, a bit different to my own weigh ins. Its weird watching the scales go up, and being ok with it. I haven't put on too much yet, but I know I've lost some muscle.

Did have a bit of a fright when she listed for tic tac's heartbeat - and for about 15 seconds, she couldn't find it... I think I stopped breathing until she did!! But there it was, nice and strong and loud - phew!

I got given a bag of goodies to take home (I love sample bags!!) which was full of pamphlets, brochures, sample creams and nappies etc. I read them all last night while hubby watched the State of Origin - I dont think I glanced up even once!! Went to bed at half time though - did we win????

I did a cycle class this morning, the first one in about 8 weeks. It was nice to do something different, and I managed to hold myself back for the majority of the class, not pushing too much or getting my heart rate too high (until the last track, then I kinda forgot myself a bit and went hard - oops). It was nice to do something in a group atmosphere again!

Anyway, enough ramblings! Here's a few more wedding photos...

These white Havaianas were such a great idea for the wedding reception - once the speeches were over I kicked off my heels and put these on - I was so comfortable and was able to dance the night away in them! Not so glamourous, but hey, comfort rules I reckon!

An exciting moment!

2009-07-09T08:23:00.002+10:00

On Tuesday morning I was lying in bed, arguing with myself to get up and go to gym. "Come ON - get up get up get up" etc. For some reason I rolled onto my stomach (and I'm not a tummy sleeper) and said out loud "Come on tic tac, lets get up"...

and I felt a little flutter in my lower abdomen...

I laid there on my stomach with my eyes bulging out of my head... thinking oh wow, was that the baby I just felt moving???? Naaaah, its too soon - I'm only 16 weeks, must have just imagined it. Dont be silly...

Nevertheless, I laid there for a few more minutes - waiting, wondering - and nothing. So I sighed and said "Ok tic tac, we're getting up now"

another little flutter!!

I was so so excited! Got up and tried to explain it to hubby - Remember when you used to blow bubbles with dishwashing liquid? Remember how it used to feel having the bubbles burst on your skin? Thats the best way I could describe the sensation. I haven't felt it since, but then I've been pretty busy, and at this stage the feelings are so gentle that I dont think I would feel it unless it was very quiet, I laid very still and concentrated hard.

I have my first appointment with the hospital next Wednesday!

Good luck to everyone competing this weekend at the All Females - cant wait to hear how it all goes!!

Stuff...

2009-07-03T16:51:00.003+10:00

Well I'm still here and plodding along nicely, 15 weeks pregnant now, only 25 weeks to go! It sounds like forever, but I know it will come around fast.

For the last week and a half I've had to undo the top bottom of my work pants, as I'm just starting to have a little "pooch" and its getting uncomfortable otherwise. I went a bought a belly-belt thingo, but its a bit early yet to start using it. The pants are a size 10, hopefully they'll fit for a bit longer yet.

I'm also finding that a lot of my work shirts, and casual singlets aren't long enough to cover the fact that my button is undone.

The other day in the office my mobile phone rang on the other side of the room and I ran to get it - bad idea - SORE BOOBS! So I kept running while holding onto them LOL...

Its also a bit difficult in that I'm out on the road a lot with my job - and finding toilets. Its like I need to go every hour. On Tuesday I did one of my regular drives - to Toowoomba, then to Warwick, then home - you have to plan your toilet stops VERY carefully!

I'm finding my gym sessions a bit boring, there is only so much you can do whilst keeping your heart rate in the lower range. I did two weights sessions this week, but I cant say I'm really enjoying it much. From the second trimester on, the recommendation is that you try not to do any resistance training while standing, because your sense of balance and your centre of gravity changes. I'm using a lot more machines than I used to. Its all very interesting, but frustrating at the same time!

Anyway, nothing thrilling to report. Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!

Some wedding photos

2009-06-28T13:02:00.008+10:00

As promised, here are a few of our professional wedding photos. I'm so excited to have these already, as initially it was going to take 3-4 weeks to get them! We are extremely happy with them. Big thanks to Rezolution Photography!

I'm also happy that I dont look pregnant in the photos!

Here's a few of my favourites:

I will post a few more in the coming weeks.

Today I bought baby stuff for the first time, it was so exciting! I never thought I would get excited about buying baby singlets, nappies, baby wipes etc, but, well, it is! I was so excited that I sms'd hubby about it, and it turns out that he was at home on ebay looking at baby stuff too! (admittedly he was looking at Ford Racing baby jumpsuits, suitable for boy or girl, but hey - it still counts!)

Enjoy the rest of the weekend!

The journey up to now:

2009-06-25T16:50:00.003+10:00

Well, I want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone for all your comments and well wishes, I really appreciate each and every one of them, thank you so much!!

I am currently enjoying the "glow" of being pregnant, I dont remember ever being so happy and content in my life, now with a gorgeous husband and a bub on the way. It must be those 'happy hormones' that they tell you about :-) Life is great and I'm loving every minute :)

Back at gym this week after 2 weeks off (had a week off before and after the wedding) - did some piddly little weights on Tuesday, its taking some time adjusting to the different way of training, I'm so used to going as hard and as heavy as I can!

Received my wedding photos on disc today, so exciting! There are some really nice ones, so I will post them soon, maybe over the weekend.

I'm going to post my experiences of my first trimester now. Its part of a journal that I've been keeping ever since we started trying to get pregnant. I'm sure it will be long and boring for most of you, but I want to have it here for my records. Please feel free to tune out now!

25th April 2009 Saturday – SURPRISE!!

Ok, so after 4 attempts with clomid – nothing worked. I stopped drinking alcohol, removed coffee, and really concentrated hard on what we were trying to achieve. And nothing.

After 4 unsuccessful attempts, we decided to stop trying. Ob/gyn wanted me to have more tests, laproscopy, have my ovaries drilled etc. But, we’re getting married in June, so I said I wanted to wait until after that. She agreed.

So that was the plan.

In February, I stopped all treatment. I focused on getting this wedding organized. I drank coffee every day, drank alcohol like a fish.

And I’m now pregnant… go figure!

My period was 10 days late. I kept telling myself that it was going to start any minute. I kept getting little pains thinking that it was about to start, I tried not to think about it, and continued to drink coffee and alcohol. On Monday my boss asked me if I was ok, he said I was looking pale (who knew a man could notice such things?! Didn’t think anything of it at the time) Then on Tuesday we found out that a friend of ours is pregnant again. I got a little upset. Drank some more. Wednesday I still hadn’t got my period. So I decided that if it didn’t come by the time I got up for gym on Thursday morning, I would do a test.

Even so, when I got up on Thursday, I kept thinking – this is ridiculous, I can FEEL my period about to start, I’m just late. Plus, every time I go to Gympie (like I was on Thursday), I seem to get my period. So I decided that it wasn’t going to be any different.

It was positive. I think I went into shock.

I called OH in, and he was very very happy – even had tears in his eyes.

All day, up to Gympie and back, I kept thinking – I cant believe it, I cant believe it – I’m pregnant!

So, its early days yet. I am in about week 5-6 I think. I’m going back to the ob/gyn on Monday, hopefully we’ll have it all confirmed!

Feeling a bit weird about actually. Think I’m still in shock. I’m over the moon though! The worst thing is that I cant tell anyone! I think that after the ob/gyn confirms it, I’d like to tell both our parents.

No symptoms yet either – just a little tired, and little bit of dizziness.

Fingers crossed all goes well!

28th April 2009 Tuesday – 6 weeks pregnant

So far so good. Went to the Ob/gyn yesterday and she was quite happy for me, specially after a year and a half of tryin!

So I’ve got to have my blood tests on 25th of May, and first ultrasound on the 10th of June (3 days before the wedding!!). I was surprised that she didn’t do any tests on me, not even another pregnancy test. She just took my word for it! I did show her my own pregnancy test that I’d saved, so maybe that was enough. I think its too early anyway for much.

Due date is 22nd of December!

On Sunday I bought a whole heap of fruit, and then really REALLY felt like having some fruit/banana – I normally hate banana!! Not sure if that classifies as a craving, I doubt it.

Still feel fine, feeling tired this morning because I stayed up to watch the finale of the Biggest Loser, it was a late night for me. Felt a little light-headed during cycle class yesterday, even though I was faking it with the tension lever. Ob/gyn says to take it a little easier, and she doesn’t think I should do weights any more… boohoo. Don’t know that I’m happy about that.

Will have to get a referral to a public ob/gyn, since my current one is private, it would cost an absolute fortune to have this baby with her. Plus she doesn't work at the hospital that I want to go to.

So we’ll stick with her until after the first scan and blood test, then get the referral for public. Medibank wont kick in until February next year!!

I’m restraining myself from buying every pregnancy book and magazine under the sun!

Tuesday 5th May 2009 7 weeks pregnant

Yesterday (Labour day holiday) we broke the news to both sets of parents. My mum almost cried, she said she was never this excited when she found out SHE was pregnant!

OH's dad got all teary too. Although we explained that its very early days, and that anything could happen, I think we made their day. :)

Had a slight scare on Sunday night, I had a little spotting. I googled this though, and apparently its quite normal. As long as you aren’t bleeding red blood, and having severe abdominal pains, its fairly normal to have spotting during pregnancy. (What would I do without Google??)

Our Best Man to-be was here on Sunday, and he was testing his resting heart rate. His was 45 or something (he is so fit!), OH's was 60-something. Mine was 80. They were both “that cant be right”. I was thinking shit I’m unfit!

We did it quite a few times, and yep, mine was 80. Then OH and I looked at each other and went “ohhhh… I get it” and exchanged knowing glances. I was worried that it meant I was going to miscarry (same night as the spotting), but then I read yesterday that a pregnant womans resting heart rate is 20% higher, due to the increased load on the body.

Today I went to gym and did a 1st trimester pregnancy weight training session. I was almost embarrassed about how little weight I was lifting. I thought that people must be staring at me, thinking “wow, she’s not working very hard!”. Paranoid. Because obviously, it’s not common knowledge. And I don’t look any different. But now I have to train different, use baby weights and high reps.

I keep waiting for signs of pregnancy to whack me in the face. So far, the main thing has been sore boobs. I cant stop eating fruit – cant get enough mandarins. Previously, you’d have to force me to eat fruit.

Since Friday I’ve been feeling a little hung-over all day. Like I’ve been on a huge bender the night before, only, I haven’t.

I’ve become obsessed about my boobs. OH just laughs at me – he cant wait until they get bigger. Right now, they are firmer, but lumpy and sore.

I went and did the groceries on Saturday, and the sight of all the meat turned my stomach. I didn’t buy much meat this week because of that, so I’m not sure what this weeks meals will consist of!

I’m so hungry, all the time! I cant seem to fill the hole. Eating seems to keep the queasiness at bay, so I feel like I’m eating a lot more often. Like I’ll eat something, and an hour later, I’m ravenous again. Trying to make good choices, but there has been a lot less protein, and a lot more dairy and carbs on the menu. Trying to get more calcium in, so I’ll have a slice of vintage cheddar every day, with a few vita-weet. Plus about ½ cup of skim milk with my oats in the morning (had to chuck the cottage cheese out, don’t want to risk it, although its probably fine to have – I’d still class it as a soft cheese).

My toothpaste tastes horrible.

I’m calling it my little tic tac. That’s about the size at 5-6 weeks, and its much better than calling it “it”. I’ve been talking to tic tac a little bit, telling it to stay safe in there, be strong and healthy.

Still keeping fingers crossed!

Tuesday 12th May 2009 – 8 weeks pregnant

Tic tac is still with us!!

On Saturday night I got a bit of a scare, because there was more spotting, a bit more than last week. Panicked a little, but it went away again.

Went shopping with my maid of honour on Saturday for her bridesmaid dress – spent about 5 hours walking around Robina Town Centre, and I was knackered after that! Then I had to rush home and get ready for my friends hens night in the city.

I’m having to do lots of lying! I drove into the city on Saturday night, because we said I hadn’t been feeling well all day (more lies!). Then one friend was asking me about when we were planning to have kids, so I gave her the spiel – trying for 18 mths, stopped trying now and just concentrating on the wedding etc – feels bad, and you just want to tell people! I drank two soda waters with lime in a short glass, and it looked just like vodka and soda. Someone asked me what I was drinking though, so I had to tell her it was just soda.

Then when leaving I dropped two friends back to their places, and driving through the Valley at nearly 11pm, just totally put me off having my hens there. There was just this seething mass of teenagers, all drunk and wearing skimpy clothes, I just decided it wasn’t my cup of tea anymore, I’m too old for that now! Plus the fact that I cant drink doesn’t help. So we might do a day shopping tour instead.

Its difficult at gym. I haven’t been going as much, mostly because I’m so tired in the mornings! I did a cycle class yesterday morning, and was feeling pretty good, trying to keep the intensity down a little. After one sprint track, I slowed to take a drink and felt REALLY lightheaded… oops, think I went a bit too hard! After that I tried to take it easier, but its so difficult when you’re used to giving it 100%. I’m going to avoid group fitness classes for a bit, my competitive nature takes over and I cant help flogging myself!

I’m still obsessed about my boobs, they are so much bigger now! They are firm and perky, like an 18 year olds! I cant stop looking at them, and going “wow, this is what its like to have big boobs!” LOL!

This morning I have indigestion. I don’t know if its tic tac’s fault or not.

I’ve gone off fruit again, and I really cant stomach salad at the moment.

Sunday 17th May 2009 – still 8 weeks pregnant

This has just been an awful week – one filled with worry. This week I have felt the crappiest yet, from headaches, indigestion, backache, nausea etc.

On Thursday, more spotting, and heavier. Not exactly blood, but close. I had this awful sinking feeling. I kept saying “oh no… no, no, no, please don’t…”

It only happened once, but I was still stressing.

Then all day Friday I kept having these stabbing pains in my lower abdomen. Short, sharp, stabbing pain. Then it would go away for a while, then it came back. So I was worried again.

This weekend seems to be ok, I feel a lot better, almost back to my old self. Only problem is that I keep waking up at 4am – needing to go to the bathroom! Its like WHAM – wide awake, uncomfortable bladder.

Feeling really dehydrated too – just cant seem to get enough water in – I’m lucky to get 2 litres down, and yesterday I only managed about 1.5. So when I wake at 4am, my tongue feels like a lump of cardboard in my mouth. Must drink more water!!

Also been dreaming a lot these last two nights.

I’ve had to organize my hens party this week, which hasn’t helped with the stress levels. Oh well.

Friday 22nd May 2009 – 9 weeks pregnant

This week I’ve been feeling good. Too good. Worried that maybe tic tac wasn’t hanging in there, and perhaps we might not get a heartbeat when we have the scan. Stupid thoughts I know. But when your boobs stop hurting, and you stop feeling nausea etc, it’s the thing that springs to my mind.

Maybe I’m just one of the lucky ones?

Nobody ever tells you that this journey is one that is filled with worry!

Been feeling better about food, but still have no interest in salad or veggies. I’m happy to eat veggies if they are mixed in with something, but just salad or steamed veg on its own? Ugh - no thanks.

Still not really eating much protein because it turns my stomach.

But I have been eating too much carbs. I know that for sure, and I really must stop. I feel a bit bloated all the time now, and I’m just hoping that my wedding dress will look ok! Only 3 weeks til we get married now…

Saturday 30th May 2009 – 10 weeks pregnant.

Today was the hens day, and it was a good day, but very tiring.

One of my pregnant friends was over last weekend for a coffee, and at one point I got up and she went “SHIT your boobs are big!!” I just laughed, really wanted to tell her, but bit my tongue. I fobbed it off, but probably not successfully. She might suspect, but then again, maybe not.

Yesterday I had my final dress fitting. When we got the dress, it was a full size too big. Even 5 or 6 weeks ago it was too big. But yesterday, it fit just right. It’s a size 12. Woah, I have really thickened up around the middle. I had to go up 2 sizes for the corset, mainly because of boobs, but also so I could wear it and still breathe! Pick the dress up on Tuesday afternoon.

Am still the same weight now as I was when we first found out. I know that I have lost muscle in these last weeks, what with my half-hearted efforts at the gym. I’m only making it to gym about 2 days a week at the moment. My chiropractor assures me that this is MUCH more than most pregnant women manage, and that I’m doing fine. Still feel guilty.

I think I might be back on salads again, I actually felt like salad on Friday night, for the first time in weeks. Protein is still a bit ick though.

Had my blood tests on Tuesday, and go for the scan in a week and a half. Cant wait to find out how the tic tac is going!

Tuesday 2nd June 2009 – 11 weeks pregnant

I’m staying home sick today. I prolly could have gone, but I really need to rest. I have a cold, and yesterday I couldn’t breathe at all through my nose. Had no sense of taste or smell. Sucked.

The problem is that there isn’t much that I can take – Olive Leaf Extract (which I normally swear by) is a no-no apparently, as is a lot of herbal remedies. Even most cough lollies are frowned on because of the menthol in them. All I can basically take is Lemsip, which has paracetamol. I’m going back to the chemist today to see what else I can take. Every time I blow my nose, my ears block up.

I’m hoping it will be cleared up for the wedding, which is 11 days away!

Only a week and one day til our first scan!

Saturday night turned into an interesting night, with OH coming home roaring drunk and then threw up half the night. It was hard work to keep my own dinner down!

I am officially back on salads again, I bought a delicious salad dressing that has really helped, and I’m only having iceberg lettuce rather than the dark green stuff, but it’s a vast improvement!

Tuesday 9th June 2009 – 12 weeks pregnant!

Yahoo!!! Made it to 12 weeks!!

Tomorrow is the scan, I’m so nervous and excited at the same time. Actually I think I’m more excited about THAT than our wedding on Saturday! Fingers and toes are crossed that everything is fine.

Wednesday 10th June 2009 - 12 week scan day!

Tic tac is healthy and fine, and we are so happy and relieved!! Cant wait to tell everyone at the wedding!

Here is a pic of the little bubba:

Now its time for the BIG news!

2009-06-20T11:23:00.002+10:00

Now that all the excitement of the wedding is over, its time to share with you the OTHER big news in our lives.

I am UP THE DUFF!

Yep, I am 13 weeks pregnant!

Some of my friends know that this something that we have been struggling to achieve for the last 20 months or more. We started trying when I was still at my last job, which was 2 years ago!

After coming off the pill (was on it for 14 years!) we started trying. After a year of no luck, I went and had tests and found out that I have polycystic ovaries. I was devastated to find that out and it sent me into a bit of a downward emotional spiral, which is a lot of the reason for my insomnia and other stresses last year. The “good” news was that, although I have polycystic ovaries, the tests revealed that I don’t have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome – which means that I have the “faulty” ovaries, but not the symptoms that normally go with it.

I was assured that a treatment of Clomid would fix me up, and it DID cause me to ovulate, however, after 4 months of treatment, STILL NOT PREGNANT!!

We actually started planning this whole wedding back in January as a way of taking my mind off fertility stuff, to give me something else to think about!!

Meanwhile, it seems that girls, friends, co-workers, random strangers are getting pregnant at the drop of a hat, there are pregnant women everywhere – SO frustrating and upsetting! What is wrong with me?? I felt like I was close to having a breakdown, I was miserable, emotional all the time. Every month when “bitch week” arrived, I collapsed into a flood of tears, feeling like a failure, feeling guilty for depriving OH of a child, wondering what was wrong with me – WHY CANT I DO THIS???!!!!

So, with 4 months to go until the wedding, we decided to stop trying. Told the Ob/gyn that I was just going to concentrate on the wedding, couldn’t handle it anymore. We tentatively booked some key-hole surgery for July, to have a look inside me and see what else could be the problem.

And then I spent the next 5 weeks drinking COPIOUS amounts of alcohol and coffee, both things I had given up for so long. (I think I drank 6 months worth of alcohol in those 5 weeks!). I didn’t think about pregnancy anymore, I stopped reading about conception, stopped counting days etc.

Unbeknownst to me, I spontaneous ovulated, without the help of any drugs.

And then a few weeks later, I was 10 days late for that-time-of-the-month. And even though I was convinced that there was no way on earth that I could be pregnant,I did a test. And it was positive…

OH – MY – GOD!!!!!!!! Husband-to-be gets all emotional. I’m in shock.

OMG, OMG, OMG… pregnant!!!!!! SO excited, wanted to shout it from the rooftops, ring everyone we knew, tell the WORLD!

But of course, we didn’t tell anyone except our immediate families. We found out just before Anzac Day. I worked out the dates, and realized that if this all went according to plan, I’d be 12 weeks pregnant at the wedding! So we kept our fingers crossed for the next 7 weeks!

We affectionately name bubs “tic tac”. At 5 weeks pregnant, that’s about the size of the embryo. Plus it sounds better than calling it “IT”. By now (June) it has outgrown the name tic tac, but the name has stuck!

We had our 12 week scan on the Wednesday before the wedding, and I cannot describe how amazing and incredible it was to see our little tic tac leaping about inside me. Hubby was stunned. My own jaw hit the floor and stayed there for a good 5 minutes. Tic tac was bouncing around, kicking its legs like crazy, punching the air, doing somersaults (well, almost!).

And the best news ever? Tic tac is looking absolutely fine, healthy and normal. PHEW!

We made the big announcement at the speeches at our wedding reception, and it was a very emotional moment when hubby declared that he was going to be a dad for the first time!

And no – we are not planning on finding out if tic tac is a boy or a girl – that will have to wait until the big day!

Tic-tac is due to join us around the 22nd of December!

What a day!

2009-06-18T11:56:00.005+10:00

I am now a Mrs!!

Wow, what an amazing day our wedding day was!

On Friday night, OH stayed at our best mans house. But when I went to bed that night, he'd left me a beautiful letter on my pillow, 2 pages long - and it made me burst into tears of happiness! He is such a sweet romantic at heart, and I am so lucky to have him!

I was surprisingly calm on the day, and my only major stress was remembering my vows! I went over them time and time again, each time forgetting part of it, or just going blank... I was so worried that I'd stuff it up

Getting ready at mum and dads was the strangest experience. (Getting strapped into my corset wasn't fun either). It all felt quite surreal, it felt like a bit of a dream actually. I started to panic when we got in the limo, OMG I wasn't going to remember these bloody vows! I still kept forgetting them - then my eye started to twitch... I said to my Maid of Honour that OH was going to look deep in my eyes when saying his vows, only to see his freaked out wife-to-be with an uncontrollable eye twitch!! Then I started to do the "what ifs..." - what if the photographer hasn't arrived, OMG what if OH hasn't turned up!!!!

Anyway, the eye twitch disappeared, we arrived and got into positions. For the last 6 months of planning this wedding, OH has told me that he wouldn't be wearing a suit, he has never worn one, and doesn't own one. The plan was he would wear black trousers and a shirt, no tie. I had no problem with that, as we are both quite laid-back people. He decided to surprise me by wearing a suit! I was so overcome with emotion, both with him in a suit, and the raw emotion of the day that I started crying just before we walked down the stairs...

Managed to pull myself together by the time we got to the red carpet though, but then I looked down the aise and saw that OH was getting all teary, and I mumbled to dad "oh no, he's crying!!"

The actual ceremony seemed to be over in a flash. I felt all peaceful and calm, and said my vows word perfect, so I was absolutely chuffed with myself and felt completely relaxed after that!

Signing the register...

Walking back down the aisle as Mr and Mrs!

It was an absolutely perfect day, I couldn't have asked for a better setting, the weather was spectacular, and our cocktail style reception was so relaxed and laid back, just how we wanted it. It all came together so perfectly that there is absolutely nothing I would change!

We've had a few days away and are getting lots of mileage out of calling ourselves "husband" and "wife" - I generally fall apart into giggles at that :) It sounds so grown up LOL!

So its back to reality now, and back to work on Monday!

I will post more pictures when we get some official ones from the photographers in a few weeks, cant wait to see them!

Its almost here!

2009-06-12T10:46:00.002+10:00

Thank you to everyone for the messages of support on blog, email and facebook - you are all beautiful people!

This morning is the calm before the storm I think! This afternoon is going to be very busy with last minute things... Woke up at 4.30 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep - started going over my vows again, making mental notes etc - so I decided to get up and brave the freezing cold house... brrrrr!! I think it was 3 degrees here last night, and our houses in QLD just aren't designed for that!

I also wanted to wish Nicole all the best for her wedding day on Sunday - cant wait to see her pics! Hope you have a wonderful day sweets :)

I dont have anything else to say except... I'm so excited!!!!!

FULL... ON...

2009-06-08T17:37:00.002+10:00

Thank you girls, I am feeling better now and have managed to fight off the head cold, apart from a lingering, honking cough. I sound like a barking dog LOL :)

This weekend has been completely FULL ON. I've been racing around like a headless chicken, from our wedding rehearsal, to housework, washing, shopping in a mad panic yesterday for a new dress, doing some IBO work, then racing out the door yesterday to attend our friends wedding.

Then this morning (after getting about 4 hours sleep after that wedding) I had to get up at 5am to pick my darling brother up from the airport. He's come all the way from America to attend our wedding and be our MC! So today has been very social, with mum and dad coming up for lunch, then we had to duck out this afternoon to get some curtains for the spare room for him!

Luckily I have the next two weeks off work, so I can get "stuff" done. I have appointments every day this week, and I might try to fit in a massage too, since for the last few days I've had one of those dull headaches that wont go away.

I'm really starting to get excited now! Everything is organised, just have to go pay people lots of money. Actually we still haven't organised cars yet, but I will get that done this week (OH has passed this one small task BACK to me!)

I am so looking forward to next week when I can just sit back and do NOTHING, and THINK about nothing! No more planning - how awesome will that be!

Have a great week everyone!

Here comes the (snotty) bride

2009-06-02T08:30:00.002+10:00

Well just to make things interesting, I've gone and caught a cold. A very very snotty head cold! I am not impressed. I caught it off OH, who only seemed to have it for 3 days and is now totally fine (typical).

With 11 days to go until the wedding, I now have visions of walking down the aisle with a bright red, sore nose, and having to stop halfway through the ceremony to blow it. And THEN where will I put the snotty tissues?? LOL!

I'm having a day off today to try to rest and recover. Will have to head to the chemist to get something. Luckily I dont have any flu-like symptoms, its just my head thats blocked up - so if you chopped my head off I'd be fine!

I'm trying to take my own advice and rest while I'm sick... so no gym. I had my dress fitting last Friday anyway, so whatever size I am now, I'm going to have to stay that way until the big day!

On Saturday I had my hens party, we all loaded up on a bus and went on our warehouse shopping tour, which was really good. I was given a "Bride To Be" sash, which was kinda cool to wear, a bit of a novelty - hey, you only get to be a bride once (hopefully!). Most of us spent up BIG at the Darrell Lea chocolate outlet. I bought a BOX of liquorice (containing 12 packets of soft eating liquorice) for $10!! I went halves with mum on this, and I have put all but one packet in the freezer. That's one thing I didn't know - that you can freeze liquorice. My one open packet is being rationed out slowly :)

Also went to the Berlei factory outlet and got some underwear, and also went to this fantastic homewares place that sells to Loot and Freedom Furniture - heaps of vases, candles, mirrors, prints etc at really great prices (starting from $5-$10) - I think we all bought something in there! We also went to bags and shoes, a kitchenware outlet, manchester, Reebok (got some new gym shoes!) and had a buffet lunch at Broncos Leagues Club.

OH had his bucks party too - they started out doing a bootcamp (flying foxes, rope climbs etc - sounds like awesome fun to me!!) and then they headed out for dinner. Well, he got home after midnight, blind drunk! From 2am onwards he had his head down the toilet, or in a bucket, and it took me 2 hours to get him back to bed. There was a bit of cleaning up to do (because sometimes the toilet wasn't close enough and the floor was an easier target!) and I had trouble hanging on to my own dinner... urgrh! Normally he doesn't drink much, but obviously the boys shouted him drinks all night! Oh well, you only get married once I guess!

So that was my fun weekend!

Kitchens, Stress, and Telstra

2009-05-24T11:35:00.004+10:00

I'm still here!! Been a while, sorry. Lots going on...

Firstly, kitchen. Here's what our kitchen looked like BEFORE (well, actually, OH had already started dismantling in this pic, but you get the idea) - a lovely soft pink, with round gold knobs for handles. VERY 80's!
And now... with new rangehood (note, the blue vent thing above rangehood still has the protective plastic on it, it is actually stainless steel underneath!)

We still have no splashbacks, but that will happen in the next few weeks. We're thinking of glass splashbacks - maybe a colour. What do you think of red? We originally planned a silver colour, but we are thinking we need some colour in there.

And I now have a breakfast bar (below), which also means that I can prepare meals AND watch TV through the lounge room at the same time... now we have all the mod-cons! LOL!

Last weekend I went to watch the INBAs in Brissie, and got to cheer on Michaela and Selina. Both girls looked fantatsic, and absolutely shone on stage. Still has not convinced me to get up there myself one day, but never say never I suppose! It was also lovely to catch up with lots of blogger friends, Deb, Jadey, Kerry, Liz and Lindy, and also meet a few other girls for the first time :)

I have felt incredibly stressed this week. I have all these lists of things to finalise for the wedding (less than 3 weeks to go now, OMG!) and I had to organise the hens party too :( Originally I wanted to go into town (in the Valley) to this new club, but a few weeks ago I went to a hens party in the Valley, and while I had a great time, when I was leaving I just decided that a boozy night in town just isn't me anymore. I'm over it, maybe I'm too old for it, I dont know. So I changed my plans at the last minute!!

Instead we are now doing a shopping bus tour next Saturday, which I am really looking forward to! We get to go to all sorts of warehouse outlets (some are not open to the public) and also get a nice buffet lunch on the way. Now if people would only RSVP me so I can organise final numbers!! My maid of honour has a lot on her plate at the moment, so I took on the organising of the hens party too. Maybe not a good move, I have actually lost sleep over this, more so than the wedding!

Anyway, there has been more frustration this week. We had some wild weather through the week, and consequently lots of wind - a tree in our yard broke and snapped our phone line. So I've been without home internet for a few days, and it makes things very difficult. Telstra came out yesterday to fix it, but because it was raining, they refuse to climb ladders in the rain... grrrr... so now I have to wait around for them on Monday when they come back. Lets just hope its not still raining.

I'm using my work laptop, but its not great, as all my IBO work is on my home computer.

Well, thats enough whinging for me for one day. This time in 3 weeks I will be Mrs H !

31 days til I'm a "Mrs"

2009-05-13T08:02:00.003+10:00

Not much time for blogging lately, but I am still here!!

Starting to really count down now, 31 days now til I get hitched! My mind is starting to overflow with all the things that are going on, finalising everying, organising wedding rehearsal, meeting the photographer on site to suss out where we'll get photos done, hens party, menu choices, flower colours, decorations at the reception, accommondation, getting final numbers together - the list seems to be endless!

The only thing not organised is the cars. OH is meant to be organising that. But I'm not too stressed about it - worst case scenario, we'll get taxis. No biggie.

So with all the wedding stuff going on, we're also in the middle of some major house renovations, with the kitchen having HALF gone in a week and a half ago. The stone bench tops got measured up, so we're hoping to have the rest done very soon (was hoping for this Friday, but who knows!). So I have bits of MDF & villa board for bench tops at the moment, and no sink. I'm having to run up and down to the laundry sink all the time.

Our dining table has been buried under a mass of kitchen appliances, glasses etc - all waiting for the kitchen and cupboards to be finished. So we've been eating on the lounge in front of the TV every night for the last two weeks - OH is loving it! I just want to get my dining table back.

Oh yeah, we also had another lot of concreting done, this time the front section of our driveway got done, and under the carport, and the back patio too - so nice to be rid of the dirt finally! Still lots more concreting to be done, but its expensive, so we have to do it in stages.

Anyway, thats about what my life consists of at the moment! I'm ready for it all to be over and done with!

Been a while...

2009-04-26T15:43:00.003+10:00

Well things are still pretty busy around here, hence the lack of posting I guess!

My foot issues are making me train a little differently, I'm avoiding anything impact. So about the only thing I have done for the last week or so is cycling - on the stationary bike, and in cycle classes. Oh, I have done weights too! Cant forget that!

Last weekend I tried to take the dogs for a walk, and because our area is so hilly, it ended up straining my foot tendon again, so even walking seems to be out at the moment. Not good when you're on a mission to be a buff bride, but these things were sent to try us I guess!

Yesterday I spoke to the podiatrist (my hairdressers husband - noice!!) and he is going to organise some orthotics for me (mates rates too - love it!) and has given me some advice on strapping techniques. I've been strapping it in different ways to try to find the way that rips the least amount of skin off. He took one look at how I'd strapped it and said "um... where did you learn to do THAT?".

I said: "ummmm.... the internet?" (bowing head in shame)

I think he actually shook his head in disbelief LOL! Turns out, my feet are crooked. Well I cant remember the technical term, but thats the upshot anyway. They slump inwards. So I'm also nightly going to be treating my feet to 10 minutes each of ice/heat/ice/heat - followed by some massage of the heel and arch. Hopefully all this helps!

Yesterday I went to a 2nd birthday party. I ate a slice of fairy bread. WHY? I dont know. It was there. Its probably been at least 25 years since I last had some. I'm pretty sure it will be another 25 years before I have another.

I also went to my hairdresser, had my pre-wedding trim, and got her to refresh my purple stripe.

We're getting some concreting done tomorrow, and we are also getting our kitchen installed on Friday - HOO-BLOODY-RAY! Give it a few weeks, and I'll show you all a photo.

Yep, its all happening here.

Catcha.

The verdict seems to be...

2009-04-13T08:05:00.002+10:00

Plantar fasciitis.

I think I have figured out what my foot pain is. All the symptoms seem to point to this. I will, of course, go to a podiatrist and get it checked out.

I'd heard of the 'plantar fascia' before, but, y'know, I always thought it was something to do with warts (plantar warts)!

So yesterday and today, on the advise of the ever helpful internet (!) I have strapped my feet as shown, and the difference has been amazing. The burning in the arch and heel is still there, but the sharp pain when I walk has stopped. Rest, icing and stretching is also recommended. Running may be off the schedule for a few weeks.

In other news, I spent Saturday and Sunday in Warwick... oh joy. The Datsun Nationals (affectionately known as the "Dat Nats") were on - and LUCKY me got to go. The things we do for our other halves eh? We were only meant to go on Saturday, however the drags got rained out, so OH went home very dissapointed on Saturday night. Sunday dawned all clear in Warwick, so back we went... 2 hours there, 2 hours back. 2 days in a row. Looking at old cars. Bet you're all SOOO jealous! lol!

As far as Easter goes, we kinda forgot. Somebody at work gave me a couple of mini eggs, which have been in the fridge since mid last week. So I ate two. That was the sum total of my Easter chocolate experience. I dont "do" hot cross buns (ick!) so the damage was minimal. I did eat some rubbish in Warwick, but only because it was that or nothing. All in all, not too bad a weekend.

Anyways, today I'll be off to do the groceries, the cupboards are bare!! I'm also going to look at sunglasses - I'm sick of buying cheap ones, I want a really nice new pair of good ones that will last for a while. Will post a pic if I find some!

Enjoy the last day of your long weekend...

My new favourite breakfast

2009-04-04T09:55:00.007+10:00

Cottage cheese, onion, tomato and a sprinkling of herbs, on toast, and then grilled... yum! I have been having this a few days a week for breakfast, its a little more time consuming than my regular oats and cottage cheese, but its so worth it... could I be a cottage cheese convert??? I suppose I had to go over to the dark side eventually :)

Training has been going great, had a moment on Wednesday night where I'd had a bad day at work, and was feeling a bit low, so had a glass of wine. Not good behaviour, but something I'm working on. Wednesday was a particularly bad day for some reason, I skipped a training session, had the wine, and only got about 4 hours sleep that night. Followed it up with a fantastic day on Thursday though, smashed it at cycle, and ate clean all day, which on 4 hours sleep was something of an accomplishment!

Last night my maid of honour came around to see my wedding dress, and we got talking about lots of wedding stuff. She's a bit like me in that we're both not "girly" girls - its all a bit alien for both of us actually! So next on the agenda is to get the hens night organised... a night out in the city is in order I think.

Here is what OH has been busy with this morning... we're about to get a new front door...

The big gaping hole, and our ugly old front door. Spot the cat, looking for an escape route (not likely with Shavez standing guard!)

The new front door... soon to be installed.

We are both so over this house!! For the past few days its been raining, and now we've got saturated carpet again in the downstairs spare bedroom, and we're not sure where its getting in. Oh the joys... Oh how I wish for a house that didn't need to be renovated!

When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.

2009-03-29T14:41:00.002+10:00

I feel like I've got so much going on at the moment, feel like I'm trying to be superwoman!! Wedding stuff is slowly coming together - ordered my invitations last week, so I've been going through address lists, wording options, romantic verses (!!) and FONTS! Who knew that choosing a bloody font could be so difficult?

And just when I've got it narrowed down to a few options, OH finally decides to have a say, and dislikes my choices... grrrrr!

Is it just me, or do most males think that you can just "wing it" with weddings? I think mine has decided that all he has to do is turn up... lol!

I'm making great progress with training though, absolutely smashed it this week. Only managed 2 weights sessions, but did 7 cardio sessions. Sprint update: did interval sprints on Tuesday morning - kept it at 14km/hour but increased the duration slightly... need to increase it more next week.

Feeling pretty good, weight is finally shifting a little, food has been pretty clean all week - and counting down - 11 weeks to go!

12 weeks to go

2009-03-21T09:12:00.004+10:00

I've had so much stuff that I wanted to blog about this week, but I haven't had much spare time on the computer this week, so I've forgotten most of it!!

The most exciting news is that there is now only 12 weeks until I become a "Mrs"! OMG I still have so much to do! So effectively that gives me 11 weeks to get into "buff bride" shape - I say 11 weeks because I intend to have the entire week off training before the wedding - I want to look rested and refreshed, without dark circles under my eyes.

I dont really have far to go, about 3kg. Its just that I keep losing and gaining the same 1kg every week, and I'm a little bit over it. Weekends are my downfall, I'm usually really good and consistent through the week, but then come Saturday its sleeping in, egg white omelette on toast for breakfast (which are still fine, but I find them so much more filling than my regular oats and cottage cheese, consequently I forget to eat meal 2)... , forgetting to drink enough water, a few glasses of wine on Saturday night, takeaway for dinner... you know the story.

Enough is enough. I'm in countdown mode now. Putting together my plan this weekend, watch this space!

This week I was so motivated, it felt great. On Tuesday I challenged myself to beat my previous best sprinting speed of 13.1 km/hour. Got to 14.5km/hour - 1 minute intervals. Woohoo!! Felt amazing, my intervals were 6km/hour, 9km/hour, 14.5km/hour - kept that up for 10 minutes. Then I slowed to my next walking interval, and got struck down with the most horrendous period pain... I wasn't sure if I wanted to vomit, or run to the toilet, or collapse on the floor. So I had to pack up and get the hell out of there - went home, took 3 panadeine, and laid on the floor for 20 minutes until it passed.

Next morning I was determined to do it again, so after weights I did a 10 minute jog, and then another 10 minutes of intervals - this time I got to 15km/hour! The treadmill started to make a noise at that speed (the suspension starts to rattle), to the point where people were turning around to stare at me... oops! (perhaps it was my gasping noises that drew their attention?!) Shattered after that!

Its nice to be able to challenge myself like that - each week I want to either increase the speed, or increase the length of the intervals. Next week I will aim for longer duration, and the following week will go for speed.

Wedding: have ordered the invitations, paid the deposit for the venue, booked our accommodation for a few nights after the wedding, booked my flowers, and shortlisted some photographers. Surprisingly most wedding suppliers seem to be free on my date, every single photographer that I have contacted is available... who says you need a year or more to organise a wedding!!?

So I'm starting to feel more organised!

Have a fabulous weekend!